Any other teachers/support staff find that there is an increasing amount of sexually aggressive teenage boys?

[Notcanteendutyagain]

I have noticed this over the last few years. I don't mean the silly "oooh do you fancy Miss" nonsense that dates back to my own school days, but boys who are often only twelve or thirteen, using the most disgusting sexual language and threatening behaviour towards the female staff.

In my last school, we had a boy tell a female teacher he'd "shut her up with his dick", one member of staff who was pregnant went on maternity leave early, because she couldn't stand the way one boy was behaving around her - comments about her bump, staring at it, talking about how everyone knew she'd had sex.
This was on top of the daily comments on appearance, claims that they can smell fish in female teacher's classrooms. Not to mention the amount of English essays which were basically porn.

I've just found out that a new boy is arriving at my current school - he was asked to leave his last one for sexually harassing female pupils and staff members. Now he's just being shifted sideways to another school, with no additional support put in place.

I have also noticed that the way many of the boys speak to the girls in their classes has changed too - lots of sexual talk, anal sex is frequently mentioned, disparaging comments about public hair. They don't seem to care if adults can hear

I don't seem to remember this from my own school days. We weren't angels by any stretch of the imagination, but we simply wouldn't have sat in class talking about anal sex, and the idea of a boy sexually harassing a female teacher would have just never occurred to us, it simply would not have happened.

I don't know if I'm just getting old and looking at things with rose tinted glasses, but there seems to have been a distinct change in boy's attitudes

Op you are right, this is a really worrying trend, l am not a teacher but a parent of a 13 yr old girl and l really worry for her safety at school..

When l was at school the worst that happened was old copies of Playboy being circulated and sniggers at the word.. tampons.

Posted too soon.....

I was talking to someone who works at our local PRU and he says it's porn. A lot of the boys have unlimited access to the Internet from an early age, and of course they've found porn, and it's not just Page 3 nicked out of their dad's paper any more. He reckons that in years to come there's going to be a huge backlash regarding porn, the types of porn young people are accessing and the effect it is having on their developing minds.

I was interested to hear other people's thoughts on this -it seems like it's been something of an unspoken issue, in the schools I have been in anyway

Hard to say. I personally haven't but I'm old now. When I was younger, certainly had loads - had my arse smacked, comments about my breasts, asked on dates ()

I think they just see me as past it now, which is fine by me!

I'm afraid it's the porn culture. 90% of children have seen porn by age 14 according to internetmatters. Porn is degrading, demeaning and full of anal. That and a lack of supervision of phone use. They are completely desensitized. You are not imaging it. In our day, porn was really only available in magazines as still pictures to teenagers. Not videos 3 clicks away

There's a similar thread in the staff room that you might be interested to read to OP

I've been shocked by the sexual language used between them and their peers. Usually in private but comes out. Like really shocked, and from quiet who would NEVER say it to an adult. I think it is porn culture to be honest too.

You're absolutely right and porn is to blame. I tea h in an independent school that Boots pupils fast for this kind of behaviour but very little seems to be done in the way of what happens when they move on. I love where I work but it annoys me that this seems to be a case of "well it's another school's problem now". Safeguarding referrals are made but TBH I have little faith in those these days too

May I ask then as a parent what do you as a teacher do about this?

It's not just teenagers. I've worked with primary age children for the last 5 years and some of the comments they make are vile. Also, as each year goes by, it seems like the age for such comments gets younger and younger.

May I ask then as a parent what do you as a teacher do about this?
Referrals to work with agencies that work with kids who exhibit sexually harmful behaviour
We use the Brook Traffic Light Tool to assess
Need
We do not just shove kids to a different setting without support. That's just passing the problem around and we work closely with local schools
Use of exclusions where necessary but not standalone

They get pulled up on the casual chit chat.
Reported and occasionally suspended for the really bad behaviour...

And then.... Nothing. It all just fades into the ether. Until the next time.

Also exhibiting sexually harmful/inappropriate behaviour is sometimes an indicator of that child having been abused. Again, assess and map out concerns before deciding if/what referrals and support are needed.

Yep I've noticed this too, not particularly in relation to female staff members, more towards their female classmates. Some of them make my skin crawl and I feel very sorry for the girls growing up in this environment.

