Has anyone ever taken in a lodger? Looking for advice/ tips

[dingdang]

I'm thinking to offer my spare room up for rent and was wondering if the wise ones of mumsnet have any tips. I live with my five year old who is with her dad every other weekend and a couple of nights during the week. I've never let a room out before so no idea, do I need to arrange a tenancy style agreement? What about bills - are those usually included in the overall rent? Would appreciate anyone's experience or advice?

Ok the number one question who need to be asking concerns your five year old daughter

In this scenario i would want them DBS checked and female

You can't get a DBS check for a lodger. What you need is someone who can provide a reference from their previous tenant. You don't need a tenancy agreement but a written contract of expectations would be useful if you've never done this before. Rent should cover everything including bills.

I’ve never taken in a lodger but I was one until a couple of years ago.

There was a contract, all bills were included, I provided references from work and my previous landlord as well as proof of salary, and it was clear before I moved in that the lounge was off limits.

That was absolutely fine with me since I had a decent sized room with a table & TV, and preferred my own space. That’s just how it was for us though - you might prefer a lodger who’s more sociable. I would say it’s crucial to get that clearly agreed at the start, though.

However, you are able to request a basic disclosure check on an individual through Disclosure Scotland. You don't need to be a resident in Scotland to do this - anywhere in the UK will work. The current fee is £25.
This isn’t a CRB check, but will disclose any unspent convictions. A basic disclosure certificate either contains information about every conviction of an applicant or states that there is no such conviction. The process requires 3 forms of identification and can be done online. If you require a prospective lodger to go through the basic disclosure check process you should offer to pay for the information.

You could go for someone who has a DBS check for their job if you wanted to make sure.

I had lodgers for 6 months after my ex left and I needed to cover my mortgage until the house sold.

I had a female nurse and lady who was working at our local university. Because I had a third floor they were self contained and shared a bathroom. They used the kitchen but not the lounge.

I drew up a list/contract of expectations/rules. My 2 boys were 12 and 14 so a lot older. It was a means to an end at the time and got me out of a tricky spot. I would certainly do it again if I needed to.

I also asked them for a security deposit which I returned when they left. I was getting £600 a month for 2 furnished rooms and I advertised through SpareRoom.co.uk

Do you have balls of steel?

I ask because if you're the sort of person who doesn't have it in them to throw somebody out on the street at a moment's notice, it is very possible you will end up feeling you're hostage to an unexploded bomb.

I obviously don't. One month became 18, rent was regularly missed (as asking for it would result in howling meltdowns about how awful their life was, interspersed with chatty conversations of how violence was funny and wails of hate crime for being LGBTQ+ despite only ever fucking random men via Tinder whilst appearing on TV shows and press as a trans male or lesbian, whatever the producers wanted ) and it took 3 months to get the stench out the room after they finally fucked off because it was too hard to use the washing machine and tumble drier when dirty clothes could be shoved in a black bag and new ones bought.

Oh, and finding randoms invited back into my house when walking downstairs at 7am where they had decided to fuck down there was not part of any agreement, but still happened a couple of time.

Oh, and they jacked in their secure job after 2 payments.

I ask because if you're the sort of person who doesn't have it in them to throw somebody out on the street at a moment's notice, it is very possible you will end up feeling you're hostage to an unexploded bomb.

This!

I feel like we actually had the same lodgers as Mitzi :-)

It might also be worth doing an advanced search on lodger to see recent threads.

Most people are used to house shares, these days, which is very different. You need to make it clear , in writing what you expect and which parts of the house they can use at what time.

Yep, I have had lodgers. Bearing in mind your young son, I would point out that the female lodger could have a boyfriend and she might want to have him over to stay. You can check out a lodger but not the bf.
You could state no boyfriend to stay, though.

I used to rent two rooms, from when DS was 18 months to 4.5 years. It was almost entirely a positive experience - bar one tenant who we had to ask to leave as we didn't get on.

I have lots of tips...

Firstly, MNers are an unusually antisocial lot and you'll get loads of people telling you, this is the worst idea ever. But the reality is, loads of people rent to lodgers and have a good experience doing it. If you're antisocial and hate having house guests, a lodger is probably not for you. But otherwise, it's a perfectly reasonable way to make some extra money. I've also made two close friends and got to know some other lovely people who I'm still in contact with.

DP didn't see anything wrong with having a lodger, as his grandparents had always rented out half their house when he was a kid.

Then he found out after our Skanky Lodger finally went that they had stopped doing it, not because they didn't need the money, but because they'd started to find people weren't paying the rent on time, partly because fewer lodgers had secure jobs and were relying upon benefits to pay it - the final straw, though, was when one committed suicide in their bedroom.

1. it was clear before I moved in that the lounge was off limits.

That was absolutely fine with me since I had a decent sized room with a table & TV, and preferred my own space. That’s just how it was for us though - you might prefer a lodger who’s more sociable. I would say it’s crucial to get that clearly agreed at the start, though.

That's really sound advice. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Personally I'd hate the idea of someone living in my house but hiding away in their bedroom, so we made it clear to our lodgers that they were more than welcome to use the living space as their own, and join us for meals if they wanted to. We're sociable people and looked for people we thought we'd get on with.

