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Ex Husband Issues

9 replies

HelpingAFriend88 · 23/05/2019 14:01

I’ve NC for this as posting on behalf of a friend who is having problems posting:

Bear with me as this is a bit of an essay. I'll keep it as brief as possible.

Last Jan my husband left my daughter and I, turned out he was having an affair with his boss. Bit of a back story - he lost 11 jobs in 7 years, was very difficult to live with, definitely narcissism in there somewhere.
Since then he has not paid CMS, mortgage or insurance, nor contributed to marital debts.
He has made false claims to social services, tried to stop me taking my daughter on holiday, tried to ruin my business and reputation, started rumours I'm an alcoholic, a drug addict etc etc. The list goes on. (I run my own successful business, have been in same job for 17+ years, well respected member of PTA and the community!!) Most recently claimed to police I chased him at high speed in my car. The police after doing the most basic of checks realised this is complete nonsense and have had a word with him for wasting their time.

I enlisted a solicitor at the very beginning and it's still ongoing but I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
He hasn't seen his daughter since the day he left and wants to legally relinquish parental rights and responsibilities, but he wants me to pick up the tab.
He is in agreement to divorce, again if I pick up the tab.
He's in agreement to the sale of the house, but he wants half the profits. Now as for the latter, the house was purchased using my late grandmothers inheritance, so my view is he IS NOT entitled to half.
He wants me to take all the debts on in my name, and cease pursuing CSA for payments including backdated.

He essentially owes me A LOT of money. I am drowning in solicitor bills and obviously it's been hard taking on the house etc myself. If I agree to all of this I will be left in a mountain of debt whilst he carries on his fresh start with the mistress. (Who's also now pregnant)

The next step seems to be court but my solicitor is also saying this could be risky as you can never guarantee the outcome.

Anyone been in this situation? Any outcomes you could share?

I'm at my wits end, it's been 18 months of stress and I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Forgot to mention he is on his second solicitor as his first refused to deal further with him. He was caught lying to solicitors and the judge when in court regarding holiday. He also questioned paternity but when I offered DNA test it was declined.

OP posts:
J4L1984 · 23/05/2019 14:10

Thank you

slipperywhensparticus · 23/05/2019 14:12

Tell him you wont divorce him or agree to any of his demands and you will continue to pursue money off him or he could keep his mitts off your house he can take his share if the joint debts or you will not allow him to relinquish PR and so on reality is your the one holding the cards here he doesn't want you or your child and cant force you to pay bat it back at him tell him to fuck off your not taking all the responsibility

J4L1984 · 23/05/2019 14:16

I have been trying that for 18 months. I should also point out we have zero contact unless through solicitors, so as much as I'd love nothing more than to tell him to fuck off I'm not getting that chance!!

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Tavannach · 23/05/2019 14:27

As he has left you with s lot of debt can you Airbnb a room over the summer to help with the bills? Only temporarily. See what your solicitor says. I would have thought your share of the home is secure. Is that why he wants to relinquish parentsl rights, because otherwise it's the family home?
I'd just contact the CMS and get them to sort out maintenance. I have never heard of relinquishing parental rights and didn't know you could do it unless the child was bring adopted. Is your solicitor a family law specialist?
Sounds awful. I hope it get better soon.

J4L1984 · 23/05/2019 14:29

He wants to relinquish parental rights because he doesn’t want to see, nor be financially responsible for, our daughter! It’s disgusting! You can apply through court to relinquish parental rights. CMS were contacted in the beginning and I speak to them weekly yet nothing has been done.

Tavannach · 23/05/2019 15:01

You must make sure your children are financially supported, whether you have parental responsibility or not.

From the Government website.

Try phoning the CMS again and explain how he's trying to avoid his financial responsibilities. He may have spun them a line. Stay calm with them and ask to speak to a manager if necessary.

J4L1984 · 23/05/2019 15:14

Believe me I’ve tried Sad Posting on here for support and / or advice really is a last resort. I’m getting nowhere with solicitors and CMS!

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 23/05/2019 21:21

What’s the next step after this? Is court an option?

Tavannach · 23/05/2019 22:12

Contact Gingerbread and ask for advice.

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