Potty training, it gets better right?

[WoogleCone]

Hi everyone, not sure what I'm looking for here - just reassurance I guess! (Please!)

DD is 3.5, speech delayed (can repeat plenty, responds to instructions and retains information but we don't have conversations and she doesn't engage in pretend play particularly) no diagnoses and there wont be any until at least the end of the year if any at all. I'm not convinced she's fully ready but I daren't leave it any longer.

We've only been doing it 5 days so not very long but everywhere I look for advice all it says is 'do this in 3 days, potty training is so easy, follow these steps for a trained child over the weekend!'.

She knows what the potty is, has been pooping on it for quite some time (only because we put her on it though when she shows her signs - she finds it difficult and does mammoth sized shits so needs help to get it out).
We've put her in knickers and are basically watching her to try and catch the wees and explain to her that wee wee goes in the potty, if we manage to get one in there we take it upstairs say bye bye to it down the toilet, flush and wash hands.
We ask her periodically (which she always says no to) and we practise for a minute or two every so often when we think she would need a wee (shortly after a drink etc).
It doesn't seem to be sinking in and I don't know if it's because she'd rather carry on with what's she's doing, if she doesn't make the connection between the feeling and the going or what.

Doesn't help I'm 40+3 today! DH is being amazing and taking the lead but we've no idea if we're getting somewhere or just creating more laundry.

Anyone had success with a slightly older child? Ie read plenty of threads on here but most are the success stories of people doing it before their kid is 2.5!

Personally, I would wait. she doesn't sound ready and so it will be easier to try when she is older x

It feels like it's never going to happen. But it does. My DD was younger than yours, but it felt like you describe. You are succeeding because you are teaching her what should happen to a wee. She will get it. Don't worry if it's slower than the advice and don't worry if you have to go back to pull ups briefly. It will work, don't give up.

It sounds like you are doing fine :)
I wouldn't leave it 'til she's ready' as some children can be remarkably stubborn and get more so with age.
My DS2 was very similar... very speech delayed and with motor delays and no play skills. (Later diagnosed with ASD and learning disabilities..has done really well and never stops talking now!) It took a bit longer than with my other children but we got there in the end.
Personally I think that pants and no pull ups in the day ever are the way to go.. she WILL crack it eventually :) just have lots of spare clothes and keep it relaxed.

Honestly my dd2 who had no extra needs whatsoever, must have wet herself in every place possible... but she got there in the end, it just took a while!

Thank you! That's very reassuring!

I'm carrying around lots of spare pants and towels, were trying to be brave and go out as we would normally so perhaps I just need to relax a bit more.

Definitely going to keep it to knickers, I think swapping and changing to pullups will confuse her, I'm hoping the relentless changing will bore her more than me so she cottons on to the potty idea a bit more!

Thank you !!!

I would leave it, especially with a new baby due.

It's not uncommon for older children to revert once a new sibling comes along, and potty training can be part of this. Happened to a friend who wishes now she'd waited.

I think i’d wait for a little seeing as you’re about to welcome another little one into the family.
My DS2 has delayed speech and I waited until he was about 3.5 (I was terrified he’d be going to school in nappies as he just wasn’t showing any signs he was ready; nursery staff agreed on this). I read “Oh Crap! Potty Training” and cannot rate it enough!! Even the staff at his nursery wanted to read it as they were so surprised that he trained!! Once I got past the very American directness, and the fact that she terrified me that i’d “left it so late” meant that I was going to have mega problems (amazingly he/we didn’t). Her approach was brilliant and she’s got chapters of troubleshooting to refer back to if needed. But basically the idea that you have 3 blocks to get through.

1. is basically naked from the waist down block (day/days) so they can ‘get’ I peed, I am peeing, I need to pee/poo
2. once they’ve mastered that one, next is clothes on, but no pants as this can feel too much like a nappy and keeps accidents too contained. nb keep them commando for the next two weeks. Practice trips out and different loos. Don’t put them in a nappy/pull up (just in case) as it is basically telling them you don’t trust them.
3. fully clothed and wearing pants. I’ve been recommending this book to anyone about to potty training. Good luck.

I think it’s too stressful (esp for a speech delayed child) to go from nappies to prompting to wee. It’s a lot of processes. Knowing when you need to go. Knowing at the right time. Communicating this effectively.
If she can wee on demand, take her every 30-40 mins (if she can’t hold for that then she’s probably not ready yet). Then stretch that time slowly. Once she is reliably dry and going every 90 mins or so then slowly back off from the prompting. The sensation of pooing is easier to communicate but many often have a slight fear of pooing to start with.