How did you cope when DH went back to work?

[largecoffeeplease]

So tomorrow is DH's first day back at work after our DD was born.
We've been lucky enough for him to have been able to take 5 weeks off as I had a lot of complications post-birth (still do) but now he needs to go back 3 days a week at least.

I'm feeling really apprehensive. I'm normally a really independent person but I've become so reliant on him as I've been so ill.

Any top tips for getting through the first few days alone with baby?

I don’t understand why so many mothers have become needy and anxious. I’m sorry but it is pathetic

All the eye rolls.

Yes, how dare a woman who's just been the the biggest thing that's ever happened to her feel concerned at how she'll cope or ask for tips from those who have done it before. That attitude is awful MrsPear

@MrsPear

Needy and anxious?

I mean, I nearly died in childbirth. That sort of thing does knock you for six a little bit. I've needed assistance walking, standing up, using the toilet, feeding my baby, everything for the last five weeks. but yeah, you crack on feeling superior.

Thanks everyone for your kind responses, very reassuring to read that I'm not alone in feeling a bit apprehensive.

I managed to get up at 6am with DH and so had breakfast and managed to have a shower while he could keep an eye on DD and have popped a bit of make up on so I feel a bit more human :)

Back to bed for a cuddle!

There's no need to justify your birth. Even if you've had a textbook birth, there is no need for Mrs Pears response.

Good for you OP! You're doing amazing after a traumatic ordeal! Definitely encourage your DH to start doing you breakfast in bed before he goes to work! So even if you have a lazy morning you're fed.

Do it bit by bit and have little moments where you do something nice for yourself. My husband works nights and the first couple I sat in the dark, watching every move and listening to every breath. I wondered how I’d get through the night, then started watching random things like Peak Practice at 5am before the daytime Radio 2 schedule kicked in! Little anchors to get to in order to break up the time (yes I am tragic). I dreaded those nights, but now I look back and smile at some of those little moments in the dark, when I realised it was quite nice to have our little time. You’ll get into a routine, see what works for you. But be kind to yourself.

Hope you’re having fun!

If you can, do try and get out for a walk every day. Babies sleep really well after some fresh air, then you can nap too.

Just need to ensure you are realistic in what you can do each day. Mine went back after 3 days (no paternity leave in USA) leaving me with an autistic toddler and baby, we watched a lot of tv!

Oh and get shopping delivered, hadn't been invented when I had mine but it's a life saver, a delivery pass ideally

Set yourself up in the sofa with lots of cushions, several bottles of water and a box which sandwiches/snacks in it. This will mean you only need to get up for the loo and to change nappies :) Binge on TV! If you can manage to put the baby down, sleep when they do. My second would only sleep in my arms so I also got a travel pillow so I could slump down in the sofa, box her in with pillows all around me and drift a little myself.

It gets easier OP!

Piss off with that antiquated attitude MrsPear!

OP your Dh should (and probably is anyway) be pulling his weight, even with night feeds, even when he's going to work. That's just how it is to be a parent.

Not to mention the needy nonsense. I had a perfectly mundane delivery both times and was still apprehensive about DH going back to work. It's the unknown, of course it's scary.

Well I’m 38 woman who had corrective surgery post childbirth and I’ll still say it is very pathetic. I think you should ask for therapy to deal with the aftermath of your traumatic experenice - I believe this can be arranged by your birth team at the hospital? It will help with the anxiety too. I wish you good luck for the future.

@largecoffeeplease I hope you're coping well. Ignore negative comments, you feel how you feel and you don't need to be made to feel worse! I remember the feeling well, watching DH drive away actually made me cry. A friend suggested doing something for me everyday no matter how small it was, reading a chapter of a book, watching half an hour of TV, painting nails. It did get better, it was a slow process and I needed reminding several times that I wasn't a superhero and I'd still been through major surgery!
Take your time and enjoy little one, they grow up too fast! Take lots of photos too.

Thanks for updating your thread, I was wondering how things were going :) my baby is now 6ft 4 and taking his A level mocks as in first year of sixth form. They grow up so quickly.

MrsPear you're coming across as quite unpleasant. Your experience does not mirror another persons experience. Yours was presumably a little while ago, OPs is current. How is asking for help and tips post birth on a forum for parents 'very pathetic'?

OP, how did the rest of your week go? Have you got into the swing of things a bit? Hope you had a bit of time to relax today (assuming this is your OHs day off)!

@YetIWill thanks for checking up!
Definitely getting into the swing of things a bit. I'm so lucky that she's such a chilled out baby so I've managed to keep things relatively normal around the house and have a couple of friends over for coffee etc. I even managed to get all dressed up for a wedding over the weekend!