How you stop the worries of the world overwhelming you?

[DownWithThisSortOfThin]

Since having my children I'm finding myself increasingly worried about everything.

Big stuff that I can't control - Trump, Brexit, climate change, nuclear war...

Smaller things I still can't control - anti-feminism, the effects of free online pornography, online trolls etc

Stuff I have a little control over - how my kids will turn out, my career, my family's health

I worry about it all. Everything. My children are young and deeply, painfully innocent. They don't have a concept of death, of people hurting each other on purpose, of someone taking advantage of someone else, of bad luck just happening to people, of judging someone based on skin colour, wealth or looks. I find it painful to think about how they will find their way in the world when it's such a shitty place. I don't want to do. I don't want them to grow up.

Is it normal to feel this way? I want to enjoy their innocence but I find it just places into sharp relief the absolute horrors of the world.

How do I become more positive?

I don't know what the answer is but just letting you know I could've wrote that so you're not alone

Thank you owl! Looks like it's just us though

To be honest one of the worst triggers for worry is actually MN so I should probably stop looking on here...

I had a phase of feeling like this a while ago. What helped was to stop watching and reading the news, that was the one big thing that totally overwhelmed me. I couldn't deal with the horrors of so many senseless things happening.
Concentrate on those things you mentioned you have some control over, so educating your kids, spending time with them reading, listening to music, playing, making sure your family stays healthy with good food, exercise, getting out in the fresh air. Just concentrating on my family for a while helped me get over the angst and now I can pick and choose what news I want to watch again.

How old are your children?

Stop watching/listening to/reading the news, or anything else that's going to depress or worry you. Or as far as possible.
I don't mind admitting to being far less of a news addict than I used to be.

We are constantly bombarded with so much awfulness about things we can personally do nothing, or so very little about, so don't expose yourself to it unnecessarily.

Try to focus instead on the nice/good things in your life and the world around you. Maybe a little bit easier at this time of year - spring, birds singing their heads off, and everything so green and lush!

Ahh DownWith I understand you totally, as Owl says could have written it myself!

You sound like you must be a fantastic mum to have such concern over all this stuff and you do have control over more than you think (although I understand why you feel powerless). You are their mum and they will learn from you that there is lots of fabulous stuff in the world although the news tells us differently and that's because as a society we thrive more off bad news. I don't want to sound glib or anything,as I say I am the world's worst worrier at times and my 2 are now 17 and 20.

i think it is normal to feel this way to some extent but it becomes abnormal when you feel the worrying is taking over any positive or happy thoughts. I remember becoming much more sensitive to bad news on TV when I became a mum, I can't even watch violent films or dramas! A relative is a doc/psychotherapist and she says we worry for a reason, to protect us from danger (esp when were cavemen/women) so it's in our make up as something to help us but we have to recognise when it's not helping and just making us feel worse. Does this make sense?

Good advice from others re the news watching/reading. We have it 24/7 now and it can be a constant drip feel of awfulness unless we turn the tap off. I should have said, whilst my 2 were young enough for me to control it I would 'ban' the news, esp first thing in morning and before bed.

I never watch the news and try to steer clear of the tabloid press (not always successfully). It helps.

I am really scared of my DD finding out the extent of deliberate cruelty in the world.

I felt quite similar after having children. I stopped watching the news for a few years.

i went back to it but I'm trying to cut it out again: it is after all down to editorial choice as to what gets shown.

Likewise MN hot topics are often the products of a few dedicated posters finding common ground here. I have been usefully educated by some themes and abandoned quite a few others!

Barely watch the news also

God I feel exactly the same, the feeling has been magnified since having dd.

The only way I keep on is by staying ridiculously optimistic. The world has been through worse, and will go through worse, but we will get through this. Trump will die eventually, Brexit will be resolved one way or another. Climate change is finally being taken seriously, hopefully it’s not too little too late.

I will protect dd to the best of my ability and if anything happens we’ll get through it. And I’ll do my small part by raising her to judge people on their actions, not their religion or where they’re from or anything else. And hopefully others are doing the same and we can fight back fascism.

And don’t watch the news unless absolutely necessary. And gin.

Barely watch the news also, which is an increase from never when mine were tiny.
Live in my own bubble and only search for specific info on things which directly affect my family.

I'm going to have to look into internet safety soon, my eldest is almost old enough to be using it.
Concentrating on what I can change for my family, healthy diet, exercise, navigating their world.
Not watching scary films.

Read about stoicism and you will conclude that you literally have no control over most things apart from your thoughts in relation to them and your own actions.

This helps me not think about most things and begin worrying.

Reminds me of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

I was news obsessed for years, got so depressed over climate change as a teenager that I had to push the thoughts out completely as it affected me so badly. Those feelings were returning with Brexit so I've done the same with that and feel tons better mentally. Having children didn't make it any better or worse though always been the same

Do what you can with the things you do have control over, for example being as environmentally friendly as you can, contribute to charity, vote, stick a sticker on your car supporting something you believe in.

Raise your kids to be good people. Fill them with love so they have plenty to spare and spread around.

Don't follow every twist and turn in the news. I have stopped following Brexit because there were all these crisis points that meant nothing in the end, and I was getting upset. If a politician says something else it's unlikely to be actually new.

Also, take each day at a time and enjoy it. And look up the serenity prayer.

I stopped watching the news apart from 1x a week.

I unfollow people on fb who post news articles and political rants all the time (I do have opinions on things but don't argue about them unless specifically asked).

I do hobbies and pastimes that I can fully lose myself in so that I'm not constantly checking my phone or thinking about what if...

I write things down so my thoughts aren't all in a big jumble in my head. The physical act of writing helps me focus and getting it into coherent sentences helps me organise them and think about why they worry me and what, if anything, I can do about them.

Read Wendell Berry “ The Peace of Wild Things” - it calms me right down...

I have the serenity prayer printed and stuck on my kitchen wall and next to my desk at work. It really helps remind you to concentrate only on what you can change.

Be outside especially at the moment, it's absolutely gorgeous out there right now, so much green, so many plants flowering, everything smells delicious in the fields, woods and parks - it helps enormously.

Ah thank you all so much. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

You're all right about the news. I love radio 4 but it's incredibly depressing most of the time. I love crime dramas etc but I'm in no place for them just now.

The kids are 3 and 1. It's the 3 year old that I think is the trigger for this bout of worrying. He is so preciously innocent but is beginning to explore the world and ask questions and form opinions. I think that is what is making me realise that he's going to have to start learning about bad things as well as the happy bubble of innocence he's lived in until now.

I don't want my kids to be worriers. I would like them to see the good in the world and grasp it with both hands. Perhaps if I try to model that for them, and maybe that will help me feel better too.

There is SO MUCH good in the world. Everywhere, in little ways and big ways. I need to focus on that.

Thank you all

I could have written your post too!

I feel slightly guilty that I don't take as much notice of the news and current affairs as I used to, but it was really affecting my mental health. I could cry for the state of the world my children are going to live in.

BUT I try to see the good in little things, the kindness of ordinary people and working in a hospital helps me be kind and recognise it in others, despite my despair at management of the nhs, most people are kind.

I do take citaopram now which also probably helps!

I second the pp who said we have to accept, we can't change some things but can only do our best to bring up our children as thoughtful people.

How old are your children @DownWithThisSortOfThin ?
I remember having this feeling when my children were very young, newborn and toddler. They are now a bit older (6 & 10) and I still have these worries, exactly what you wrote, but it has got a little better.

Sorry just read previous posts and your children are young. No advice but just you are not alone x