Why will no fucker listen to me?

[gotmychocolateimgood]

Interested to know if this is a universal thing, if I'm unlucky or doing something wrong. My family will not listen to me. I ask them to put stuff away, rubbish in the bin, remind DCs to brush their teeth, tell DH what I might cook for dinner etc. I'm either ignored, grunted at or whined at. Nobody else knows where anything is in the house and CBA looking for it. They moan about being asked to put their clean clothes away, moan when it's time for a bath, moan when it's time to get out, moan about going to bed etc etc etc. DCs have had lots of free time this weekend, screen time, garden play, going out to a couple of places, but certain things need to be done and they are so uncooperative. I don't bark orders at them, I ask nicely. And I'm unwell with a horrible condition (ME) which affects my memory, energy levels and mobility. I'm not a perfectionist house proud mother but a complete tip means we are all tripping up over toys etc. Simple manners are important, no?

And breathe.

I'm going to guess that it's related to your uterus. That's my experience anyway.

I have ME too, I also have a child with ASD and I'm a single parent so I feel your pain very much so. It's awful being the enemy. In your exact position, if you have a partner or older kids I would go on strike!

DH is fab in so many ways. He's endlessly patient with the DCs, plays with them for hours, takes them out on his own, cooks sometimes, does bedtime etc. However he's so laid back he won't notice that it's getting really late so I have to chivvy them along getting ready for bed. Then it's 8.30 before they're asleep and grumpy as hell in the morning. They are all messy lazy toads.

Don't bother looking for things for them, ever. Just cook whatever you feel like rather than telling people and then have them whine about it. And buy noise cancelling headphones to cut out the moaning.

Ooh I need some headphones / earplugs. 🙂😔🎧

Children are primary age, no special needs, entirely capable of doing everything asked of them. Generally well behaved apart from this. Good eaters, sleep well, doing well at school. But, Mother of God, the whining!

DH is fab in so many ways. He's endlessly patient with the DCs, plays with them for hours, takes them out on his own, cooks sometimes, does bedtime etc

If that's what's considered 'fab' at your house, I think you're probably due a knighthood.

OP, when DC were small I would say: I can ask you this once or twice. First time is in my nice voice. Second time I'll shout. If you don't like shouting, hear me the first time. I used to say it to DH sometimes too!

Do you ever tell them to stop whining? Short and sharp, with the 'mum voice', firm but fair, 'Stop that whining NOW. Don't you dare talk to me like that. I'm your mother, not a piece of rubbish.'

Then calmly tell them what to do again and walk away and have a cup of tea.

I have ME too.
The only thing that saved my sanity was to just STOP doing things (that was mainly for H)
And remind anyone moaning about ‘tidying up’ that the correct answer is actually ‘Thank you for washing my clothes, drying them and folding them up for me’ (that’s mainly for the dcs. After a while it does sink in)

One thing I have learnt is that the last I shouod do is push myself to do all those things when I’m exhausted and it’s going to make me feel worse. (And then I get overwhelmed, annoyed and resentful). I’ve had to learn to put myself and my health first and tell others (incl H that should have known better really) how it was.