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Original poster

Homeworking with a child

26 replies

Abibranning · 21/05/2019 07:39

I've asked to work from home 2 hours a day after school 3 days a week. Going through process now. Job can entirely and easily done from home with no additional costs etc for company and DS is with family everyday after school. I know my manager's manager wanted him to refuse it as 'if she is home with DS she should be looking after him and not working'. Just wondering if this is a valid reason to refuse, I can't find any answers. Oh and he's 8.5 so would be snacking, playing, TV watching and gameplaying, with very little interaction from me. I'm just curious.

OP posts:
umberellaonesie · 21/05/2019 07:44

I worked from home for many years and even my 14 year old needed strict instructions not to disturb me. I couldn't have done it without a office with a closed door, and the kids (who were much older) not there the majority of the time.
Breaking up sibling fights, them just be generally noisy, needing help to find a particular thing for homework, club if you are there you are mum. Kids don't see the difference

StoorieHoose · 21/05/2019 07:47

Our working at home policy states you wont be granted it if you have dependents at home. What does your policy say?

CostanzaG · 21/05/2019 07:50

I work from home quite a lot- our policy is quite clear though. You are working not looking after your children. My DS goes into childcare.

We've refused requests where people have said they need to work from home because of childcare reasons.

RedSkyLastNight · 21/05/2019 07:51

2 hours on 3 days a week is quite a long time for your DS to amuse himself with no other contact. Yes, he will get used to it but whether it's feasible to work depends on the nature of your job. Will you, for example , have lots of phone calls so he won't be able to disturb you, or do you just have set jobs to complete, so finishing them later, if necessary is ok. I've never known anyone been approved to work when in sole charge of a primary age child unless they have the degree of flexibility to complete work whenever.

stucknoue · 21/05/2019 07:51

If you have a dependent at home who needs care you aren't just working, or an emergency basis it's fine but regularly he should be in childcare not with the electronic babysitter!

SandlakeRd · 21/05/2019 07:53

I WFH in a flexible basis mainly at the end of the day. I organise childcare if it is any more than an hour or so and make it very clear I am at work so should not be disturbed. My kids are 13 and 9.

IsThisIt82 · 21/05/2019 07:54

Our place of work wouldn't allow that and also I'm not sure how I would get my work done!

Have you thought about a wraparound club? It'll be more stimulating and fun - especially in comparison to being on your own for 2 hours.

I expect your work will not seek to grant it not because you 'should be looking after your son' but because you have no childcare for him therefore cannot work properly if you have children around that require your attention.

Original poster
Abibranning · 21/05/2019 07:56

He won't be with me as I say he's going to relatives as he's always done. Our policy doesn't mention it, I was just wondering. As they told another staff member she couldn't apply as didn't have a childShock

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 21/05/2019 07:58

I wfh about 4 hours a week. My job is the sort where I don't need to complete those 4 hours in one uninterrupted block, so in reality I log on about 7am and do bits here and there throughout the day. Mostly the kids are at school, sometimes they are at home. No-one cares as long as my work is completed. Which it is.

My employer's policy is that we are trusted. But if we break that trust there are no second chances.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 21/05/2019 08:02

I’ve worked from home for years and I think it’s entirely down to the child. My dd is now 12 and at the stage she’s fairly self sufficient. Walks herself to and from school, goes out with friends after school and will wait for her tea. But I wouldn’t have done it when she was 8. It’s not fair on the child if you fully concentrate on work (as you should do if you’re wfh), or not fair on the company of you don’t/can’t give 100%

DianaT1969 · 21/05/2019 08:05

Why are you seeking to work from home? 2 hours per day at the end of the day will sound like you need it for childcare reasons. As he won't be with you, what is the reason? To avoid a crowded commute?

AlyssasBackRolls · 21/05/2019 08:07

It's impossible when they are tiny but at 8.5 it's more reasonable. My similar age son would cope with that as long as he got e.g. a good bedtime story and attention afterwards.

