Boyfriend wants a DNA test.

[cmdoran1991]

Okay, so my now ex boyfriend wants a DNA test.

A few years ago we were trying for a baby to no avail, we got tested and we were both fine but we decided to leave things and focus on our career. He got mentally unwell at work and had to leave, I supported him 100% of the way.

I'd booked holidays off work and visited my grandparents in the countryside. He was up in our home for the week. One day I'd got sick of the feeling that AF was going to come, so I took a test and it was +.

I told him, he said we weren't ready and wanted me to get rid, to which I said if he made me do that- we were finished. So he tried to take it on board.

A few weeks later, I hear my cousin (his best friend) told him I was much further along and already went for a scan (I'm 7wks now and haven't went for one) and how ex's brother is making up lies about me and his family is calling me a compulsive liar for no reason at all (I don't know what these lies are)

One day I'd been rushed to hospital with bleeding (all is fine) but he didn't come with me so I was upset at him and got angry over the phone. He made a huge deal about it saying I'm not entitled to act like that just because of my hormones. Made himself to be a victim and told his mum I was threatening to get rid of the baby. I sent her the text of him saying 'we will get an abortion' and he made her block me telling her I photoshopped the text.

I have no idea what to do and I really need some help :( my boyfriend was with me so much that he should have known I never had time to go for a scan as I was working so much but is choosing to believe all these lies.

Just cut him out, at least til the baby is born. You don't need the stress or drama and need to focus on what's important! A man child who clearly thinks his life is a soap is not that.

You sound quite young. How old are you OP? I think you need to plan in your head that you are going it alone, with no support from your boyfriend. Don't give your child his surname. Don't put your ex on the certificate.
Have you slept with anyone else in the last few months? If not, you know it is your ex-boyfriend's child, so having a DNA test once the child is born won't be any drama for you. The only reason to do that is to claim financial support.
Until then concentrate on your career, your plans for when the baby arrives and in getting support from your friends and family in place.
Most of all, block him and his friends and stay off texting and social media with him. You don't owe him anything. He had his chance to be involved. You can give him another chance when the baby is born if you want to.

Disconnect.
Do not concern with what his family are saying or doing. They are irrelevant.
As for him, if you still want to keep him informed or give him the option to go to scans, just text him "had check up baby ok" or "scan at xxxx on xxxx if you want to come.". Just keep factual and about baby, you are no longer a couple. Or else just cut yourself from him to and text him to tell him baby is born and arrange DNA / contact / maintenance.

I’d get all ties until baby is born and then sort out maintenance etc. Definitely don’t put his name on BC

Have the baby by yourself. He obviously doesn’t trust you and doesn’t want the baby. Save you and baby a lot of heartbreak and get rid.

Oh and I agree with @Lobster! Claim CMS but don’t put his name on the BC

This is the kind of family that will do their best to break you up, though they might actually be doing you a favour in this case, then DEMAND access to your baby. You don’t need these kind of people in your baby’s life, OP. I remember my father hinting that he was not my oldest sister’s father, that always stuck with me, even though I know my mother would NEVER have been with another man. It was an incredibly cruel thing to suggest to a small child. It’s about what is best for the baby, not them or him. Keep his name off the birth certificate and give the baby your name. He will of course say that proves he’s not the father, but tell him he can fuck off or earn the right to be more than a sperm donor.