Partner often doesn't respond when I say something: any experiences of this??

[BigbreastsBiggerbeard]

Sometimes my DP doesn't respond when I say something. If it requires an answer (a question) then yes, he'll respond, but comments, statements etc often go 'ignored'. Now, I do suffer from anxiety so I'm not sure how much of my dissatisfaction around this issue is down to my anxiety and how much is reasonable.

It makes me feel rather rejected (and dejected!). Communication is really important to me, and, having had a couple of relationships during which the communication was not too fabulous (and being ignored, talked over, etc) I really want this relationship to be better.

The things may be nothing of note or relating to some aspect of the relationship - either way it feels important to me that my partner feels that what I'm saying is important enough to warrant a reply. Things just fall flat. I feel like an utter idiot when I say something only for it to be met with radio silence.

Communication is a two way process and I feel that so many opportunities are being missed for us to talk! Though obviously, we do talk. But, you know when you're with a friend and the conversation just flows - there's a dialogue - one person says something, the other responds...and there you have a satisfying exchange. You feel heard, understood. All that important stuff.

For context, he's a lovely guy, and listens when I explain how I feel about this to him. Reassures me that he never, ever wants to make me feel ignored, is always interested in what I have to say, etc. He's working on it. I actually have faith that we can deal with this. There's absolutely no malice involved. He's generally a quiet chap and hasn't been in a relationship for quite some time.

I just wanted to know how other people would feel about this, or how you've dealt with it your own relationships?

My husband does this. I sometimes ask him to repeat the last thing I said to prove he's listening. He once said my constant talking is like the radio, you just have it on in the background and tune in if something interesting comes on. Married 25 years, still happy, still love him. Besides, imagine if we both talked constantly!

My parents were very hot on "it's rude not to reply if someone speaks to you". Even a nod or a smile is acceptable. And in the family was a grandmother who wouldn't stop talking, everyone around her had nodding and smiling down to a fine art.

This used to be a difficulty between my DH and me, but in a different way: he would start on some long sentences without getting my attention first, maybe even from a different room! All I would hear would be the tail end of his speech, and then I would have to ask him to repeat it. Sometimes I wouldn't even realise he had said something.

Sometimes he replies to everything I say with "mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm…" this annoys me too, especially if I'm telling him something I think would interest him. It feels like he's just waiting for me to finish. I imitate him when he does it.

There's a cartoon I've seen somewhere, of a wife talking to her husband, and Rover the dog:

Wife: "I've got to go out at six, so you'll need to make dinner, and take Rover out for his walk."

What the husband hears: "blah blah blah blah blah SEX blah blah blah"

What Rover hears: "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Rover blah blah blah"

Do you use his name when speaking out of the blue? My DH doesn’t and accuses me of this, it took me ages to work out what was going on.
If h

• he is watching TV, looking at his phone or reading, I say his name to get his attention, however in reverse, he just murmers what he wants to say, and by the time I’ve registered that he’s talking to me, he’s halfway through and annoyed because “I never listen”.

When I’m reading, it takes a lot to distract me.