A question for POC about racist language

[VforVienetta]

I don’t know quite how to phrase this, but basically, how do you want white people to deal with it when other white people use racist language?
A neighbour said something yesterday and I called him on it, but because he’s elderly/a neighbour/i was on my own, etc, i didn’t speak as plainly as i would have liked, and instead said things like it was ‘unkind’. Tbh i haven’t run into such blatant racism for years so was a bit taken aback, and didn’t know how to deal with it.
I got the impression that he was left thinking I was a snowflake bleeding heart liberal, whereas I know I left thinking he was an absolute arsehole.

It depends what was said and how it was said.

Was it one of those phrases thats now out of vogue but isnt meant to be offensive eg 'coloured' ?

Or was he on a rant about N's or P's ?

"Good lord! i hadn't pegged you for a racist." And cut ties. I've done it before and i'll do it again, don't care if that leaves bad feelings.

I was on my way back from the polling booth and we had a brief chat on the pavement, the exact phrase was “The LibDems want to let all the wogs in”. He then went on about how he can say whatever he likes, that was how he was brought up, free speech etc. He also said his grandchildren didn’t like the was he spoke about people and so didn’t come to his house anymore, but he gives them lots of more every year so that’s ok.

That’s a good one elQuinto.
It’s always good to have a stock phrase for awkward situations, i’m slowly gathering an arsenal.

Typo - lots of money that meant to say.
Also omitted a swearword from what he said.
Can't type today it would seem.

I don't like the term person of colour for a start. I thought we realised "coloured people" was racist decades ago. Now suddenly people think it's ok because we've changed the order of the words a little bit?

Free speech doesn't give anyone a licence to be rude or racist.
Neither does old age. This guy evidently knows what he is saying is wrong.

Nuno what would you suggest instead please? It’d need to cover a broad range of ethnicities, as i wasn’t just asking black people, or Asian people. AFAIK person of colour was a phrase that started in the black community which is why it’s generally accepted as polite, whereas ‘coloured’ was a term used by white people. Do correct me if I’m wrong tho!

@NunoGoncalves It is a perfectly acceptable phrasw, as is BAME if you're talking in general, or Black or Asian or ethnic minority if you're talking about a specific person.

FWIW I think you did okay when put on the spot - you said something instead of just looking pained and silent.

That's the worst thing. When some fucker comes out with racist shit and everybody looks po faced but nobody says anything. It only takes one person to speak up to shatter the cosy illusion for the racist that everyone agrees with them really.

As for the free speech argument, yes that old one. Free speech is one thing, being a disgusting human being is another and racial abuse is actually illegal as it's considered unacceptable in civilised society. Make them feel isolated, emphasise the majority disagrees (even if you feel a bit uncertain about that yourself!) - the current political climate gives them strength, challenging them (even in a mild way or whatever you can manage at the time!) undercuts that and introduces a bit of doubt for them, so they may keep their filth to themselves next time.

"I don't allow anyone to speak like that/use that language in front of my child" is another good phrase to keep in hand.

I'm not Black, but from my own point of view I deal with people using old fashioned terms (( I e coloured etc )) by ignoring. But maybe correcting with my own language.

Outright racism I'll literally turny back mid sentence and walk away. I dont engage with people like that. And sadly I've had to do it a few times and cut off good friends.

To me bigotry isn't up for debate.

Like others have said, having someone else speak up is great and some of these one-liners are great for those often stressful for everyone else situations. It's hard to describe how being the only one surrounded by po-faced White Brits who can't bring themselves to say anything feels for me and the relief of someone else doing it than me being the obvious one.

In regards to POC, POC is a generally accepted term to some and very much not to others. Some due to 'colour' harking to phrases like 'coloured people' and finding some people still viewing if one is fine then the other should be, others - due to it's origins as an intentionally chosen term for solidarity with other people of marginalized ethnicities - feel that applying it to everyone based on how they look erases that choice and symbol, others dislike it because it's an American term and people feel it's putting their views of race onto everyone, and to others because they feel it erases the political history of particular groups and nations and gives White people in power the ability to decide if we 'look' of colour enough to classify since it focuses on that, and many other reasons.

No term for everyone in so many different groups is going to be perfect. How accepted it is or not doesn't mean the people the term is applied to can't have an opinion against the general norm. I'm don't particularly care for or against it, I don't tend to apply it to myself, but I get others do. BAME as a shorthand or marginalized ethnicities or underrepresented ethnicities when discussing media, education, politics or things like that to focus on something other than my skin colour works better for me, personally.