Anyone else unable to sleep without their DP? Feel like a massive baby!

[Nighttimeanxiety]

Hi,

NC for this, as I'm genuinely really embarrassed.

I used to be one of those people who needed their space when going to sleep, but since being with my now DP (together 6 years) I just can't seem to sleep unless their there, cuddling me

As their career progresses, the more they have to stay away and I basically just lie there feeling unsettled and panicky. Almost frightened. I'm lucky if I get an hour.

Even when they are here, I can't seem to fall asleep without being cuddled. Like a baby!

I feel so needy and embarrassed! I genuinely hate it and I can't believe the difference, from when I couldn't even have my former DPs foot touching me, once I was trying to get to sleep. Bit of a contrast!

I would genuinely appreciate some advice if anyone has any...

Just hearing I'm not the only one, would help.

Thanks

I don't mean they physically cuddle me like a baby That's a disturbing image

I meant, it makes me feel like a baby.

Could you get one of those pillows with arms and pretend it's him?

Cant help personally as i sleep better when dh isn't here! More room to spread out!

Why are you concealing your partner’s gender in this situation? I’m genuinely curious. It’s not like it would be outing to know. If it’s a case where your partner prefers gender neutral pronouns I understand but most of the time it’s not.

Why 'they'? Always really irritates me, and yes this isn't good or normal

I'm a bit like this. He doesn't have to be in bed with me but I don't really rest unless I know he's in the house. So if he's out I'll be all toss and turn till i hear him come in...

Titsy, I wish I felt the same!

Taxi and Damn, thanks. That's very helpful 👍

Grr typo. Meant "unless they're there"

That does sound extreme.

Dh works some night shifts and I never sleep much when he's gone. I think it's partly that I'm the only adult here so I feel more on call. Also partly that I like the total peace and quiet after kids are in bed!

I usually get about 4-5 hrs those nights...

Woolly, does it bother you that you do that?

God no. My husband is now in a job where he's away a couple of nights a week.

Absolute bliss.

*Vitriol", yes, I think that's maybe why I feel so on edge.

SkyBlue, I used to be you!

You alright there, skippy ?

It’s not something to be ashamed of!!! You definitely aren’t being a baby. The reality is, when my DP isn’t there with me, or even just a bit further away from me in bed than I’d like, I have a teddy bear!!!! And I’m a grown adult too :) I promise you, it’s not a sign of unhealthy dependency or regression from previous DPs, and it’s wonderful for you to have met someone that makes you feel that way :D but you do need a plan for when you are in bed alone— can’t miss a whole nights sleep, can you? Here are some things you could try-

Bed with radio/ podcasts on
Teddy
Hot water bottle
T shirt that DP wears so it smells like them
Can you phone DP immediately before going to sleep? Would that help?

I used to be like you but 15 years later DH is away at least 2 nights a week and I love when he's away. Electric blanket on to max, spread right out, no snoring, bliss.

I used to be like that - I used to stay in hotels for work and survive on 3/4 hrs sleep as I couldn't sleep with out my oh. I did get used to it eventually if it's any consolation

I am the opposite. I sleep so well when DH is not here. I have been alone since Sunday and I have slept like baby every night. When he is here he snores and is restless and gets up too early. Drives me mad!

I was like that for a while with DH - always slept better with him there. Now, I sleep fine when he's not there mostly, but we have been married 17 years! But he's rarely away. Sometimes I go away without him (usually to my mum's) and sleep fine then.

I can't identify I'm afraid.

I hate being touched when asleep. I like my space!

Thanks TheAnswer.

Glad I'm not the only one! I don't know what changed.

We do usually speak before we go to bed actually. Teddy bear?.. really?! I do tend to cuddle their pillow, so I guess that's the same sort of thing.

I think I sleep better generally feeling a bit weighted down, which I never thought I'd say! In the winter, when I have lots of layers, I definitely sleep better.

I heard about weighted blankets for anxiety, but aren't they too hot in the summer?

Teddy bear?...Really?!

Yep! I’m not even joking.

I struggle to sleep when he's not there. We've been together almost 6 years too, lived together 5 in August.
He goes on training courses twice a year for 2 or 3 days, I really srtmmteuggke to settle without him
Its funny because I've had a double bed since I was about 12 and when we first started sleeping in the same bed I struggled to sleep with him there... Funny how things change