DP never likely to meet DCs /attend family occasions. Dealbreaker?

[JustNotHappy]

I’ve been with my DP for about 3 years & we’ve lived together for 18 months.
I have older DCs 21 & 18.
I met DP when my Ex & I we’re separated. My DC took the separation very hard.
I should have tried harder to reconcile with my Ex & he did try very hard.
I was definitely ‘blinded ‘ by new flattery - that I admit.
Anyway fast forward & DP & I are living in a completely new town & starting again.
I know I made my bed but I loathe waking up every single day.
I make excuses to stay out beyond work hours because I dread going home. We are so isolated.
Both my DCs refuse to ever see DP - they quite rightly think if it wasn’t for him we’d still be a family.
I know people say time heals but I know this will never be healed. I look at a future of never having any occasions together- ever.
I feel like an outsider on their lives looking in & it feels like it’s destroying me

'Never' is a long time.
18 and 21 yr olds will mature and go through different relationships themselves. Then they will begin to understand that sometimes a relationship has run its course and that every person deserves to be happy and not necessarily committed to a relationship that is making them unhappy.
I would suggest continuing to see them without dp, and just keeping the door open rather than trying to force anything or give any ultimatums.
It is sad, but presumably there is a reason you left their Dad ?

Agree with the advice above that maturity and time may change your DC. It also may not, so I agree with keeping the door always open but not forcing contact between your DP and DC this could only damage your relationship with them.

Can I suggest that you consider how you feel as a deprecate challenge? You mention feeling isolated but being in a new area. Can you and your DP look at joint hobbies that you have and use this to create a new social circle for you both? Also do the same to make a social circle just for you? Try to socialise with colleagues and neighbours as well. You may find things in common that can make the foundation for a friendship. Moving to a new area and only knowing each other must be very difficult, I'm sure you would both benefit from some time with others