Am I parenting right? Will I know naturally when to discipline etc?

[Dontforgettoscreamatthebear]

DS is only 14 months so parenting is really just having fun and playing.

Boundaries are simple ie no taking things off tops of tables or cupboards etc, his toys are in his toy bag and that's ok. I understand he doesn't have impulse control yet but he does generally stop when I say no.

If we remove a dangerous item he has got, or do something he'd prefer not to he does have a mini tantrum (the plank!) which I think is completely normal at his age. We just get on with it and it passes.

I haven't taught him not to throw food off the high chair, I just ignore it at the moment, as he does eat plenty and a variety so I'm really happy with mealtimes but I realised other parents are teaching their one year olds not to do this.

It made me wonder if I'll know what to do and when etc? Does this come naturally? I have read "How to talk" and very much care about parenting well but worry I'll be a bit slow picking up on what I need to do and it will be bad for DS

Try to minimise opportunities for saying no. So if he can reach stuff that is a no-no, move them. Then you shan't be in the draining cycle of no no no.

Divert and distract, say steady up.

That's it really.

I think you'll constantly evolve with him as his behaviour changes so will your parenting. Your boundaries will shape as he grows.

I thought when DS1 was young that I'd just have a set of rules and the DC would obey them. Now he's a teen I realise that I've been learning for his whole 13 years that some battles are for fighting, some aren't, and some are more important than others.

The most important thing for us as a family is the explanation of why they can't do x, y and z (as they got older, not so much as babies). Teaching them about the natural consequences of their choices (if you throw that toy when you're cross, what will happen?) how others feel, those things have helped the DC learn to manage their own behaviours without us ever really using arbitrary punishments. Both DC are very emotionally savvy in that they can identify why they're doing x, y and z, and I think it's because we've always tried to help them by saying "you look like you're frustrated/angry/upset" or "I can see you're x, y or z" and recognising emotions. That helps long-term with behaviour and boundaries more than anything else I've learned.

If all the other kids the same age have stopped doing something, eg throwing food or snatching, then it is probably an indication that it is something you need to work on too. So dropping food on the floor is fine at 14mnths, not fine at 5 years.

Sounds like you're doing OK so far.

We're a week or so off 18 months, and I've just noticed my baby is starting to definitely become a toddler. I can see him give me the side eye before he does something that he now knows that he shouldn't do!

It sort of took me by surprise, as obviously up until now, I've understood he doesn't really exercise control of his actions and emotions. But that side eye 😂

Sounds like you're doing the right things. Definitely set up your environment to make it so that he can pretty much do as much as he wants without causing you to say no. Otherwise, I think you'll notice when it tips over to a place where you have to start thinking more carefully about rules and boundaries.