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Original poster

No kids but on Mumsnet?

113 replies

Alone1971 · 21/05/2019 08:41

Why do women with no kids (intentionally) post on this forum? It says "by parents for parents". Genuinely interested as to why?

OP posts:
EmmaC78 · 21/05/2019 10:01

This is one of the most frequently asked questions on here!

I have no children but often post on the DIY forums and pet related sections. I ended up here as a result of a google search i was looking for advice on and never left.

Rakati · 21/05/2019 10:02

There's lots of the sections that have nothing to do with parenting, I enjoy those.

EBearhug · 21/05/2019 10:06

There are mental health threads, too - maybe you could get some support there, or support others.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Unshriven · 21/05/2019 10:06

Technically, I have children, but I never post about them.

I use MN to talk to people I'd never approach in real life in a million years. It indulges my inner coward Grin.

People I don't know in Austrailia answer me in the middle of the night - mind blowing.

Baking, banking, housing, shoes, fucking Brexit... it's all here, with people willing to talk.

And the Christmas topic in June. Xmas Grin.

NewYoiker · 21/05/2019 10:07

Oh ffs! How about I joined when I thought I could have babies, had a late miscarriage and am now infertile.. what a wanky thread

HerondaleDucks · 21/05/2019 10:09

We just just come on here to wind all the real parents up

notacooldad · 21/05/2019 10:11

This again ..... we seem to have this every couple of months.
Weeks more like!!!
We need a topic that covers most frequently asked questions for discussion.

SilverySurfer · 21/05/2019 10:11

How original, never been asked this before Hmm

I have zero interest in the specific boards relating to pregnancies, children etc, but there are plenty of others eg AIBU, Chat, Pets, Relationships, Money Matters, Politics and more. Even men post on here Shock

Yabbers · 21/05/2019 10:18

Also many of us have nieces/nephews/godchildren or work in child care/teaching etc

No need to be sniffy about it. I’ve wondered that too. I’ve never seen a post about it. Your answer above explains why, and it’s an interesting point.

If OP had posted “what the hell are you all doing here” then fair enough. But it seemed like a perfectly polite question. Or are we not allowed to ask those any more?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 21/05/2019 10:19

I mean I don't post on a motorbike forum cos I don't have a motorbike

See i would, and i know many many many other people would, i grew up around motorbikes, i like motorbikes, my step granfather is sort of well known in tje
Vintage motorbike community, my half brother loves riding around europe on motorbikes, me myself i don't even drive have no intention of ever learning. I can still engage in a passion for motorbikes.

But see that rather proves the point everyones making, this forum is so much more than just parenting. Its pets, politics, history, houses, relationships, things you dont even need to bd a parent to have an intetest in. You can engage in a passion for feminism without being a parent, ypu can engage in discussion for being pro or against brexit without being a parent, you can find yourself in a relstionship sotiation that you need advice or support with without being a parent.

This is a forum well known for its "nest of vipers" you will come across people who are forthright.

You'll also realise that this forum is very often hit by people who have nothing bettet to do with their life than stir shit. Trying to question why non parents and men are on this forum is one that comes up every month. Its annoying, boring and can get rather vile (people posting views about women, banning non parents, comments about men etc) I'm very sorry, you had a genuine question but when the exprenince of this sort of thread is its started by trolls to shit stir in a community it gets to the point that indeed is the presumtion about them

ChloePenny · 21/05/2019 10:22

I agree OP, since all threads on here are purely about children HmmHmm how dare those childless women come to a community forum and want to exchange their thoughts and views with actual mothers?! How very dare they

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 21/05/2019 10:22

Also many of us have nieces/nephews/godchildren or work in child care/teaching etc
No need to be sniffy about it. I’ve wondered that too. I’ve never seen a post about it. Your answer above explains why, and it’s an interesting point

Sorry what yabbers stating that many of us have neices/nephews or work in child care is sniffy? Wow!

