Next door arguing - when do you get involved/call the police?

[Miserynextdoor]

My neighbours argue pretty frequently, at least a couple of times a week. The arguments mostly consist of the man shouting and swearing, he is so aggressive it makes me cringe. I can hear his gf argue back, but she is much quieter. The police were called last summer after I heard her shouting ‘stop strangling me’.

She is now heavily pregnant, I don’t want to call the police every time they row but when do you intervene in this type of situation that involves a pregnant young woman and soon, a baby? I’ve not heard anything worrying recently, just lots of swearing and banging and slamming doors.

Do you think she's in danger? If you do then call.

No, if I thought he was going to hurt her I would call. I guess I’m worried about when the baby comes and if they carry on shouting and screaming with a child in the house.

If you can hear a lot of banging and you know they are arguing and he's been violent before, then certainly it's best to call. He could be throwing her into stuff. You have reason to be concerned and the police can investigate.

Better than to leave it and hope for the best.

If you felt that calling the police would be over the top then you could contact the health visitor team for your area, google should be able to give you the
phone number. You wouldn't have to give your name, just that you've heard them arguing and you're concerned. They should do domestic violence screening with her as part of their pre-birth and post-birth visits but if they're aware then they can take whatever monitoring or safeguarding steps they think are appropriate.

Gosh this is so hard. About 10 years ago (before we moved house) we were woken up in the night by next door having a massive row. She’d been having an affair and he’d found out! They had kids in the house (boys around 12-14, both autistic). The row was terrible, loads of shouting, banging, screaming, crying etc. We almost called the police(seriously considered it) but were worried about appearing as interfering neighbours, who were over reacting Then it all quietened down. Think he left the house. When we saw the women the next day she had a black eye and a split lip. She was in quite a bad way. I really wish was had called the police looking back. If it sounds bad please do call the police.

I would call. Yes, it might be that everything is ok. But imagine the worst case scenario? I wouldn't want to take the risk. DV and maternal stress impacts on the unborn baby.

Violent abuse of women frequently escalates when they are pregnant so if there is already form here.... I think I might call the non-urgent line for the police to express concerns, and I think calling the local GP practice/midwife service/HV is a good idea too.

If you feel she’s in danger call the police.

She won’t have a health visitor yet depending on how pregnant she is but you can make a safeguarding referral online through your local MASH. Google it and it will come up, you can do it anonymously if you wish.

What a horrible situation! I probably would call them and hope the girlfriend doesn't play it down.

wif thank you, I have looked up MASH and will do an online referral.
Thank you everyone else for giving your opinions, if I thought he was doing anything violent I would call 999 immediately, but can’t do that every time I hear them shouting. However, I will definitely call the non urgent line in the morning to get some advice. Whilst I most definitely don’t want her to be hurt and certainly not whilst she’s pregnant, I am scared for the poor mite being born into this kind of household.