Help me plan something for DH’s 40th, including our twin toddlers with ASD - I have no ideas!

[SinkGirl]

DH turns 40 this year. Life has been tough, our twins (2.5) have both been diagnosed with autism in the last year and one has had other diagnoses and health issues too.

I want to do something lovely for his 40th, maybe our first family holiday, but I know that would be more about the kids than him which makes me feel a bit bad.

The only thing I can think of is Centre Parcs but that’s not very inspired!

Criteria are:

• UK would be ideal, I’m not sure how they’d handle a plane

• We live in Dorset and would need to drive due to the amount of stuff the boys need

• His birthday is on a Thursday in early August so that means school holiday prices (boo!). We have a hospital appointment on his actual birthday so could leave that evening, or at the weekend

• We need somewhere with activities for the boys - we live by the beach, so forest type things may be better

• A kids club or babysitting service and somewhere nice to eat nearby for one of the days / nights would be ideal but mostly we want to spend time together

• Budget isn’t my primary concern, within reason!

Does anyone have any really good recommendations? He’s an amazing father and husband and I want to do something memorable. We had very awesome 30th birthdays as a childfree couple but life is so different now - not a bad thing, just have to do different things!

Cornwall has some fab family friendly hotels. Bedruthan Steps hotel is fab. I think there is another one too, but I can’t remember it. Sure someone else will come on with it!

Go to longleat and stay at a beautiful yurt tent site botanycamping.com/

You could go away as a family but still do something special for your dh - a flying lesson/race-track driving type thing for one afternoon or tickets for a comedy show or something for the two of you if you can get a babysitter. Retallack resort in Cornwall is great if you want your own lodge rather than hotel room but still has kids club & babysitting and restaurant plus waterpark and pool for kids.

Could you leave the children with grandparents so you and your husband could have a romantic weekend just the two of you? I'm sure he would appreciate that!

No, there’s no one to leave them with - the only grandparent is MIL and she barely knows them. We don’t have anyone to help.

Thanks for the suggestions, I’ll have a look :)

Since having kids, I've not found any holidays particularly relaxing!

Are you dead set on a holiday as a present? Unless you have on-tap babysitting, there will definitely be some crap bits of the trip.

My kids are 18m & 3y. For birthdays, Christmas, Father's Day etc I get them to make him cards. They love it and he loves it. They pick photos of themselves to go on the cards.

This may be outing, but... for my husband's 40th, I wrote letters to every famous person I could think of that he liked, enclosing a blank 40th card, and asking them (very nicely) if they would sign it and return to me. I also enclosed stamped, addressed envelopes so all they had to do was scribble and stick in an envelope. I was absolutely overwhelmed with the response. Some very VERY famous people not only signed, but also wrote very lovely personal messages to my husband.

He ended up with about 30 cards from F1 drivers, TV personalities, 80s popstars, authors, Jim Bowen from Bullseye(!), and an incredible one from his favourite band. He was blown away by it. It wasn't difficult to do, just took time and stamps!

Good luck, I hope you manage to find something lovely.

Ah crap, sorry. There were paragraphs when I wrote that!

Check out Bluestone, lots of outdoor activities and space

Oh Peter that’s lovely! I may try that. I actually have an awesome present in the works - if it comes off I will be a legend 😂

You’ve just given me an idea though, there are a few people I’ll try to write to!

I just feel like I want to do something special to mark it, and that something has to involve the twins as there’s no one to have them. I thought making some nice memories could be good although I’m sure it would have its moments

I always make a personalised card for him with photos of him and the boys for birthdays, father’s days etc. Unfortunately the boys can’t get involved with anything like that, they don’t understand anything like that yet, or what photos are, or cards! Hopefully one day :)

I would definitely look at centreparcs. If budget can stretch to it one of the fab lodges with a hot tub.... somewhere lovely to chill with wine when your boys go to bed.

There is so much to do on site for all ages!

Has anyone been to any of the Aria resorts on the Isle of Wight? It’s fairly easy for us to get there from here so thought it might be a good option. A week in a lodge with a hot tub would be about £1500 at that time of year so want to make sure it’s good :)