Can I have another baby?

[CatchItGeorge]

I have 2 DC. I'm a SAHM living in military accommodation. I'm 30. DH & I have 5,000 in savings but don't own a house. We have the option of military accommodation until DH leaves the army in around 10 years time. When DH does leave the army, he gets a pay out of around £50,000.

Due to recent pay rises and a reduction in our outgoings, we now have £1400 a month after our main bills. So this money is to cover food, fuel etc and one off expenses (such as car being serviced etc) as well as day to day living expenses, which leaves us with extra that we can save.

I'm currently studying an accountancy qualification to give myself more options when I start working again and would plan on continuing with these studies.

Do you think I'm in a position to have another?

Definitely, do it now 😁 x

Honestly how many times do you have to ask this?. You keep asking the same question every other month. Just have the baby already.

Yes, I have posted before. It was longer than a couple of months ago and I just thought our change in circumstances might mean a different response.

I've gone NC with my parents in the last year which has been a really difficult time and I suppose I have a bit of a void there where I used to go to them for advice and now I don't have that option. Sorry to be a pain and to bother your all with this. It's just a big decision and, as I said, I don't have anyone I can confide in IRL.

Dont apologise for wanting to speak to someone, especially if you don't have anyone in RL!!! Ridiculously rude unnecessary reply there! At least you are sensible enough to go over a big life decision more than once, if you came on here and complained it didn't work out you'd be flamed for not having good decision making skills and for jumping in too quick. Honestly op you can't win with some people! In my opinion now seems like the perfect time for you to have another going off the above information

I have around £1500-1600 a month after bills (not food etc) and I don't think I could afford a third. I'd love to have another baby though.

Sorry to drip feed, but some other relevant information is that we already have a 7 seater car. Also, DH is likely to get a pay rise annually from now on.

How old are the other kids? Go for it if you have the means. I personally studied for a professional qualification during 3 pregnancies. It was hard work but it’s doable. I was also in full time work.

Thank you mawof3. That's really kind.

The other kids are 5 and 3 at the moment.

If you want a 3rd and feel reasonably comfortable in your situation. Which to me from what you've said, you are, I'd say go for it.
Plus 3 and 5 is the perfect age gap for a baby sibling. Good luck!!

Do you have any reasons why not?

I suppose my concerns are that we don't own a house and I've also been in debt in the past and have a fear of ending up back where I was. I don't like to take risks when it comes to money but I know it's now or never really. I need to finish my qualifications and start working in the not too distant future so that I can have a good career when DH's military career comes to an end. I just know if I don't have another, there's a real chance I'll regret it. If I look back and know we could have managed it financially, I'll wish we had gone for it. I just want to make sure that I make an informed decision rather than just going with my heart, if that makes sense.

I would in those circumstances, especially as you're studying for another qualification which will bring more financial opportunity in the future.

We manage (just) on quite a lot less than that and we have 3. For us its pretty miserable although the children don't notice a difference and we manage a couple of clubs. It's just that we have no fun money for us and have holes in all of our clothes. I'll be bringing some money in soon though so things will be better.

Your set up sounds fine though. Do a budget and see how the land lies with various future scenarios but bear in mind anything can change.

Only you can decide this! I thought 2 was plenty but now do regret not leaving the door open for more (h had the snip) but every family is different. In your circumstances I would look into whether you can invest in a property somewhere and rent it out so at the end of his career you have an asset you can either live in, sell or continue to rent out - this the advice dd has been given by the Navy

I personally wouldn't. In the 10 years between you could save up for a house, a pension and savings for your existing children so they could go to university or have a deposit for a home.

Your current 5k of savings is almost nothing in the scheme of things. Also what will you do if your DH doesn't manage to find a job on leaving the army in 10 years time, gets PTSD and so cannot work or is KIA?

Money isn't the only consideration though. Practical but not the only factor. Childcare if you do return to work, school runs, wrap around care, childcare during school holidays, bedrooms and sharing..... the list goes on

And nobody on MN (or anywhere online) can tell you definitively yes or no, only you and your DH can answer

I wouldn't even consider it. Two children is more than enough in my opinion. Focus on the future and going back to work.

Weigh up pros and cons, but then look at the pros and cons again from your DC perspective. They already have a sibling, if you have another DC any financial or time support for them will then be divided by 3.

I have 2, if I had more money when younger to make sure they would be ok I may have had more. Now my eldest is likely to want to go to University in 5 years (big cost) and I found out at 5 that youngest (now 9) has SEN, both need my support. I'm glad I just have 2. It doesn't get easier as they get older it just gets different.

Thanks for the replies. That's given me a lot to think about. If love was enough, I'd have another tomorrow.

Any other opinions greatly appreciated 👍🏻