This thread comes uo every month as many many many posters have pointed out often started by trolls

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2019 10:27

I suppose a more interesting question would be how people discovered MN, if they have no DC, or aren't TTC etc.

I still think Penis Beaker steered a lot of posters in MN's direction. That thread was nothing to do with children at all. Plus it was posted in AIBU the most bonkers topic on here.

Original poster
Alone1971 · 21/05/2019 10:28

Thanks to those who replied with kindness. Bollocks to those who replied with venom and hate. Take a look at yourselves. Why engage with the thread in the first place if it bores/offends/was started by a troll etc etc?

OP posts:
ChloePenny · 21/05/2019 10:29

I mean I don't post on a motorbike forum cos I don't have a motorbike
I mean, I think you would post on a motorbike forum if most threads weren’t about motorbikes, just as on Mumsnet, most threads aren’t actually about raising children.

MatthewBramble · 21/05/2019 10:33

Because their lives are so empty, boring and dull without children and they are envious of all of us parents in out little bubbles of happiness?

HTH.

Downunderduchess · 21/05/2019 10:33

I find lots of the topics and other people's points of view interesting. I'm in Australia & used to see references to quite a few of MN discussions, so took a look & liked it! I was allowed to register & wasn't asked to show proof of life (of my children). Which is great because I don't have any.

GeorgeTheBleeder · 21/05/2019 10:37

Thousands and thousands of people are closely involved with children who they haven’t either given birth to or adopted. Those people may be just as interested in feeding, clothing, educating, entertaining and morally and financially supporting a child as the actual parent(s).

There always seems to be an assumption that, even if grudgingly welcome here, even glancing at parenting boards is probably wrong if you’re not in possession of a birth certificate for a new child.

But I guess that’s in line with the very odd, apparently uniquely English attitude that mother and father only constitute a child’s family. God help any grandparent, aunt, uncle, godparent who shows an interest ...

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 21/05/2019 10:43

alone now you're the one responding with anger.

Because it is frustrating when you see a site with a decent reputation be trashed by trolls. This site was hacked, is reguarly trolled, trailed througb by media outlets for "human interest stories" and decaules the site. One that the princable is a very good one. To support people.

BishopofBathandWells · 21/05/2019 10:43

I think your original post was pretty venomous actually, OP. You don't get why those who are childfree might not enjoy a site that discusses literally hundreds of comments on a daily basis? You were presumably judging them for that use? As soon as you're asked why it's anything to do with you, you then drop in that you suffer from mental health issues. It's not a Get Out of Jail Free card.

JanMeyer · 21/05/2019 10:44

I mean I don't post on a motorbike forum cos I don't have a motorbike

No, but if you were thinking of getting a bike you might post (or lurk) on such a forum for advice. Similar to how people wanting to be parents might post on mumsnet. And for some people that obviously doesn't happen. Do you think people should leave if they find out they can't have kids?
It's ironic really, you telling other people to take a look at themselves when one could say the same to you. Your question and it's phrasing is a real kick in the teeth to people who desperately want kids but can't have them. And it's even more insulting that you specify "women who don't have kids." So it's fine for men who aren't parents to post here, but not women?

amusedbush · 21/05/2019 10:51

You're going to need a thicker skin if you plan to post on MN, OP! I don't recommend venturing over to AIBU Grin

I don't have kids and I don't want them, but I live for parking threads and cheeky fuckers!

Watchingthetelly · 21/05/2019 10:52

Perfectly polite question from the OP. The vitriol in some of the responses is awful.

HerondaleDucks · 21/05/2019 10:53

I have step children. So think it's fairly valid to use mumsnet but I like the AIBU board for entertainment value.

EBearhug · 21/05/2019 11:04

Because their lives are so empty, boring and dull without children and they are envious of all of us parents in out little bubbles of happiness?

No, MatthewBramble, it's because despite not having children, we know exactly how parents should be bringing them up, and need to point out everyone else's failings.

(Not sure I've ever posted about actual parenting, except possibly in the context of the Archers.)

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