Starting school

[Tangled12]

My daughter is expected to start reception this September. However she's got a place at a school where her friends are not attending-- she just recently made these friends as at the start of her nursery term she was very shy and withdrawn and took her a while to adjust! I'm worried she'll find it uncomfortable knowing no one from her friends are there and that she won't see them friends, when asked about school she doesn't ask if her friends and says I'm going to a big kids school now. but I'm worried and think she should change schools to where they are so she'll find it easier and settle or am I just over worrying for no reason 🤔🤔🤔

If she is less shy and withdrawn than she was, she should easily be able to make more friends at school. If she's happy about going and you're happy with the school I wouldn't anticipate problems that don't exist.

I think you need to go with the school you chose for her. If she takes 3 weeks to settle rather than 1 week (or 1 term v 4 weeks) it isn't going to impact the next 7 years.

My DS didn't know anyone. He struggled to settle at nursery so was so worried about sending him to a school where he knew no one, so he had to start again as it were, but it's been the making of him. Good luck. I'm sure you chose the school for the right reasons. Kids adapt quickly.

Many, if not most, reception kids don't know anyone when they start and even if they do friendships change quickly. She'll be fine.

My DS went to a school that none of his friends that’s he’s known since he was 3 months old went to.

I stressed about it a lot and was really worried, but my boy settled so well and it could not have worked out any better.

Worrying for no reason. She's just demonstrated that she can make friends so have some faith ;)

Completely natural to worry, but try not to. She'll make friends based on the most random of things, they don't need sophisticated social skills aged 4. E.g. they'll stand beside each other at the water table and suddenly "x is my best friend".

What made you choose this school? Presumably you liked it?

Why did you choose this school instead of the one her friends are going to? Presumably you had good reasons why this school would be better for her, remind yourself of the reasons because they are still the case now. Would you even be able to get a place for her at the school her friends are going to at this point? Is that school full? Probably, so it wouldn't be possible to change your mind now.
I do know how you feel. My DDs went (DD2 is still there for another couple of months) to a nursery that is linked to DH's work so isn't really near our house and the children come from a wide area. DD1 was the only child from the nursery to go to the school she is at and she didn't know anyone at the school. I was very worried that she wouldn't make friends and would be upset at school. She did make friends in Reception even though most of the others knew some of the other children already because they had been to a small number of local nurseries. They didn't all stay friends with other children they had been to nursery with but they mixed and made new friends anyway, so even if your DD went to the same school as her nursery friends they might not all stay friends. DD1 did miss her nursery friends for a bit and still talked about them but soon made new friends. DD2 is starting school in September, and it seems that there is another child from her nursery going to the same school but he isn't one of her friends, so she will also need to make new friends at school. It is natural to worry about this, and maybe like me you feel mean for taking her away from her current friends, but at 4 they do tend to make friends easily, especially if they are all starting a new school together and don't all already know each other.

Thank you for the replies they've all been really helpful and has given my mind some rest 😁 the school she'll be going to was our first choice and one of the best in the area, they do alot in terms of practical activities and focus on English and history which I liked as I have a history degree myself and would love her to have a keen interest in the topic as many schools are drifting away from them traditional topics! When we applied, she hadn't formed any friends yet so we never took in the issue of her friends and chose the school that was doing best academically, the other school actually has an ofsted report of requires improvement and many parents have applied there due to a sibling link! The ofsted report has scared people off as they haven't had as much applicants as in the previous years.