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Father not well - UTIs and disorientation - should he be in hospital?

31 replies

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 05:58

My lovely 80 year old Dad was fine up until a week ago, and then got quite bad flu (despite having had the vaccination this winter). We speak about once a week as he lives in Italy, and the first I heard of it was about 3 days ago. He said he was so weak that he had had a couple of episodes during which when he was trying to get out of bed, he slid to the floor, and one of those times he couldn’t get up at all, and had to wait for his partner to come home to get him up.

That was really frightening news, but he is apparently on the mend. Is in bed most of the time and is a bit unsteady on his feet when he stands up. I spoke to him on Sunday and he sounded alright. He is coughing a lot and is taking antibiotics.

Then yesterday, while I was out shopping, I get a phone call from him and though he phoned me, he seems very brief and there is no real point to his call on his part - I asked him how he is. I thought he was going to see the doctor so asked him about that. He said his partner had been to ask the doctor questions. So I said yes and what did the doctor say. “About this question of the votes” he says. I had no idea what was going on at this stage, and tried to clarify - I kept on saying “no, what did the doctor say” and he kept on talking about the votes. He rang off a couple of times and talking to him again he said some unintelligible stuff.

It dawns on me that it is not me who is completely hard of thinking, and that there is in fact no connection between the European elections and the doctor.

Then, a series of phone calls later, with my sister who has also spoken to him and his partner, and also with his partner, confirm that:

  • he still has a low temperature at some points in the day
  • he has a UTI and cannot make it to the toilet - his partner tries to take him but he slides to the ground - so he has had wetting himself accidents and they (his partner and partner’s son) have gone to get him nappies
  • he had one really bad moment of disorientation yesterday when he was in the wrong part of the flat doing/putting something in the wrong place
  • he had been refusing to carry on with his antibiotics so his partner had to cry to make him carry on
  • he had stopped taking his heart and blood pressure medicine but has started again
  • he is irritable (understandably)
  • he is weak.

Does this not sound to you like someone who should be in hospital? Not least because his partner is tiny, and about 78, and he is not able to make it to the toilet on his own.

She put me on the phone to him again last night, as the moment of confusion had passed, but though he was putting words in the right place and sounded calm, he was oddly detached and not himself. He was not at all convinced he should finish the course of antibiotics he said.

My sister and I were pressing Dad’s partner to call an ambulance, but, having called her son over to help, they decided the following:

  • not to take him last night as his “crisis” had passed, and he would be left to wait all night in horrible conditions apparently (he lives in Rome)
  • this morning his partner is going to give details of everything that is going on to what I think is his doctor and based on her recommendations they can apparently call an ambulance, but with a letter from her that can speed up his getting to where he needs to be in a hospital OR, she might recommend that he has an MRI scan - since his partner thinks that his disorientation yesterday might be due to a mini stroke (??).

I am not at all reassured. The first thing that sprang to mind is that the UTI had caused the disorientation. His partner did not seem to know that that was a thing, and when I told her hardly listened, because she never really listens.

I am also not reassured by the fact that they are treating hospital as only an option. She seemed to think that he would really hate the fact that she had organised that - but surely that’s not the point and he needs to be in a place where he is on a drip (he is eating and drinking little), has a catheter attached, is being given his antibiotics and other medicine, is being looked after and can rest?

Do they know about the link between UTIs in elderly people and disorientation in Italy? She wants him to have an MRI scan for a stroke but surely his symptoms are usual in someone with his infection?

Not to say they shouldn’t cover all bases, but I think he should be in hospital. He sounded weak as well.

Either me or my sister will be going out today.

Not sure what my question is - I wanted to ask about UTIs and disorientation.

Thank you.

OP posts:
StuntCroissant · 28/05/2019 06:08

If he's elderly with a UTI yes he should be in hospital. UTIs are well known to cause disorientation too - in fact that's how we used to know my 95-year-old grandma had one.

StuntCroissant · 28/05/2019 06:10

Meant to add- if he goes into retention (ie can't see), it is a v serious issue.

StuntCroissant · 28/05/2019 06:10

Can't wee*

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sebashocked · 28/05/2019 06:11

I think he needs to go to hospital. Older people don't necessarily have a high temperature even when they have a raging infection. My MIL in Italy (though Nort East so slightly better hospitals) quickly declined into massive complications from a UTI which turned into sepsis. Get them to take him ASAP so they can start pumping him with antibiotics

OlyRoller · 28/05/2019 06:11

An major infection can cause personality changes in the elderly. I would get him to the hospital.

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 06:14

Thank you. His partner seemed to think the infection was not much - said he has cystitis and didn’t listen to my telling her about the disorientation.

