Really down about my life and don't know what to do

[annenotann]

I'm 26, single and work in a job that I really enjoy. I'm saving to buy a home, I had a mortgage with an ex when I was 21, which ended badly as he was abusive. I should be able to buy on my own in another year or so.

I haven't had a holiday in 15 years simply because I haven't got anyone to go with. My friends all have partners that pay to take them away so they aren't interested in spending their own money to go away with me. In addition to getting whisked away they all seem to be getting married, having babies etc and it's really getting me down. I KNOW it shouldn't and I shouldn't be comparing myself to them.

I've had dates from OLD but they never go anywhere. I usually get told i'm not attractive enough. I'm a size 18 but am always told I have a pretty face and I know i'm good at making the most out of myself with my hair and makeup.

I was out recently with a male (just a) friend and saw one of these old dates. He proceeded to text his friends and they all laughed at me, asked if we were on a date and started chanting "x is a fat cunt" at me/us. My friend told them to fuck off and we left but it was so humiliating, I don't think I deserved that.

I exercise regularly and eat well, but i have some issues with my hormones which is making losing weight slow. I know I will do it but I feel so worthless I can't imagine it making much difference.

Just feel really shit about my life and where it's going (nowhere) and don't know what to do at this point. I've had lots of private therapy to get over my ex and move on and i don't feel like it affects me anymore and I don't think I can get anything else from going back.

Your male friend and his friends are extremely vulgar and insulting. He's no friend, ditch him!

Good luck, you're still a spring chicken. (flowers)

It wasn't the male friend who sent the text - it was a former OLD. Her friend stood up for her.

Try and ignore those pricks OP. You had a lucky escape with that knob head. He must be such an Adonis himself.

I think the friend she was with was supportive! Tbh OP, appearances are very important in today's society. Wrongly so, but that's the way it is. Look at poor old Arg - so handsome when he's slim but a joke now, with ten stone to lose. It doesn't matter so much when you're older with children and a family of your own.

Try the keto diet? It just means no carbs or sugar. Plenty of veg, salad, protein and dairy. My ddil has lost 1.5 stone in 9 weeks

Well first of all forget about the loser from OLD who insulted you. What a prick.

You have a job that you enjoy and will soon be able to buy your own home. That is really positive, to be able to buy on your own at your age and don’t underestimate having a job you enjoy.

You are not worthless, keep going with the healthy lifestyle.

I can’t help you with the comparing yourself to others. They say ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and it is so true. I’m a single mum and constantly compare myself negatively to families and get down about all the things I feel I’m missing out on. You are young, and time is on your side.

There is no reason you can’t go on holiday alone, you don’t need someone to go with/take you.

You are doing really well to be in a job you love and to be in a position to buy your own home at such a young age, especially after having left an abusive relationship. It sounds like you're taking positive steps too in relation to your health. Celebrate how far you've come and keep working towards your goals - that guy is a loser and not worth your time.

How about a tour holiday? Might be fun and a good way to meet people

I’m 59, so my view of your life / comments is completely different to yours.
I see an incredibly strong young woman:
You were in an abusive relationship - but you didn’t stay - you got out.
In a year or so you will be a homeowner - an incredible achievement at your age.
I hear what you’re saying about your weight - but you’re working on it and have enough confidence to say you will get there - and with that attitude you will.
Regarding your looks - It’s so easy to judge yourself against all the fake, plastic people you see these days. You say people tell you you’re pretty - believe them.
Maybe you need to meet a wider variety of people. I know it’s a bit of a Mumsnet cliche, but give some consideration to new hobbies etc - widen your friendship circle (I know that’s easier said than done).
To me, it doesn’t sound like your life is going nowhere. You come across as a mature woman who is taking control of her life - you just need to build up your confidence.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have taken control of your life. How pathetic of your old boyfriend to do that, he sounds vile.
Concentrate on you and the people who love you

Totally not the point of your post, but I too suffer a hormonal condition (pcos) and had to tell you about maca root. Two teaspoons worth in a shake, water, tea or even sprinkled on cereals etc and it regulates your hormonal balance and metabolism. It takes about 3 months to get significant results but it truly is a miracle worker, I couldn't conceive for four years and maca helped me. I have friends who've lost weight far quicker because of taking it too. Please Google it as I know how frustrating and annoying it is to lose weight at such a slow pace and be judged for it! Hopefully gaining control over your hormone issues will domino into other aspects of your life and you feel better soon about yourself