Hi - I’ve posted about this on here before but it’s been a while and my feelings have flared up again. I have been with DP for 6 years. We were seeing each other for a couple of months before having a conversation about exclusivity and during that time I’m very ashamed to say that I had sex with 2 other men. I was only 20 at the time and still at uni - at the time I did sleep around a lot and drank stupid amounts, and both encounters were meaningless. Doesn’t make it right but I know others were doing the same, ‘seeing’ people but sleeping with others, although many of these never turned into real relationships - in my case, it did. I have never told DP about this and I don’t know why but it’s all sort of come back recently as feelings of intense shame and guilt. I know I didn’t ‘owe’ him anything then but I still feel like a horrible, unworthy person who isn’t deserving of him, even though I’ve never slept with anyone since, have been sober for 2 years, and really do feel myself to be a different person. Has anyone else ever been in this boat? I get triggered when watching a soap for example and a character mentions an affair (Sharon and Keanu storyline in Eastenders) even though I know it’s a totally different situation