Touchy feely colleague wwyd?

[Isleepinahedgefund]

We have a new female colleague in the team. She seems to have taken a shine to one of the men and keeps touching him. This has included:

Poking the back of his neck whilst standing behind him
Putting her hands round his neck (as if to strangle)
Tickling him

I can see he is visibly uncomfortable with it, he flinches when she does it. The other day he actually got up and ran away from her, saying he didn't like being touched - she followed him and kind of cornered him.

She isn't "just touchy feely", she doesn't do it to anyone else, she has friends in the office that she doesn't hug/touch etc. She's definitely singled him out.

Wwyd? I've never come across something like this before. I'm not her manager but she is subordinate to me, and he is my superior. I don't know either of them particularly well. It's definitely not ok - and If it was a man doing it to a woman there would be an uproar,

I love when people say ‘if a man did this to a woman there would be uproar’ because there is so much evidence that that is not true and men often get away with their behaviour, even when things reach a courtroom!

She shouldn’t be touching him, I hate people always touching people when they don’t like it, if he is senior to you and you are senior to her, I’m not sure what you can do that will work as he has already said he doesn’t like it and she hasn’t listened but you could ‘have a word’ and say it makes everyone uncomfortable because he has said it makes him uncomfortable/he doesn’t like it.

I’m not sure it’ll change anything because a new colleague behaving in that way to a superior colleague tells me they’re completely bonkers! It’s not normal behaviour at all.

Report it. I worked for a company and a bloke would keep pinching & Slapping few women on the bum, and walking past and trying to hold women's hands. Strange behaviour, and women were clearly uncomfortable. My company had an annonymous hotline to call. I called, explained, gave names, next 3 days loads of women were interviewed about this colleague (I know because I was pulled into office about it too) while this was going on, he was temp suspended for unforseen circumstances. Or that's what management said to us. 3 years down the line he never returned

I would speak to him first. Ask him if he wants you to step in and say something either to her or go with him to your manager.

At my last job there was a man like that and lots of us complained, even those of us who weren't targeted by him. He was quietly removed from the office too.

Do you think it's worth me telling him I've noticed what she's doing and how uncomfortable it makes him? Not that I or anyone else could have missed it tbh, she's very blatant! She will also sit so close to him that she is practically on his knee- he has no escape as he sits by the wall and she traps him.

There is an advert for sexual harassment on tv/radio in Ireland at the moment and what you describe is featured - a woman touching a male staff member, massaging his shoulders. You're male colleague should feel able to tell her to stop touching him, and if he's not comfortable saying it then maybe she needs someone else to call her out on it. It's totally inappropriate.