I was in Tesco today and a man sprayed his armpits with deodorant

[Cocolapew]

Then went and opened mouthwash and had a gargle (then swallowed) and then used some hair gel.
I'm thinking he had a hot date.

He had 4 tears tattooed on his face

Quadruple murderer 😱

He didn't look old enough for 4 murders.
Maybe he'd been at the Sharpies too.

I saw a woman in M&S ripping open blusher and lipstick and slapping it on! I was agog!

Surely people will draw the line at tampons or sanitary towels?

If you are going to put some deodorant on then I suppose a cheeky spray is better than a full roll on! He obviously has a good skincare routine in Boots that masks his true age

I can't get over the SWALLOWING MOUTHWASH
This is what puzzles me about those chewable Listerine tablets that turn to liquid in your mouth. You’re supposed to chew, swish and swallow the mouthwash plus all the gunk you just rinsed out of your teeth. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I was thinking homeless too ... or just brazen.

I work in a supermarket and have seen all sorts. Half eaten baguettes discarded at the back of shelves, a box of painkillers with 2 taken out (customers obv hungry and had a headache on the way round). I find half eaten sweets. Someone even shoved a half drunk bottle of banana milkshake behind some poor selling lines to grow green and smell disgusting abfew days later.

Once a customer approached me to say there was a man helping himself to beer and there he was, tucking into a 4 pack of Stella. He didn't seem perturbed to find me and just casually wandered out of the door

I saw a mother look away when her old enough to know better child was deliberately licking her fingers then dabbing her wet fingers on fresh fruit and veg.

I used the words urchin, dirty, call the manager!

🤮🤮🤮 😷

I was skim reading and thought you said he had four EARS tattooed on his face, OP, I was thinking why, just why would you tattoo ears on your face..

My mum likes to tell me the tale every time b&q is mentioned that once in there she saw a man plain as day pick up a bottle of white spirit, open it and down the lot then walk out. I don't know if it happened or she dreamt it but I've heard it so many times!

Definitely not homeless I would say, he was dressed well, expressive sports wear type well. Probably a bit of a thug who knew nobody was going to challenge him.

Putting it back on the shelf!!
Omg.
As for the 4 tears perhaps he did time consecutively so that's why he doesn't look very old.
When I was young and worked in a city, a friend and I would often use the perfume testers before a night out after work.

Many moons ago I worked in Boots, I cant count the number of times people sprayed deodorant, aftershave and perfume. Both Male and female, all ages.

It wasnt a quick spritz either. It was always a full on spray, with clouds emanating from them. I couldn't stand the smell of lynx for a long time

My mum once saw a man in Boots purposely spraying deodorant all over the place to distract the staff while his partner shoplifted elsewhere in the store. By the time my mum had found a staff member to report it the duo had scarpered so I don't know if any more ever came of it.

@bobstersmum it was more likely to be methalated spirits, sadly, as that is what people drink when they are in serious need of something. Otherwise known as 'meths'.

I have seen a man eat an entire Cadburys cake in Tesco, a chocolate one, put the box on a shelf and carry on shopping. The smell of the 'chocolate' was sickly, heaven help his digestion.

All I can say is - Thank God you didn't see what he did in the toilet paper aisle.......!

Tear tattoo meanings:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teardrop_tattoo

I only spot the occasional toddler with half a squashed banana in hand, nothing outlandish as some of these tales. I wonder if the death of shame is a recent thing.

*bagofteeth - doesn't surprise me.
Fun fact: When I worked in Boots, the most commonly stolen item was razor blades.

when I was a bright young thing working in central Lindon it was common for me and female colleagues to go into a big Boots after work for a spray of tester perfume

I was trying to decide which of 2 Tom Ford perfumes I was going to save up for, so used to swing past House of Fraser on the way home or out for the night to try them, alternating til a clear fave emerged.

I had a school friend whose walk home from school took him through town past Waterstones. He read a whole fantasy series in a term by stopping off for ~40 mins each night on the way home. He was very thrifty, genius level clever and a fast reader. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out he’s absolutely minted now.

On a slightly different note a couple came into where I work to borrow a pen. They used it to write a birthday card. The request was so blizzard that I stood and watched them .

How did you stand, staring, for long enough to witness all that, OP?