I knew there was something different about DS when he was a very grumpy and high maintenance baby. Wanted to sit up in his buggy when under 6 months old and facing forwards, instead of towards me. Didn't tolerate baby/ toddler groups. Sat early, had little interest in crawling or rolling until quite late, walking (or more correctly running) at 18months. Normalish/a bit slow word development, good pointing. Horrendous, clingy sleeper. Still sleeps with lights on.
Around 3-4 years old, I grew more certain. He was avoidant of social interaction with other children. When he did interact, he would behave in an overexcited way and annoy them. He tired of the interaction quickly, and even left his own guests at his birthday party, to go to his bed, as he "needed a nap". Alternatively he would want them to do exactly what he wanted to do, or leave. He would avoid places or even ask us to speed up or run away if he caught sight of other children.
Fussy with food/textures. Very careful and fearful of physical play, such as climbing and going down slides (coordination still below peers). Defeatist and absolute (black and white) thinking. Taught himself to read fluently at 3 (hyperlexic). Not interested in toys and could not play on his own. Almost no pretend play.
Difficulties drawing and writing (still hates it due to coordination issues). Sleep problems from the start. Clingy and anxious. Mature and a bit monotonous speech, few facial expressions. Intense interest in books, technology and computers, namely Minecraft, Scratch and now Roblox (programming).
Sensory issues with smells and clothes. Will not fasten up trousers, no matter now loose, so has to hoik them up all the time. Sensitive to any slighths (imagined and real) and to any physical play.
Meltdown has occurred when he has uncharacteristically engaged in fast paced play (e.g. chase, which he hates and gets anxious) with other children and he then hurts himself.
Has good eye contact, but wants to mainly ask questions about what he is interested in. Monosyllabic or "dunno"/"don't remember" answers to any questions about school.
Would have sat in his buggy forever, but I ousted him just before P1.
Often anxious and defeatist at school, doesn't like group work. Occasionally has refused to go, particularly after breaks. At 9 he's is now too big to be dragged in by force, so I'm scared that he will one day just decide not to go back, as I can't home school.
Hates special days, such as dress down or fancy dress days at school. Always insists on wearing uniform. Hates Halloween. Does not want birthday parties of any kind, now, own or others'. Rarely gets asked, anyway.
But he is very loving, kind, clever, funny (in an unconventional way) and great at computing. He always tries his best, though sometimes feels overwhelmed. He got his diagnosis just a few months ago, after a couple of years of moving towards it. Feels happy that he now knows he is not stupid, just different. Happy to tell everyone at school, and they have nearly all been great about it.
In a nutshell, lots of little pieces of the puzzle built a picture that got him the diagnosis in the end. You'll know it in your gut, before that.