Impulsive/violent DS

[KindergartenKop]

DS1 has trouble keeping his temper and lashes out at DS2 (They are 7 and 4). He always regrets it afterwards but maintains that when he's annoyed he can't control himself. How can I help him control his anger and be less nasty to his brother?

Bump?

I suspect there are two sides to this.

The younger one may be annoying the older one - this also needs sorting.

The older one needs to be given alternatives for expressing his annoyance.

Mine are 9&7. I’ve had to spend a lot of time intervening and helping. The best thing is to intervene before it kicks off. If it does kick off, I’ll stop any violence but will always listen to each side of the story.

After a few goes, my oldest is much calmer now towards the youngest (in fact it’s the youngest who needs more reminding!)

He has to learn to control himself and you have to teach him.

Have a Google for different techniques and introduce to him the 2 or 3 that you think would suit him best. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. He won't get it immediately.

Praise him when he makes a good choice.

Reprimand him when he makes a bad one (but not excessively because that won't help).

Talk to him about his emotions so you give him the language to do it for himself. For example say 'I can see you're getting very angry with DC2, I think some time away from him would help you to feel better'.