This suited us. It may not suit you. Have a think about what would suit you, and be really clear about it.

1. Along the same lines, think about how you live in general and be really up front when interviewing lodgers.

e.g. are you tidy or messy? If you're inviting your lodger to share your living space, will you expect them to share housework with you? A mismatch in levels of cleanliness can be a massive source of tension. Whether you're a neat freak / messy / in between, be honest about this and try to find a lodger who'll be happy with your normal.

1. We rented to mature students. This worked really well for us. (It helped having a uni nearby!)

I'd recommend renting to mature students because:

• they have a clear purpose for being there
• the students we lived with were smart, interesting people
• they were never planning to stay forever. So if we didn't get on brilliantly, that was OK as they'd be moving on anyway

Wow thanks to all for messages. I'm thinking that student would be ideal, or perhaps a Monday to Thursday lodger (I live in London so reckon there may be demand for that kind of thing). Theres also a possibility to take in teenagers who come to London for language school and the company is always advertising for short term lets of seven days or so to accommodate them.

I'm pretty sociable, but only ever had flatshares in the past, but not for the last 15 years or so. Flat share is different from lodger I guess, and I was trying to figure out what would make it work better for me.

Lots to think about. Thanks for all comments and advice.

Probably best to do a bit of research on legal rights and obligations; lodgers are excluded occupiers in legal terms, not tenants.

I've got a lodger in at the moment. I actually quite enjoy having the company and someone to chat to. I specifically advertised for a social sort of person, as I find the sort who hides away in their room to be dreadfully awkward.

I've got a dog in my home; like a 5 year old, I was aware that this would attract some people and put others off. I was very upfront in the ad and said you needed to like dogs to live here. I made sure they met DDog on the viewing and watched how they responded to him putting his front paws on their thigh and presenting them with a slobbery ball for a game of fetch; anyone who wasn't keen to play fetch got rejected. Likewise I'd suggest that you take a similar approach with your 5 year old - they meet her as part of the interview, and you watch how they interact with her.

I found someone who loves dogs and had worked as a dog walker in the past, but wasn't in a position to have one of her own, which works well. You might find someone who loves children but hasn't yet settled down or found Mr Right.

1. We didn't ask for a breakages deposit, nor did we have a fixed term contract. Instead, we asked for an extra month's rent in the first month, which we would use as their last month's rent. So, as soon as they gave a month's notice, they didn't have to pay the last month.

This suited us and them well. It meant no one left us in the lurch (which was what I was worried about) because if they just up and moved, we had the rent covered. It also helped the student lodgers as they often didn't know, when they started a school year, exactly when they'd be leaving.

We agreed that we'd deal with any breakages as we went, but there were none, thankfully!

Most people are fine but personally I wouldn’t consider a lodger in the house with a child/children.
Do you have any sixth form colleges nearby, that have international students? They usually need hosts, much less hassle than an adult lodger (the colleges draw up pretty strict behaviour contracts with them/the host).

1. Think carefully before you do any kind of written contract. We didn't. Lodgers have very few rights. It's a very insecure way to live (for them). As their landlord, you can just turn round and say - actually, I want you to move out next week, because they're living with you in your home. For them, it's not like renting a flat or room in a shared house, where people have more rights as tenants.

So, giving them a contract may be putting yourself in a worse position that you would be otherwise. Worth checking the legal side of this.

1. We had lodgers with a child in the house and it was a great experience for him. Our society has become so focused on safeguarding we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater, in my opinion.

Yes, safeguarding is essential and it's great we're more aware of how we can keep our children safe.

But - meeting and getting to know new people - especially people with difference experiences from yourself - is an enriching experience.

Two of our lodgers have become close friends and my DCs call them both aunty. They're a wonderful presence in our lives. Other lodgers who we didn't form longterm friendships with, nevertheless played with and spoke to DS and were a positive influence in his life. One brought a rabbit with her, whom he adored! (It was like having a pet only I didn't have to do any of the work, bonus!)

We only let people move in who were good with kids.

However, especially because we were moving effective strangers into our house, with a child, I was extra vigilant about checking them out. Do ask for a reference, of course, but don't only rely on that.

I thoroughly vetted potential lodgers by checking out their social media profiles and by Googling them, and trying to get an idea of what they're like as a person.

1. Remember, you're not interviewing for a job (a situation in which you need to be fair and not let your prejudices inform your decision). You are looking for someone to share your home. Do be prejudiced! Rule out people who you think you won't get on with, for any reason. And trust your gut if it says they're not right for you.

We ruled out one woman because I found her name online on a racist petition, and another because it turned out she was a happy clappy christian who liked listening to religious music at home. She didn't volunteer this info at first - I googled her name and found her name on a forum, where she was telling her fellow church members how god had called her to travel to the UK to learn rehabilitation science so as to help people, so I asked her about it. She seemed a lovely woman. But just not right for us.

YY, flatshare is different to lodger. I prefer it (as the landlord) as the power dynamic is clear. It's your house, what you say goes!