Wish I hadn't become a mum

[barelywithit]

Nc as too ashamed to be found out

No one to talk to in real life without feeling judged

I just wish I'd not become a mum. I can't really expand on that, I just don't enjoy it . I dread days that aren't nursery days.

He's not a good sleeper and after 3 years of only having a few "sleep throughs" I feel like I'm doing a job against my will

I just want out

My son will never know this. I'm an amazing actress. Sometimes though, like today, I just want to go back to my old life

I don't even expect replies, I just needed to get this out of my brain and onto paper

Don't make the mistake of having another one, will you? The second one doesn't just double the workload. It multiplies it at least three times. Your one dc will soon get bigger and more independent. It'll be fine. Just hang in there.

Nothing useful to add but totally agree it's shit. I want my old life back. I'm so done with the constant demands, and the mental and physical load.

I could have written this.
But mines only 4 months old. And not an easy one.
I hate not having anything for me in my life now. DP works a lot as he’s a contractor and we need the money. I might as well be a single parent in a rural area.
No family around and little one screams hysterically if she has to be held by someone other than me.

I get the “What the hell have I done”
Feeling a lot.

Thanks again , wish I could meet up with one of you for a cuppa!

I'm going to just have dig deep and get on with it. No other option
X

I think although it doesn't really help on a day by day basis it does ease the mental load and the guilt a bit to realise that many parents feel the same way and it doesn't actually mean that you're a terrible mum or that you don't live your kids.

God I remember the 'what have done' feeling. Having children really wasnt what I expected, and honestly have not enjoyed most of it. I feel 100% the only person in my circle to think it. It's a very lonely feeling. However, time marches on and as each year passes and development increases I find myself almost enjoying DC since they got to 8. Outwardly youd never know I've felt this way and I hope to God I've hid it from DC. If anything, I've over compensated as they are materially spoilt. They are confident, balanced and well adjusted. And alive!
My best idea was to stop at 1. I've not regretted that.

On do you work? Working full time saved me x

I don't work no, I'm very fortunate that I don't have too financially but I'm now starting to apply for work as I feel that might help

We have no intention on having anymore. We didn't want any children I'm afraid to say.....our so was a complete surprise due to a contraception failure.........

Obviously no one will ever know that inc our son.

X

I didn't have time work but I went back when DS1 was four months old. It saved my sanity. Even went on to have another. They're teens now and nothing has ever been as hard as those first couple of years.

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