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Should I confront friend?

9 replies

suspicious88 · 28/05/2019 13:15

Hi, I've name changed for this as it's possibly outing. I'm looking for advice regarding a friend of mine. I'll call her Sarah. I've known Sarah for roughly 20 years, we used to be extremely close friends but around 6 years ago our friendship tailed off.

We kept in contact every few months but the closeness was gone. But when we met up it was like we'd never been apart. But we'd go months between contact.
To give some background, Sarah is a professional and lives at home with her parents. I am newly married and have four children, my youngest is my partner's. I am a SAHM.

A few years ago I was a single mum of two, pregnancy and on full benefits. Twice in 2 months I was called in for a compliance meeting in the job centre. Someone had reported me for living with a partner ( my children's father). We did not live together, but would come down a couple of times a week, but a few months before this meeting, we were finished, he wasn't seeing me at all. Naturally this caused a lot of stress for me and as a result had a huge row with my children's father and we haven't spoke since.
My problem is that I am suspicious of this friend for causing me these problems. I met her recently for the first time in 18 months and she got straight down to it. She asked me what my husband earns, what benefits I'm entitled to, does the job centre still go on at me to get a job?
Should I ask her if it was her that reported me? Or should I cut her out of my life?
I'm sorry this has been so long but I didn't want to drip feed.

OP posts:
StCharlotte · 28/05/2019 13:19

I might say "oh it was you who reported me!" and see how she reacts.

suspicious88 · 28/05/2019 13:19

To add, soon after the allegations were made I did ask her. She went red and said no and I didn't push it. But now I'm convinced it was her due to her questioning me.
I have also caught her taking photos of the inside of my house and my children when she thought I wasn't looking. I asked why and she told me it was to prove to her boyfriend where she was.

OP posts:
BenWillbondsPants · 28/05/2019 13:42

I have also caught her taking photos of the inside of my house and my children when she thought I wasn't looking.

Erm, what? I would absolutely not be getting involved with this person again. X

suspicious88 · 28/05/2019 13:52

They were odd photos, of the backs of their heads and my living room. She was sat facing me, talking and I didn't realise she was snapping pictures till I glanced at her phone which was open on a whatsapp thread and I saw they had been sent to somebody.

OP posts:
Soola · 28/05/2019 13:56

I’d have snatched the phone and kicked her out.

Forget the did she or didn’t she dob you in, the fact she took photos without your permission shows her to be as dodgy as fuck.

BuildBuildings · 28/05/2019 13:59

I'd confront her. Doesn't seem like you're getting much out of this friendship anyway and it would. Give you closure.

suspicious88 · 28/05/2019 14:11

Our friendship has been dead for a long time and I always think I'll phase her out but then she gets back in touch with an excuse and it drags it out. Every time I see her I feel shit about myself from her interrogations and trying to catch me out. I just don't know whether to ask about this, it will give me closure as it plays on my mind who it was, but then again I don't want to cause trouble and she'll probably lie about it. Thank you for these replies, I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Soola · 28/05/2019 14:13

I might be wrong but so people that fob others I get a reward?

That could be why she’s doing it?

mbosnz · 28/05/2019 14:52

Block her. She is not a friend. Do not give her the openings and the opportunity to do whatever the hell it is she is doing in your life. I'm getting bunny boiler vibes off this one. She was almost certainly the one, but I'm not sure she could lie straight in bed, so not a lot of reliance could be placed on her answer. She has no business sticking her nose into your business, you do not answer to her. Nosy cow.

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