To marry or not to marry...

[rosetonightplease]

I have two choices either a registrar's office wedding with no guests (but baby born within wedlock) or wait and have a "big" wedding with just my side of the family (they live overseas and I haven't had a big wedding before whereas he has).
My first wedding was like I could have in the next couple of months and I found that to be utterly depressing and one of the saddest days of my life BUT I'd like to be married before baby is here. I wish I could do it all by post! I know it makes not legal difference apart from re-registering the birth and I can have a party in a few years (when we can save for tickets for 7 transatlantic tickets...)

Registry office wedding now with a couple of friends and a nice dinner afterwards so not nothing at all, than a big wedding reception/welcome baby party with everyone and your family when baby is a couple of months old? Could that be an option?

Are you excited about marrying this man? It isn't coming across in your post. If I was in love with someone, he wanted to marry me, and we preferred to be married before the baby came, then I know what I'd be doing I'd be arranging a small, but joyous day with close friends. Your family might not be nearby, but you both have friends, right? A wedding is only a depressing day if that's what you think of it.

We actually have no local friends! Not any that live nearby anyways, which is part of the problem. I doubt any would travel this way (8 he drive).

Did you live together somewhere before? 8 hours away where your friends are located? How about a weekend away there and a small wedding there with a few friends to celebrate? Not as expensive as transatlantic flights, but still a celebration.

No, we met where we live but neither of us are the "social" type. He's happier than me in that regard I do get serious periods of depression about not having any friends a much as I've tried. The couple of friends that could potentially go (on my end) live in London his live in East Anglia.

Already posted on your other thread

Then if you don't have a big circle of friends and aren't terribly social as a couple anyway, then a big wedding doesn't make much sense, does it?
Just marry him and concentrate on the marriage and planning for the baby. Lots of good reasons to celebrate with others in future - a christening perhaps, depending on religion, child's birthdays.
You sound a bit 'meh' about getting married though.

Registry. If I had the choice I’d prefer my child to be born in wedlocl

@DianaT1969 will it would in my home country! I only have my mom around at big events so it's not like well have more opportunities in the future. The wedding (whenever it happens) will be my only chance of celebrating with friends and family.

Registry office now (get a couple of local Mumsneter's or locals as witnesses) then big party once baby is born with a blessing. I worked at a job centre years ago and a couple popped in and wanted 2 people to act as witnesses for their wedding an hour later, I couldn't go because we were understaffed but 2 customers obliged. I've seen posts on here organising local MN users to be witnesses too.