What makes you an aristocrat? (Light hearted!)

[hatethinkingupnamechanges]

You know thing about how posh people don't buy their own furniture? (I learnt this from watching Downton Abbey.) I'm looking around my two bed, ex councilflat and I actually haven't bought any of my own furniture, it's all inherited from my gran (as we were clearing out her house at exactly the same time as I was moving into mine), my gran's friends, passed on by relatives who emigrated, or left by the previous owners of the flat.

As I do not buy my own furniture, I am therefore proclaiming aristocratic status. 🤣

What makes you an aristocrat?

I own a book called 'How to Run a Stately Home'! It was written by the Duke of Bedford and George Mikes as a real guide. It tells of the Duke's struggles to make Woburn Abbey a going concern.
My house is a 1930's suburban edifice, though...

I have FISH FORKS (and knives) in my cutlery drawer (that's mostly where they remain to be honest unless all the normal cutlery is in the dishwasher and someone needs to butter their bread for a chip butty cucumber sarrrndwich)

I have horses and my house is covered in dog hair. My OH wears a knackered Barbour and we both drink constantly from 6pm onwards. We is dead posh.

We have Labradors
We can’t afford to heat the whole house
All of DHs jumpers have holes in
I keep the cereal in Tupperware

Various members of my family are known to occasionally suffer a flare up of gout. This seems like a very aristo malady as my trashy regency romance novels are full of evil old earls with gout.