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Original poster

Feeling awful about being lied to

9 replies

Borelis · 23/05/2019 19:43

Ok met this guy online a few weeks ago and seemed to go really well.. he has quite a bit of "baggage" and issues which I know he feels fairly insecure about and thinks I'm "above his level in every way".

In most regards he has been very honest admitting a lot of negative things about him except for two things (that I know of by now):

He had a pic of him online (only 1) when we started speaking and in that, he looks hugely better than in reality - I casually asked him in conversation when that pic was taken before we met and he said "ermm I think a year ago"... when know I find out it's actually from 7 YEARS ago :/

2)He said he broke up with the mother of his child like 6 months ago (he wasn't married to her) - now I find out it's actually more like 2 months at the most..!

I feel awful that he's told me two blatant lies and has me worrying there's more. Yet on the other side, I do like him generally (have met numerous others in the past and haven't found anyone who I liked enough and have been single for over a year now) and feel he probably told me these two lies due to insecurity (to make himself sound better) but that's obviously no excuse.

Would you overlook these two things if it were you?
I feel like at least 99% of you will tell me to ditch him as once a liar, always a liar and I'll always need to wonder whenever he says anything, if he's lying...

OP posts:

OldAndWornOut · 23/05/2019 19:47

For me, just as important as the lying would be the fact that he is looking for a relationship only weeks after ending his last one, so it would be a "nope" for me.

palahvah · 23/05/2019 19:47

No - he's lied to create a more positive impression and clearly has some insecurities he needs to work through.
He's also Very Fresh out of a serious relationship.
I wouldn't want anyone to be working through that on my time.

Original poster

Borelis · 24/05/2019 13:26

Thanks for your comments so far.

If it makes any difference, they broke up because she cheated apparently - perhaps that makes things even messier :/

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Andylion · 24/05/2019 15:26

If it makes any difference, they broke up because she cheated apparently

You know that's quite possibly a lie as well, OP.

MashedSpud · 24/05/2019 15:32

I don’t think any guy ever has said “Oh my ex relationship broke down due to my cheating” because it’s easier to blame the ex you’re unlikely to meet rather than reveal he’s an arsehole who’s also likely to cheat again.

Ringonrighthand · 24/05/2019 15:38

I was recently seeing someone I met online. He told me he had been single about a year, a few dates in it was "officially" six months since they broke up, a few more dates in, after pushing for me to be his girlfriend, saying he was falling for me etc he ended it saying he wasn't ready for serious as hadn't been out of a long term relationship long! It's made me really wary of people who are out trying to get with someone a short time after breaking up (plus really pissed off with him for shitty behaviour). I would save yourself the hurt in the long run and walk away now x

Crunchymum · 24/05/2019 15:38

If he is telling you the truth about why they split then no it doesn't make it better. It makes you a rebound / experiment for him.

No way would I be overlooking these lies at this stage. It doesn't bode well and would make me think he lies way too easily.

How did you find out he was lying out of interest?

Pipandmum · 24/05/2019 15:44

He lied about the photo. He lied about his relationship. So I bet he’s lied about quite a few other things. He’s right - you are ‘above his level in every way’. So why are you even thinking of having a relationship with him?why settle?

Original poster

Borelis · 24/05/2019 17:34

Thanks for the replies everyone.
Yeah I can't be 100% certain that's the true reason for their break-up (hence why I said "apparently" but all the signs seem to suggest he's probably telling the truth on that one at least... as he seemed fairly lovey-dovey with her on social media just before the break-up, started finally putting up pics of her and had even got engaged (i.e. proposed to her 2-3 months prior to the break-up) and he told me the entire story on how he found out she cheated, who it was with etc. - yes this could all be a huge elaborate lie as well but I'm veering towards truth on that aspect at least and feel that's why he's fairly needy and full-on/love-bombing.

Worst thing is being the "rebound" without even knowing it :/

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