Anyone had a second child 7 years after first?!

[magic8ball2]

I have one dc. I've been very happy about this for 7 years but I'm now thinking about trying for another

Is this madness? Age gap will be large it will be like having 2 onlies my only may hate the change. I've forgotten about nappies and broken sleep but I would like another child

Interested to hear from anyone else who has done this. How did the dynamic change? What were the positives and negatives

I had 11 years between my two! Really enjoy it, eldest didn't need immediate attention in the way younger kids do, and there's no jealousy there. A teenager and a tantruming toddler though....

I don’t have kids but my only sibling is 6 and a bit years younger than me. It was hard because we had such different needs and his always came first because ‘he’s only little’ etc. As I got older he was SO ANNOYING because he was doing normal kid things like going into my room and making a mess while playing with my things but I wanted privacy.

Then I moved out when he was 14, just as we were able to go out and do things together. We’re now 29/22 and we get on really well but I live across the country with DH so I don’t see him often. I actually feel like I’m from a different generation and don’t understand his slang and stuff

I’m sure there are a million people who will tell you that it worked well for their families though! I suppose you don’t know how anything in life will turn out.

We have 2 DDs 6.5 years apart. It's hard work with different needs but they get along really well and we are glad we had DD2. They love each other a lot and the age gap means less fights/competing and more easy going sibling relationship. I think there are pros and cons to both. Only with I'd had them both sooner -meaning when I was younger. Age gap is very doable!

I’ve got 2 DS’s of 19 and 13. It has been great for all concerned, boys get on well and I was way more chilled out as a parent second time around. Eldest loved having a baby brother and helped me with lots, keeping youngest entertained. Once eldest turned 14, I could leave him to babysit for an hour or 2 while I did food shopping etc. Younger one has grown up a lot quicker than my first though but I suppose that’s the same with most second children. Go for it 😃

This is the typical age gap in my family - most of my cousins are 6/7 years apart, my brother and I are 11 years apart. It's absolutely fine. My family are horrified I'm having my second only 2 years after the first - they think it's way too soon!

Thanks for sharing. Helpful to have perspectives

7.5 year gap here. Very happy we had a second and it's on the whole lovely. Does have it's moments though they love each other for the most part but my goodness the fighting which I didn't expect with such a gap. Only negative is my relationship with DS changed for the worse when DD came along. Think he secretly resented not being the sole apple of my eye anymore and that's when his behavioural issues started. Depends on the kids character though.

Of course going back to sleepless night and nappies were a shock to the system after getting past all that. That aside I'd say go for it, it completed our family in the most lovely way

There is 6 years between my middle brother and me and 9 years between me and my eldest brother. As a child I was more or less an ‘only’ child in that my DBs didn’t play with me. Oldest DB was like a mini father in that I crept into his bed and he would tell me stories each morning. He taught me to play the piano and was very ‘paternal’.

As adults I am so close to my middle DB. He’s like a best friend and we have the same sense of humour, outlook on life etc. I feel like we are the same age really and the difference makes no difference whatsoever as it were. Same with oldest DB. We are less close as adults then we were as children but we would be there for each other whatever. Not sure what it was like for my parents and they’re not here to ask.

Yes, me! My DD was 7 and a half when my DS was born a year ago. She had her moments of being jealous but now she is quite proud and protective of him, and loves the ‘Babba Chops’ (her nickname for him!) very much.

I would say the pros outweigh the cons. The older child is easier to leave unattended to be self sufficient a bit more, plus they don’t wake up lots in the night like a toddler and they can help you with the baby quite a bit.

I’d say go for it!

My friends have daughters 9 years apart and they seem very happy with it! The girls get along great, the older can babysit the younger (with some persuasion - she is 17 now). Seems to be working out just fine!

8 years between mine. Ds is 16 and dd is 8. It is hard work when younger as hard finding things to do that they both liked etc but now they're older it's getting easier.

There is 8 years between me and my brother and now we're adults we hardly notice.

My aunts children are 19 years apart

They are surprisingly quite close

Yes; we had a happy surprise. He's 16 months now and he and his 8 year old sister love each other soo much. DH and I are knackered as in early 40s and he never stops but he's so much fun and has brought so much joy into our lives, we feel very lucky to have them both.

I have a ten and seven yr age gap. So my oldest two are three yrs apart. The baby is now one and the older two are 8 and 11.
It's fantastic. They adore the baby and have been helpful since I was pregnant. Go for it.

I have 6.5 year gap and it’s great. They get on so well. Only difficulty is sometimes finding things that they both want to do on weekends etc. But overall - I wouldn’t change it.

Yup my baby is due 2 weeks before my sons 8th birthday. He is so excited! I'm very glad there such a age gap as he so mature and not I secure. He's protective and loving over baby in my belly. I'm loving it

Mine are almost ten years apart. It was a pain when trying to have days out, toddler couldn't do things teen did and teen wasn't interested in toddler things, so to find something thru would both enjoy was challenging.

They're 19 and 29 now and really close

Yes I'm worried about finding activities both can do with age gap and that dh and I will have to spend lots of time apart

I had this age gap and I loved it. I was able to give newborn dd2 the same attention that pfb had been given as she was school age. Activities and days out are actually easier than with two close in age that you have to watch like a hawk as there is only one kamikaze toddler to watch. Dd1 enjoyed the novelty of playing with and entertaining dd2, and this continued until she was about 13. Now aged 21 and14 they are incredibly close.

I think times have changed and it’s becoming more common now to have larger gaps due to relationships breaking down, parents meeting a new partner and having children with them.
My sisters were 9 and 7 years older than me and that was unusual in the 60s. Fine when we were little but lonely and boring by the time I was about 9 and they were off doing their own thing, plus they got married in their early 20s which was the norm back then. It left me trailing around after parents who seemed old and dull even though they must have only been 50ish. I actually wish they’d had another child a year or two after me to keep me company.

And we sisters aren’t really close now.

I had 19mths between 1 and 2 but then 7yrs between 2 and 3. It's a brilliant age gap.