Sons friend coming back here everyday after school.

[dustarr73]

Hes a quiet lad,but im getting pissed off with it.

Saturday was the last straw.He was here from 12 till we dropped him home at 8.30.Its just too long.Im going to have to ring the mam and put a stop to it.

How old are the boys? Does your son never go to his house and if not, why?

So do that. The number of doormats on Mumsnet ....

She's using you as free childcare, and you're dropping him right at his door. What service!

Are you not concerned why he doesn’t want to go home? How old is he?

Depends how old he is?

They are 11,and before they moved they did have my son sometimes.So i didnt feel so used.The thing that gets me,not one text on Saturday to let us know what time he was being collected.

Yes she works so im going to send her a message and ask her what time suits to phone.

Its the not asking that annoys me.And i know my son sometimes asks him to come down.S words have been said to my ds as well.

How old is he?
Is there a reason he's not willing to go home eg lack of food, unpleasant parents or something else?
Does your son go to his house?

So i have sent her a message,about the frequency of visits and about weekend visits.So we shall see.

How did you word your message? This would really piss me off too, but I'd hate to ruin things for my DS. If you word it wrongly she might ban him from coming at all and your DS would be very upset.

If they were 16 I’d think what’s the big deal, but at 11 they effectively need care and feeding (I wouldn’t feel responsible for feeding an uninvited 16 year old, probably would because I can but don’t think it’s necessary).
Put a stop to it.

You are definitely being used as free childcare.

You need to establish with your DS that you are happy for his friend to come to yours but the route for this to happen is this: he checks with you it is ok for X to come down. X checks with his DM who then messages you to check the time he will be dropped and the time he will be collected/dropped back. You get the final say on agreeing this. If the timings don't suit you can amend them.

@Pinkyyy Thats what im worried about.

Anyway she texted me back and said she was under the impression the boys had permission.And she will take note.

I basically said i didnt mind the odd day,but every day after school was too much.And weekends should be sorted between us,the parents.

As much as anything, is this impacting on your son in terms of getting his homework done, that sort of thing?

Sounds like her reply was genuine. I imagine her DS has probably told her that you were fine with it. Hopefully she will put some restrictions in place, or ask permission in future.

@FrancisCrawford I think coming once or twice a week is fine.I wouldnt expect parent involvement.But the weekend i would expect the parent to at least ask.

He would only stay for about an hour,he meets his sister then goes home.

The thing is though,our summer holidays start in teh end of June,so i want this sorted before then.

My DD has friends over, it involves 'can X stay this weekend' me: 'yes' I have never met most of the Mums. I can understand not all the time but you need to set boundaries for your DS too.

Poor kid!

I understand you! Ds has a friend who goes through phases of knocking on the door about 2 minutes after we get through the door. He lives further up and I suspect watches for us to go past. Ds needs to time to unwind otherwise he's too wound up later.
I've introduced a rule ds has to do his homework before going out, so any knocking that early gets the response of "ds needs to finish him homework before he can come out."

@mavisgreen Why poor kid.

Yes I’m interested to know why “poor kid” too? Kids can’t just pitch up uninvited (by the parent) at someone else’s house every day.