How do spend your time when alone?

[Misty9]

I've just separated from H and we are sharing care of the kids 50/50, so I have quite a lot of time spent on my own and I'm not used to it. I tend to grind to a halt and do nothing despite best intentions.

So how do others spend their time when alone? I love things like going to the coast but I just feel sad doing these things alone - but frustrated by kids demands if they're there! it's one extreme or the other it seems.

And how do you motivate yourself to do stuff if you're on your own? The long bank holiday weekend is looming, again

I don't get much time to myself but on the rare occasion I do I like to take the dog on a long walk.. a good couple of hours. I'll either meet a friend for a coffee or lunch or stop somewhere on my own if no friends around.
I also play the piano so I get stuck into that. Read a book or waste time on mumsnet
If I had more time I'd like to join a yoga class or go swimming, I've got a zillion things I want to do in the house to redecorate etc so I'd set myself some projects around the house and garden.

I live right next to the beach, when my kids are at school I love taking the dog to the beach and after a walk just love to sit down and sunbathe and read a book while ddog digs and sniffs around.
I think the problem is when you don't have much time to yourself you are envious of those who do but when it's forced upon you it's totally different and can feel quite lonely,

Which coast? I've been to the Norfolk coast alone today, beachcombing. I really love wandering along the beach by myself, with nothing to rush for. I sat and watched the sea and the sand martins while I ate my sandwiches.

You could try the MeetUp app? Lots of activities going on for anyone, single or not.

Research journals/archives
Mumsnet
Sleep
Random youtube documentaries.

Reading

Learning something new

Watching a mindless series

Baking

Mooching around shops

Sit have tea , read the paper

Yoga

How about joining a gym or a class ?

( I have no kids so these are my alone time hobbies )

Mumsnet, running club, reading, writing, workout dvd, naps, meet friends for coffee, odd jobs round the house, long walks with the dog.

There's an app called Meet Up OP, if you want to get out and do stuff. You can meet people interested in similar things and then form new friendships. They have groups based around loads and loads of different hobbies, including just the pub!

Do some online dating!

Napping
Hot bath
Reading crappy magazines
Play with pets
Phone my mum
Paint toenails

What kind of "nothing" do you do?

Sitting about watching netflix or reading things on the internet is a perfectly legitimate way to spend time.

Don't let anyone tell you that you should be busy if you don't want to be.

If you do want to be busy - what kinds of things do you like to do?

Things that I enjoy that are out of the house and also don't require company include going to the cinema, looking at all the little pretend houses in Ikea, going to an art gallery or museum and looking at the art for not very long and then having a cup of tea and piece of cake in the cafe.

You may also want to do things with other people - have you let your friends and acquaintances know that you now have more spare time and would be interested in invitations? Have you tried inviting them to things, and been prepared for a "no , I'm busy" and hearing it as "maybe ask me again and I won't be busy" rather than "never ask me again"?

I love having time to myself. I read, game online, do light gardening, and currently am attempting to declutter which means plenty of sorting of 'stuff'. Also enjoy cooking. :) So much to do, so little time!

Big bath
Mumsnet!
More time at the yard
Netflix

We are at the Coast, fish and chips alone would be wonderful!

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch it is Norfolk - which bit were you at today? I am going to try and make myself go on Saturday I think. Also maybe a car boot on Sunday. My friends have been great but all have kids and find it hard to be free during the days. And all are busy this long weekend as it's the start of half term too.

I'm pondering getting Netflix. I have nowtv but there's nothing I want to see on that. When I say I'm doing nothing, I literally mean nothing. I sit. I don't feed myself or anything else. Just sit. And cry sometimes

I do the same @Misty9

In the early days (months) after separating, I found it incredibly difficult as I had never been away from dd over a weekend. I didn't count for how utterly exhausted i was from the build up to and reality of separating and just slept for hours the first few weekends.
Now, I'm used to it and over it, it's been years, so my mindset is different and I am good at being alone. I go to gigs (alone), I go to galleries or museums. I take myself out for lunch or dinner. I read, potter, clean, watch films. I spend too much time on the internet. You get to a point where you look forward to your you time and are a bit gutted if it is cancelled!

Oh you do sound down OP. My DH is often away for weeks at a time so I'm quite used to having to occupy my time.

Sorry, posted too soon. Helping others, like volunteering somewhere can often make you feel less sad about your situation. I volunteered as a Home Library Service delivery person, dropping off books to the housebound in the area. You get to sit and chat with the customers and knowing you're making a big difference to their lives made such a difference.

It was Happisburgh OP. I like to go beachcombing (hoping to find a Neolithic hand axe one day!)

I think it will take while to get used to your situation, so don't beat yourself up.

You sound depressed. You've lost time with your DC and you're probably grieving that.

How about joining a walking group/ramblers type thing? I did that when I moved to a new area a few years ago and it was so lovely. Great way to talk naturally to new people and you also see some lovely countryside and get some exercise. Win win really!

So last night I found a meetup group doing a walk on Sunday and signed up. My job is quite emotionally draining already so volunteering might replicate that. Good idea though.

I'm proud of myself this morning as I've done some gardening, baked brownies (from a mix) and made a nice lunch. Small steps. That's after a hideous start to the morning with my eldest being very challenging. Had a good cry which helped.

simonfromharlow how are you doing?

I'm just feeling totally blah and can't motivate myself to do anything. I feel like I've gone right back to the start of this process! I looked in the meet-up app but there is nothing where I live unfortunately.

Glad you managed to get yourself motivated!

Misty9 did you make it to the beach today? Hope you've had a better day today

Web browsing
Practising my instruments ( various)
Practising choir songs
Walking the dog
Watching TV/ you tube
Playing games on my I pad
Housework