Opinions on splitting the bill

[Pinkarmchair]

Inspired by the recent bill splitting thread.

I'm a vegetarian who doesn't drink alcohol. I'm about to start my first 'proper' job and I was wondering what the etiquette should be when going out for a meal with my colleagues.

Should I suck up the difference and pay way more than my meal costs (other people I have been out with would pay around £30-35 for their meat and wine and my meal would be £15 ish) or should I say something like "would it be ok to get my own as I haven't had alcohol and had a veggie meal?" Please give me better wording than this!

For work drinks, how do I politely say I don't want to be included in rounds?

I'll be moving to a new city and making new friends too so the same question for that - should I pay my own/suck up the difference and pay more? In my current friendship group we all pay for what we had, I'm not sure if that's the norm (we are early 20s).

the difference between you meal and ur share will likely be massive so I would just say politely explain that

Hopeful bump

I don’t drink alcohol and always say at the start of my meal that I will be buying my own drinks.

With food, a main meal is a main meal so I would be part of splitting the bill.

I’m also a teetotal vegetarian - generally if it comes up at the beginning, I’ll say something but otherwise I’ll wait till the bill arrives.

It’s important to keep track of what you’ve actually had and how much it cost during your meal - eg if you take some of the bread that somebody ordered for the table then you should add a bit for that.

Then before anybody splits the bill, I say “Mine was £14.50, so I’ll put in £17” (for example).

It helps if you have cash with you, so can produce the exact right amount, then just hand that over.

If anybody questions it - and tbh they shouldn’t - just respond “My meal only cost £14.50, veggie food is a lot cheaper.”

@Soola

How can you do both at a restaurant? How can you buy your own drinks but still split the bill?

Just drink tapwater

@TinselTimes Then before anybody splits the bill, I say “Mine was £14.50, so I’ll put in £17” (for example).

Is the extra for the tip?
Also what if you're not quick enough and someone has already got their calculator out and said it'll be e.g. £30 each?

I don't tend to find it comes out much cheaper unless big drinkers so just usually go with splitting equally. Soft drinks are getting more expensive.

Just a word of caution in case your expectations are too high

Not all work places go out for meals

It might just be a Xmas drink once a year

Extra helps towards tip and any joint bits.

@Pinkarmchair

Because I will pay directly for my drink to either the waitress or at the bar depending on venue.

I don’t actually drink a large volume so for example will have a J20 and lemonade in a pint glass which will take me all night to drink even if I could manage to finish it all.

And unless you're drinking tap water don't underestimate the cost of soft drinks or juice.

I would tend to say something like "I'm going to opt out of the split and just get my own, I find it easier to keep track of my budget that way". No apologies etc.

@Pinkarmchair - yes, the extra is for the tip (you should be topping 10-15 percent of what you had, not of the total bill!).

If somebody does announce its £30 each, I’d just reply with “actually mine was only £14.50, so I’ll put in £17 to include a tip”.

Occasionally people look a bit annoyed by this but I’m pretty assertive about politely repeating that mine only cost x, so I’ll put in y. If anybody really pushes you on it, you can turn it around to a question - “you want me to pay an extra £15.50? What for?” And then they’ll back down.

I've always found people are mindful of non-drinkers. Maybe I'm just fortunate to work/mix with reasonable people, but we will always say that the non drinker should contribute less.

Food isn't so much of an issue. Usually if someone has had steak or an obviously bore expensive item, they will contribute more. But otherwise food bills tend to be the same.

If you're out for just drinks, just refuse when anyone offers you one and then get your own. You won't end up in a round if you get your own drinks.

I agree with other posters that it's worth keeping track and then when the bill stoves just say 'mines X so here's Y'.
Only cheeky tickets would have an issue with someone doing that (usually the types who benefit from Bill splitting). It's not like you're quibbling down to the penny, which does look cheap.

I went for food with people who got wine for the table and seemed to this that should be split 'because everyone else had drinks'. I pointed out i had bought mine and DH's drinks at the bar earlier separately and it wasn't reasonable to expect everyone to cover their wine. One of them sulked over it so now I know the score with them. Everyone else felt it was fair to split the wine between those who had it.

As a previous poster has said I must be lucky with my friends and colleagues as the drinkers always insist non drinkers pay less

In terms of food we tend to split it as it evens out in the end if you all go out regularly! I’m a vegetarian and haven’t noticed a massive difference in the price of meals tbh

@bigchris It's a grad job so the new joiners and people who have been there for a couple of years have informal social events (I.e. not paid for by the workplace)