My MIL and I don’t have a very good relationship. In a nutshell she’s very very controlling to the point of what I wear, and when we used to live with them she used to time my showers (even though we paid the bills and there were other bathrooms etc), what time my husband and I went to bed, used to go through all my stuff when I was at work just to give a few examples.
The thing is she has always slagged me off to everyone on her side of the family and to her friends. Things like we didn’t pay them a penny when we lived with them (that’s a lie, we had a monthly standing order going to their account and bills), anything my husband did that she didn’t like (eg when we moved out to buy our own house) I would be blamed that I had made him do it, that I was controlling him etc, that I wasn’t a nice person,taking her son away from her etc.
The result is no one from her side of the family talk to me, if I say hello they’ll ignore it, when they call my husband they’ll ask how he is and how our kids are and not even mention me.
At first I used to try and comply with her demands in a desperate bid to get her to like me. However, no matter what I do she continues to slate me behind my back and to my husband.
I’m exhausted with trying to live my life to not upset her or rock the boat; especially now she’s using my kids to undermine me and talking through them to make digs at me.
How do I stop caring what they think of me? Unfortunately, in my culture it’s almost seen as the daughter in laws duty to serve and appease the MIL and husband’s family.
For my own sanity I need to get to a point where I don’t care what they say/think as it’s having a serious impact on my mental health.