MyThirdBestWig · 21/05/2019 08:11

"Oh and he's 8.5 so would be snacking, playing, TV watching and gameplaying, with very little interaction from me"

You say this but you also say he'd be with relatives. Which is it?

I think your boss might be guarding against the prospect of him being habitually home alone with you - as PPs say that is generally not good practice and may be completely banned by your employer. You need to convince them that it'll be your relatives will be caring for your son. Either they missed that it or they don't believe you.

IceRebel · 21/05/2019 08:12

Oh and he's 8.5 so would be snacking, playing, TV watching and gameplaying, with very little interaction from me

He won't be with me as I say he's going to relatives as he's always done.

Which is it? The first comment makes it sound like he will be at home with you, but then you say he's going to a relatives? Confused

If he's not at home with you, why the thread about working from home with a child?

MyThirdBestWig · 21/05/2019 08:12

*missed that bit

RicStar · 21/05/2019 08:28

Your OP is slightly confusing. You are not going to be home with your ds so that can not be a reason to refuse? We have someone who wfh on days her Dm picks up her dd from school (*2 per week) as saves her time commuting then getting her car driving to her mums etc. This was she can just drive to her mums at end of work. We do not allow home working where the adult is also childcare for a young (primary age) child.

Original poster
Abibranning · 21/05/2019 08:31

Obviously haven't made myself clear. I'm saying that as a normal 8 year old when he's home he's happier entertaining himself than needing me all the time. But He will be with relatives and if for any reason that were to fail he is registered with after school club that continues for an hour and a half after I finish work. So please don't worry I am not neglecting him. Yes, it's to avoid a difficult commute home, as they are about to replace the only road out of my village (predicted to take a year) and it will be a struggle to pick him up from the relatives on time after work to then get home do dinner and homework. I thought there was nothing to lose by asking as approx 75% of our workforce work from home. Either way I'm fine I was just curious. I like to try and understand both sides of arguments and find strangers are the best way to get a blunt truthful response.

OP posts:
Happycow · 21/05/2019 08:49

As PPs have said, the answers you get will be very different whether you want to WFH while your DC is with a relative (YANBU) or while he is in the house with you and no other adult (YABVU).

sirfredfredgeorge · 21/05/2019 08:52

I have to wonder what jobs require so much attention that a "hello junior fred, how was your day?" interruption and then the occasional further interruption for a couple of hours makes the work impossible, but that work can be done at home. What sort of work environment is it where there are no non-work conversations, no coffee breaks etc. as they are similar interruptions to what an 8.5 is likely to do.

We have no such restrictions at our WFH policy - failure to perform the work is what's monitored, not simply time monitoring but now remote rather than in the office.

RedSkyLastNight · 21/05/2019 08:57

If you are presenting over the phone - or on any sort of phone call to a work colleague/client really - you can't stop to have a couple of minutes conversation with your child. If you're writing a document, obviously this is perfectly possible.

isabellerossignol · 21/05/2019 08:57

sirfredfredgeorge

I was thinking the same actually. Me taking a couple of minutes to get my son a drink or to change his clothes is no more of an interruption to my work than when I'm in the office and someone comes over to ask me if I watched the finale of Game of Thrones, or if I have tried that new coffee shop next door.

isabellerossignol · 21/05/2019 08:58

If you are presenting over the phone Fair enough, I hadn't thought of that because where I work that would only ever be done in the office, not at home.

Applesbananaspears · 21/05/2019 09:20

I think a self sufficient 8.5 year old being at home for 2 hours while you work is more than reasonable. Mine is a similar age and needs no more input than yes you can have a biscuit and can you flush the toilet please. He’s more than fine to entertain himself. I do half a day with him around if I have to, but a full day is too much

MancaroniCheese · 21/05/2019 09:22

I’ve worked from home with kids around from 6 upwards. But my roles have been pick up and put down sorts in the main.

OP your situation sounds doable IMO

MyThirdBestWig · 21/05/2019 09:30

No one's accusing you of neglecting him.

I think these policies tend to be set up with younger children in mind. You need to be clear about what your work considers acceptable - I think there is a solution to be negotiated here.

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