How can we get our 5 year old to listen to us?

[mommathatwearspink]

DD has always been a really good little girl and we’ve never had any issues with her at all. She started primary school last September and is doing well.

However at home, she just will not listen to me or her Dad. I feel like I’m constantly nagging and shouting at her because she won’t listen and often ignores our instructions.

I know this is the norm at this age but I was hoping that someone could give me some tips on getting my child to listen to me! TIA

we went through this stage and i eventually resorted to counting down. I said ' dd, if you don't go and do what i have asked you to by the time i have counted down from 5, you will be in time out for 5 minutes. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1'. the first few times i did it she thought i was bluffing and so ignored me, but after a few times of being put into time out she began to listen straight away as soon as i started counting. all the best x

Watching with interest. We actually took our 4 year old to get his hearing checked as he was showing no sign of hearing us...he passed with flying colours.

Yes time out has had some effect

My 14 year old is the same

We have started using 1.2.3 magic. You discuss with them about behaviours that are not allowed such as shouting, fighting and ignoring etc. Explain that when they do this they will be counted a one. If they do (or don’t if you are asking them to do something) then you count a two. If you get to three then they get a time out or loss of privilege.
If they argue back you count them again. No emotion.
My kids have been doing this for a couple of weeks and we almost never get to 3.

123 magic is brilliant...kids need to understand behaviours have consequences. Parents cannot be their friend all the time.

However at home, she just will not listen to me or her Dad. I feel like I’m constantly nagging and shouting at her because she won’t listen and often ignores our instructions.

What are the consequences for this behaviour?

If you find something that works OP, let me know! I also have a DC in reception with selective hearing (she's not quite 5 yet). We have tried counting down (with clearly explained consequences that are carried out), time outs, docking pocket money, and missing out on fun stuff (trips out/ice cream/activities etc). The only thing that has had any effect is getting to the end of our rope and shouting, which licks her into shape for a week or so before we are back to square 1. Obviously this isn't our prefered method of getting her to do basic tasks 😞 It's infuriating, but I take comfort in her friends' mums telling me their DCs are the same.

I should add we've also tried positive things like extra pocket money or staying up a bit later on Friday if she's had a good week without us needing to nag and harangue her excessively. Makes no difference.

The CONSEQUENCES have to be immediately relevant OR significant. Stop them doing what they want to do ....if you take away their tablet for an hour...play up it is two hours.Do not give in kids are not worldly wise about many things EXCEPT identifying weakness in parents discipline tactics.

Read the book 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'. Full of great practical advice.

Is she tired from school and is constantly having to listen to other people so is then zoning out at home (which is what DS1 does- sometimes he is like a zombie) or is she being deliberately obstructive?
I sometimes get DS1 who is now 7 to repeat back to me what I want him to do. Give him lots of warning.
And routine, routine routine. When they are tired, having a firm routine makes a big difference. They don’t have to think as they move from X to Y.
If she’s a good girl otherwise then see if the above helps. I think she’s too old for time out. And sometimes when they are tired it also helps to give them a helping hand. DS1 again in the morning will get dressed but hates wearing his socks and faffs endlessly. So I will say ‘if you get ready, I will help you with your socks,’ or if I need him to tidy up I will say ‘let me do X and you do Y.’