I will be fine won’t I?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

I need to travel on the train and tube this weekend by myself. Dh is dropping me at the train station and I’m meeting my brother at Euston to get our train up north. I’ll be doing about 1.5 hr by myself with one change. And the return journey that night. Tickets all booked.

But I’m starting to panic. I’m in recovery from GAD and I can feel the physical symptoms starting, upset stomach, heart palpitations etc. I’m swinging from excited to petrified. What if I have a panic attack? What if I die?

You won’t. Either. And you’ll be fine. Thousands of people do this on a daily basis. Chin up chick you can do it

Can you do the anxiety thing to keep you grounded? Hang on I’ll find it -

You're not going to die.

It's a relatively short train journey. Just take it one step at a time.

Get to station
Find platform you need to be on
Check time for next train
Get on train
Check for number of stops
Get off train at stop.
Meet your brother.
Get to next station

Repeat steps backwards.
Get to right platform
Get on train
Check stops
Get off at destination
Walk to exit

Not sure if the gif will work but these are what I was thinking of.

Try to break it down into more manageable steps.
Listen to something calming instead of the people and noises around you.
Ask for help.
You'll be ok.

Sorry no images I’ll try again.

Thanks Eliza you’ve just reminded me about my mindfulness app I could listen to.

And I love the idea of breaking it down in to smaller chunks. I love a tick list and have an app for that too!

If the app does a little bell sound "ting" when you've crossed it off the list, that's even better. Satisfaction guaranteed.

It does

Download a couple of podcasts onto your mobile to listen to en route - watching the scenery go by and listening to something interesting makes the time fly.

Set your alarm to vibrate 15 mins before you are due to arrive at your destination station (so you don't worry about missing it).

Don't confuse excitement with anxiety.
You will be fine. You will feel great. You are a strong independent woman.
Once I started doing things that were outside my comfort zone I felt so much better.A sense of freedom and a sense of achievement.

Is it wunderlist by any chance?

I love that list app!!

That’s interesting blue they do give off similar feelings don’t they? The adrenaline I guess.

Yes it’s Wunderlist! I love it too, maybe too much rather obsessed.

Obsessed is when you give a knowing nod to another shopper in the supermarket when hearing the "ting"

Go and watch Nadiya Hussain’s BBC documentary about anxiety. She makes a train journey with her CBT Therapist and discovers the benefit of avoiding the avoidance! You will be fine, you might have to push through a bit but once you’ve done it you’ll recognise it’s all very possible.

I will thanks youok I saw her talking about and meant to watch it but forgot. She’s lovely and really relatable.

I’m having a week of bravery at the moment and hoping I don’t push myself too far and have a set back.

I’ve had a haircut (first one in years)

And tomorrow I’m going to a big shopping centre that I haven’t been to since I had a big panic attack there.

Wow I watched Nadiya’s documentary last night and so much resonated with me. The planning, control, keeping busy... I’m a micromanager and a lover of routine and that is something I’m have tried to relax on. I have teens now so I have to accept that I can’t know/plan everything and I’m ok with that. It’s hard though.

I cried a lot watching it, so pleased I watched it though. Thanks.

Well I did it and it didn’t go as well as I hoped. The train up north was incredibly over crowded and I ended up standing for 2.5 hours (did try sitting on the floor but it was really hot and I felt claustrophobic). When boarding we got separated and I got really panicked and felt close to a panic attack.

I had a lovely day at our event but the travel really spoiled it for me and I felt like I didn’t want to ever do it again.

Now I’m home I know that’s not a healthy frame of mind, how do I solve it though? I don’t do a lot of public transport travel so the exposure to it is limited.