Family invitations- is this how it is in your family?

[ILoveMaxiBondi]

I’ve noticed a trend recently, I’m not sure if it’s always been that way and I’m just noticing now or it’s a new thing that has crept in.

My mum mentioned while I was visiting her that cousin A was visiting the area soon and would like to see me and my DC so their DC could meet their extended cousins (Other family are invited too) so I should come to X place on Y date at Z time. Cousin A has my number, we are also both on FB and they have had no issues contacting me in the past when they needed information from me. Why can’t they actually invite me themselves to their family reunion? If they want me there? There’s a high chance if I hadn’t visited my mum between now and the date of the reunion, she wouldn’t have passed on the message as it just wouldn’t have been in her head until she seen me.

Another occasion, family member B was getting married- invitations were left in a pile at my grandmothers house for us to find as and when we called at her house and relying on her 90+ year old memory to let us know they were there.

Lots of other similar occasions, big birthdays etc. some events I haven’t found out about until they’re over and someone asks why I wasn’t there “umm because I didn’t know it was on, why didn’t you let me know?” “Oh I said to gran to let everyone know”.

Is this normal? To me it feels really lazy. If you want to have an event and want people there you send them an invite. You don’t tell one person and hope the message gets out.

Pretty normal in my family, but then my mum loves being the hub of communication between all my siblings and I. It's been better since we got a group whatsapp chat, but still there to some degree. People tell mum, mum tells (some) people but often forgets who she told what to, she then tells someone that thing five times and four of the others never find out :p

If it were an important invitation I expect we would communicate directly, but informal stuff? Yes it's this every time.

I agree you do have these people who act as hubs and you don't always appreciate it until they are gone.

If it was just my family (mum dad by siblings etc) it wouldn’t be an issue, there would be very little to remember and I’m in touch with them regularly. But this is my huge extended family. I’m talking well over 100 adults. and it isn’t that someone is the hub who everyone passes messages through, there is no hub. Lots of these people I don’t see for months or even up to a year at a time so it’s not like there is any guarantee whoever is told “the message” will see the people they are expected to pass it onto, which is why I don’t understand not just setting up a group chat and adding all the people you want to come or messaging/calling them directly. Pretty much all of us apart from my grandmother are on social media. It’s so easy to contact people.

I'm not arguing Max, it's infuriating isn't it! You have my sympathies.

It is. Most recent invitation came less than a week before the event, I don’t visit my mother every week, pure chance that I did and so got the message. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known it was happening.