I have taught for over 20 years in primary, mainly in y6. Children have always experimented with using 'adult' language but I have been shocked at some of the language I have heard in the past 2 years. The casualness with which sexually aggressive language is directed towards girls is worrying. I have spoken to parents and they fall into 2 categories- some are shocked and let their children know it is unacceptable, the others (more than half) are also shocked but minimise the behaviour. On several occasions I have been told they don't know what the word means, even though the language has been used in context and the children are well aware it is not acceptable.

On several occasions I have been told they don't know what the word means

These are also the ones who trot out the line "well they must have heard it at school"

They bury their heads in the sand, and ignore the unrestricted internet access, or online gaming with random strangers.

Because it can't possibly be their fault.

Many parents now refuse to restrict any electronics as if their darling will implode if they have to put their iPhone away for the night. Don't get me started on ones who send in "notes" saying it's ok for Jonny to have his phone in class in case mummy needs to get hold of him

This is truly terrifying. I have a 3 year old daughter and 1 year old son and I worry about this already. How they will be treated, how will I cope and teach them to deal with these situations.

I feel sorry for teachers who are subjected to the things up thread.

I believe it all starts in the home and what kids are exposed to

@user1471514421
Whether it starts at home or not is irrelevant. Your child will still be affected by abusive speech and behaviour, whether they participate or not.
2 snapshots:
•1970s 12 years old at primary school- we were shocking! Lots of snogging and flashing and sharing ‘porn’ which was mainly written and at a push, boobies.
•teaching in the early nineties. Very difficult school with a lot of problems, deprivation, low attainment, practically universal fsm etc. It was however a lovely place to be pregnant. Cussing was restricted to yer mum and batty boy and certainly never to adults. I was outraged one weekend going to a busy gallery and the crowds didn’t part for me.
I do think the current over sexualised environment via porn online is a strong argument for single sex education.

Etino, absolutely, that's why I said I was terrified, of what my children will be exposed to, regardless of what I teach them

My daughter had a boy in class tell her in year 5 that "rape doesn't count if the girl enjoys it"
Children have told her what a paedo is.
She was called a c*t at the park years ago by another child much younger than her and the latest problem we have encountered was road rage with vile language being used w*ker and hand gestures to go with it.
I don't recall knowing such awful words at her age. It feels like no matter how much you protect your own kids from it they pick it up from somewhere.
Its not just sexualized comments at girls either it's homophobic comments towards boys who don't conform to stereotypes! I hate what our children are growling up around.

I'm not a teacher but have heard 11/12/13 year olds saying the most vile things on the way home from the school run.

I know when I was that age the boys weren't exactly polite but there was more of a cheekiness to it than an actual contemptuous tone.

I do despair for my girls as they gown up.

It is a really worrying trend and I am afraid it’s just going to get worse. Even among the educated parents I know I have come across quite a few who think that it’s up to kids to “self regulate” their use of phones, internet etc... But even port aside, we live at a time when women’s bodies are sexualised more so than they were ever before.

It’s horrific and something I am seeing more of at work. When I was asked if I had children and I said 3 I was told ‘your cunt must be well baggy, can your husband even touch the sides?’ That was by a year 8, 12 year old boy. Like a previous poster the parents told me he didn’t know what it meant.

They are constantly calling girls slags and talk about sex in a way that can only be known about from either having sex or watching porn. They talk about the extremes like fisting and gagging.

There also seems to be a shift in that girls aren’t equal to them anymore. There has been quite a lot of comments about how they will just be mums and shag pieces so why are they even trying at school.

Parents need to be stricter and have internet restrictions. I worry how this generation is going to be when they are older. They already have such a warped idea of sex it’s scary.

Also I think that the U.K. should ban free porn sites like China bans Facebook. I do feel that more needs to be done to protect our children from being able to access porn in a few clicks.

This thread makes me so sad. Wish I could wrap my little one up in cotton wool forever. He'll be in those secondary school classes in 6 years!

I work in a pretty tough school. I've been looking at Sampson and Gregory in R&J and both my most challenging groups get that Sampson's rape jokes are way beyond acceptable today. I remember a few years ago that a boy was horrified when I quietly pointed out to him that a statement he'd made sounded like victim blaming. I tend to disagree.

However there is a very obvious disrespect for female teachers.