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Would you leave your DP if you won the lottery?

94 replies

Fantasisa · 17/05/2019 12:17

DH is annoying me this week and we currently aren't talking to each other. We both think it is the other person's fault!

It got me thinking that if we won the lottery then I could totally see us buying our own properties and splitting which was a bit of a sad but probably realistic thought. Would you and your DP do the same?

OP posts:
User8888888 · 17/05/2019 15:43

Absolutely not. We’d have a fabulous time together. It’s quite a sad thread really.

DearTeddyRobinson · 17/05/2019 15:47

No, I think we'd get on even better if we weren't always so worried and stressed about money! We'd probably buy a bigger house with a man cave for him and a gym for me though.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/05/2019 15:53

An interesting question!
DH annoys the tits off me a fair amount of the time, but I wouldn't leave him even if we did win the lottery (and it would be "we", not "me")

But I'd certainly use some of the money to build the extension I've always wanted, which would give us more space for ourselves.
Who knows, he might even buy himself a "bachelor pad" in the city, so he had somewhere to sleep when he's there rather than hotels, and he wouldn't have to drive 1.5-2h home again if he was tired.

On the whole though, I think we'd stay together and share the money.

One of my friends got married recently - she'd been with her now DH several years already - but she was having a wibble and asked the rest of us if we liked being married, was she doing the right thing?
I do love DH but see above re. him annoying the tits off me - yet when it comes down to it, I'd far rather have him around than not. Which was pretty much the answer most of the others gave as well!

It's not the most romantic response, is it - but it's genuine!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/05/2019 15:58

Yes, I'd be skipping out of the door to find myself a lovely house that I could keep tidy always. I'd call in to my former home to see the kids and deliver vast vats of spaghetti bolognaise.

I feel the same way as Jacques, I think. If my husband and I split up now and then I won the lottery, I'd had him a sizeable chunk of it because I love him and I would want him to be happy.

MaximusHeadroom · 17/05/2019 16:00

Absolutely not. But we would be spending it on a house big enough for us to have our own sitting rooms and staff so we don't fight over domestic chores anymore Grin

RomanyQueen1 · 17/05/2019 16:00

I think it's a pretty sad existence to be with someone you'd leave for money. I'd feel like a failure tbh.

newjobnerves · 17/05/2019 16:06

No obviously not, if we would split if we won the lottery we may as well split now! But we also don't go days without talking to each other. You don't sound very happy?

Hobosno · 17/05/2019 16:08

Many of the “id never leave” posts also seem to involve buying a house that means you could enough space to live both together and apart! Constant mess is hard to live with, and a wing for your dc and another for your dh sounds just about right to me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/05/2019 16:09

Constant mess is hard to live with

With the lottery winning one could have a staff.

Crunchymum · 17/05/2019 16:26

He can live in the granny annexe Grin

Seriously though, more space would actually improve our relationship. We are all a bit on top of each other in our current set up (3 kids as well as DP)

bumblingbovine49 · 17/05/2019 16:35

No, absolutely not. DH makes my life immeasurably better and easier. I am not sure the same is true the other way round though , so he might leave meBlush

He might want an extension to himself ( darling introvert that he is). Not me though, I get lonely.

Ferfeckssake · 17/05/2019 16:36

In a heartbeat. Give him some money, he could go off and do his thing. And I could live the way I want to .Sad
Pretty sad.

teyem · 17/05/2019 16:38

No. I adore my dh.

lostlobster · 17/05/2019 16:38

Definitely not, he’d want a study though because he likes is own space. I, on the other hand, miss him when he goes to the loo

RamIt · 17/05/2019 16:46

I daydream about this every week. I'd run like fuck and never look back.

ChodeofChodeHall · 17/05/2019 17:32

No way, all that money would be no fun without him and I'd miss him constantly.

ChodeofChodeHall · 17/05/2019 17:35

I think it's a pretty sad existence to be with someone you'd leave for money. I'd feel like a failure tbh

Wow, harsh. People in unhappy marriages have not 'failed' at anything.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 17/05/2019 17:37

No, because I married him for him not his bank account.

GetUpAgain · 17/05/2019 17:42

We wouldn't split, I love the idea of having enough to travel, and have a cleaner and chef. I might not tell DH exactly what we won though, I've been the thrifty one for years so it would be nice to turn the tables Wink

Fantasisa · 17/05/2019 17:45

I’m not even in an unhappy marriage, perhaps just a pragmatic one! Also, for the record I earn more than DH so I’m not with him for his bank account. But it is obviously easier to run a household on two incomes.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/05/2019 17:50

I can't think of anyone who I would rather spend it with, nor who deserves it more

So, no

ohfuckoffalready · 17/05/2019 18:02

No.15 years in and I still love him more every day, can't even imagine it. (I appreciate that this is random luck and nothing I've done to specially deserve it though.)

userxx · 17/05/2019 18:10

Absolutely not, he would be my spending companion. You've inspired me to buy a lottery ticket!

catsmother · 17/05/2019 18:10

Yes, this thread is sad in places, of course it is.

But those blithely stating that others shouldn't remain in an unhappy relationship 'for money' must surely be in the fortunate position of knowing that if they had to leave, they'd be able to do so.

It's a whole different ball game if you have little or no equity, savings or other assets, if you don't have a well paid job, if you have no family or friends who have your back and are willing and able to help you emotionally, practically or financially. These considerations are compounded if you don't have youth on your side and therefore realistically are never going to get the opportunity to earn a decent wage in order to support yourself. Some older women may actually already be retired and unfortunately as attractive to most prospective employers as yesterday's news.

There is a world of difference between splitting up and accepting lifelong frugality as the price you have to pay for peace of mind .... vs .... leaving and condemning yourself to literal poverty. Quite possibly this is the worst possible time to be contemplating a split in recent memory due to the housing crisis and the introduction of UC. For anyone in need of a safety net, and who doesn't have the means to buy one, well .... there isn't one. So people stay together, unhappily, for years ... and not 'for the money', as if they're enjoying a flash lifestyle, but because they can't pretend they don't need a roof over their head and to be able to afford to eat or clothe themselves.

It is incredibly stressful to live like that of course and inevitably your mental health suffers. But there isn't a viable alternative for some people. There isn't always a way out. Rest assured most in that position will be living, or should that be existing, in wretched daily turmoil. It's not always about gold digging but about survival. Small wonder that a number of couples would reassess their relationship if their numbers came in.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 17/05/2019 18:14

I think it's a pretty sad existence to be with someone you'd leave for money. I'd feel like a failure tbh

I would love to respond robustly to that statement, but it would be classed as a personal attack, so I won't.

still thinking it though