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I quit. I've had enough. UPDATE

8 replies

Mississippilessly · 22/05/2019 20:20

Hello

About 6 weeks ago I posted in absolute desperation. My then 6 month old would only settle for me, was feeding throughout every night, was clingy in the day and would only nap in the car or sling. And I was spending ages getting him to sleep on a fucking yoga ball. There were also question marks over whether he had a food allergy.

First of all if you posted on that thread - THANK YOU..You absolutely kept me sane when I thought I was losing it.

Three things have happened since that thread:

  1. We went on holiday
  2. We hired a sleep consultant
  3. DS decided to settle for DH.

Things are not perfect, we are still napping in the bloody car and nights are still broken. But he has now night weaned and sleeping in his own cot. And he has managed stretches of 7 hours - last night we got a 5 hr and a 6 hr stretch. The yoga ball is in the loft. I am still BF like I wanted to, there are no allergies and we have followed a genuinely no cry sleep programme so I dont feel (too) guilty.

I still feel quite anxious about sleep and naps but the schedule the consultant has given me has made life more predictable. My challenge now is to try and drown out the multitude of opinions - on one hand the attachment parenting 'baby should nap on you and feed whenever they like and you should love it because it wont last forever and if you dont do it you are not meeting the needs of your baby' and on the other the Gina Ford 'you should have had him in a routine from day one and if you didnt it's your fault he doesn't sleep and clearly you have failed at parenting because your baby wont be developing properly'
I have had both of these things said to me on MN. Verbatim. But I've also had hundreds of very supportive posts and I just wanted to say thank you if you were one of them. You said it would get better. It hasn't happened by itself but it has got better.

And if you have found this thread because you are on that place too, I hope it gets better for you soon.

Love,
Miss (and mini Miss, who now might not be sold on Etsy).

OP posts:
BabyDueDecember2019 · 22/05/2019 20:20

Great update Star

Gigis · 22/05/2019 20:22

Oh my goodness I'm so pleased to read this! I posted, but under a different name, and kept going back to read your updates because it all just sounded so desperate and took me right back to those early days. So so glad you might be turning a corner, even if it's not perfect yet. You've got this!

Mississippilessly · 22/05/2019 20:23

Thank you. For some reason I cant find the thread - but it's like I've already forgotten how bad it was!

OP posts:

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ThatCurlyGirl · 22/05/2019 20:37

This is so lovely to hear @Mississippilessly - you did it! StarStarStar

Gollymissmollypleasesleep · 22/05/2019 21:02

This is very heartening to hear as I sit in the dark feeding my very clingy 6 month old to sleep (for the second time tonight already!)

We are even investigating allergies at the moment too... I will try to find your original thread as it sounds very helpful.

We’re also ready to start a no cry sleep training attempt - any key tips?

Mississippilessly · 22/05/2019 21:05

Good luck!!
Honestly the best thing we did was get the consultant. I do much better when I'm told what to do. If you can spare 200 quid honestly it's worth going without some stuff if you can!
Other than that- be co distant, make sure you and your partner are on the same wavelength. Dont do anything you arent comfortable with because otherwise you will.just stop and make yourself feel worse! Good luck. Feel free to PM me x

OP posts:
FermatsTheorem · 22/05/2019 21:05

Hooray. I remember your thread.

As for attachment parenting versus Gina Ford, and people continually offering you their two-pennorth worth - a colleague gave me some very wise advice. Do what works for you. Then, after the fact, find the parenting guru who happens to agree with what you're doing anyway. Then, whenever someone tries to offer sage advice, just nod and say "but we're doing the Guru XYZ method..."

Mississippilessly · 22/05/2019 21:12

Hahaha that is clever. I'll do that! (And if I can't find one, I will make it up!)

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