Of course no one knows, but do you think he had a mini stroke?

Is cystitis the same as a mini stroke?

OP posts:
Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 06:14

Oops sorry, as a UTI I meant to say?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/05/2019 06:31

Sounds like UTI. My mum gets the disorientation and falls when she has 1. She ended up on IV antibiotics in hospital a couple of times with hers. It does mimic a stroke so hospital would be the best place for him in both cases

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 06:33

Thank you.

It’s so worrying him being there, and his partner not really getting it.

If he was here I would know exactly what to do, and would have done it already.

The system is different there and I don’t understand it.

OP posts:
Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 06:37

Am going to send his partner’s son some info I did find in Italian about the link between UTIs and confusion. And again press the need for hospital.

I was talking to Dad’s partner about a drip and catheter but she seemed a bit dismissive and defensive.

OP posts:
sm40 · 28/05/2019 06:40

My grandma had a uti and confusion. Refused to go to go to
Hospital. I think she had to
Be temporarily sectioned to get her there! Put right very quickly.
On the other hand the rest of the symptoms are also screaming out possible sepsis or at least sepsis risk! Definitely needs to be seen.

concernedforthefuture · 28/05/2019 06:40

Yes to hospital, especially if he is refusing antibiotics. UTIs definitely cause confusion in the elderly. Untreated, they can quickly migrate to kidneys and even go on to cause Sepsis (urosepsis) - low body temp can be a symptom of this.

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 06:47

Thank you.

Am panicking now. Am going to pass on all this info to partner and son.

I meant he has a not too high temperature, not that his body temperature is low.

Have to compose my message in Italian now and send it.

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 28/05/2019 07:12

Yes he needs to be in hospital. Is she monitoring his fluid input and output eg how much he is drinking and weeing? He is at risk of sepsis and kidney failure. However maybe you need to find out what is stopping her sending him to hospital. Is he fully insured? Is he 'allowed' to be in Italy? Is the hospital a long way from their home and she's worried about how she would visit him? Is your dad the one refusing treatment and she's trying to respect his wishes? With a mini stroke or TIA the symptoms will pass within 24 hours. A stroke is also diagnosed, in the first instance at least, by a CT scan rather than MRI. If she's genuinely concerned it's a stroke all the more reason to go to hospital urgently. Have you heard of FAST? However I would suspect the symptoms she may be worried about, slurred speech, weakness, falling are caused by a UTI rather than a stroke, but only professional can confirm that.

NancyJoan · 28/05/2019 07:19

Can you get over there, OP? He really, really needs to be in hospital.

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 07:23

No what’s FAST?

He is fully insured and allowed to be there, I think she is more trying to respect his wishes.

I have just messaged her and she said that he got up by himself this morning and had good sized breakfast which is a good sign I think? The first proper food he has had. Including lots of fluid.

She said she will keep us updated today. Apparently he is still taking his antibiotics.

OP posts:
RaffertyFair · 28/05/2019 07:26

Call 111 on his behalf and explain his symptoms. They will call ambulance.

My Dad has had repeated admissions for utis. On one occasion ge was blue lighted because the symptoms were so severe they couldn't rule out a stroke.

Good luck OP

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 07:30

Call 111 on his behalf and explain his symptoms. They will call ambulance.

I would but he lives in Italy.

I understand that his partner, seeing him get up to have breakfast, must think that the worst is over.

Only hearing stuff over the phone (frightening and not frightening) makes it very hard to gauge.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/05/2019 07:30

Hopefully he's on the mend if he is taking the antibiotics

Hairyfairy01 · 28/05/2019 07:36

FAST is face, arm, speech, time. Give it a google, it's something that everyone should be aware of imo. Can you FaceTime / Skype him at all so you can judge how he is for yourself. Have you asked when he last had a wee? And when he did wee how dark it was. My parents live a long way as well OP, it's hard.

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 07:45

Thank you.

I will ask about the wee.

Oh yes I do know what FAST is. I had forgotten.

He doesn’t do Skype but I could WhatsApp video his partner and talk to him on her phone. Good idea.

OP posts:
mrsjackrussell · 28/05/2019 07:58

Yes UTI can definitely cause confusion. In hospital first thing if elderly get confused we test for uti.
He definitely needs seeing by Dr straight away as can travel to kidneys.
Hope you get it sorted soon.

mrsjackrussell · 28/05/2019 07:59

Also with sepsis body temp can be low as well as high.

Desolate1 · 28/05/2019 08:37

Thank you.

Am waiting until his partner has seen the doctor this morning, and will message her again.

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 28/05/2019 20:03

How you managed to get some answers OP