How do you deal with such news (Trigger warning)

[cjt110]

Today an acquaintance popped up on my news feed. We had our boys at around the same time and were good "friends" during the first few years - chatting via whatsapp and Facebook.

As these things do, we contacted each other less and less. No malice. Just life. A memory popped up on my Facebook from a few years back and I thought I wonder what she's doing now.

I was shocked and saddened to discover one of her daughters passed away a few weeks ago. Only aged 6.

Reading this has really upset me. Not just that someone I know has lost their precious little one, but that life is so unpredictable and cruel.

I felt a bit daft and helpless but sent her a message to say I was saddened to read of her news and if she needs anything, anything at all, to contact me. I don't expect a reply but felt I needed to acknowledge what I had read and offer any support.

I can't get it out of my head. The thought of losing my son, who drives me to distraction some days, has really hit home. Whilst I'm cross or shouting... he could be gone tomorrow.

How do you deal with this? Literally teetering on the edge of tears

bumping.

Ive recently had similar. An old colleague who i got on well with after we binded over the bosses lack of understanding around mental health had a baby who had a genetic disease which was really rare. He recently died age 2. I did the same as you and sent her a message of support, not wanting a response. It make me scared of what could be around the corner and pushed me to live each day as it comes. I dont know how you deal with it, i suppose just thank your lucky stars the same hasnt happened to you and know that you must enjoy life and all that comes with ut while it lasts.

It all makes life seem so fleeting.

Just burst into tears in the office. Fortunately my colleague and true friend was there to offer his support.

I just want to go home and be with my family.

Plus I feel so silly being so upset over something that isn't mine to be upset over

Same, my school friend's little boy died. He was six months younger than my littlest and so it really hit home. I haven't seen her since uni so felt odd for "only" (as I felt) getting in touch when something had happened. But it was just so desperately, horribly fucking unfair. I do message her every now and again, just checking in, sending a hug etc and she's said how nice it is to be back in touch. I went to his memorial too which was the most incredible event I've ever been to, the love and the strength of his parents was just phenomenal. We aren't geographically close but closer than a lot of our school friends so hopefully I can go see her some time. I think the important thing is to let them know that you're still thinking of them, weeks and months and years down the line. I hate the whole "thinking of you at this sad time" thing. It's not this sad time, it's for always. As for how we deal with it, yes it has made me absolutely terrified that something will happen to my two. All we can do is just keep being kind to people.

I’m going back over 30 years ago but my aunt was pregnant with twins-she was with a real arsehole who pushed her down the stairs and twin 1 took the brunt of it-both girls where born at 6 months-twin one died and twin 2 is 36 now

My aunt said the worst thing was people crossing the road to avoid her due to not knowing what to say so choosing not to say anything

Same with my in laws-they lost their daughter aged 24 to battens and my mil said so many people avoided her for the same reason

You are doing the right thing by contacting your friend I’m sure she’s grateful just has a lot to deal with at the moment

Life really is a lotto and we should all hold our babies that bit tighter-I know I will that feeling is normal after finding this out-life is so sodding unfair