Do you worry about your drinking?

[Cookiedoughforbreakfast]

Hi,

I have always drunk a bit sometimes a lot too much, but I never drink to get drunk, so most of the time, I just convince myself that it's ok, I'll start cutting down next week etc, but it never really happens and as I get older, I'm starting to really worry about it.

As the weather gets better, I probably end up drinking more, because it's so nice sitting outside in the sun with a glass of GnT or chilled wine. For me, it's one of life's pleasures and I don't want to give that up.

Take this weekend, for example- Sunday, especially, was a gorgeous day here and DP and I went out to a really nice pub, sat outside and had a couple of glasses of wine. However, when we got back, it didn't stop there. I have that feeling and I don't want it to stop. I knew we had half a bottle of wine in the fridge, so thought that would be ok to share when we got home. Then DP suggests on the way back, that we get a bottle of prosecco and I protested for....oooo....5 seconds? So we end up drinking that, half that bottle of white and another half bottle of red we didn't realise we had

The thing is, I don't usually drink in the week anymore, so actually have cut back, but on average at the weekends, I'd say I drink two- two and a half bottles wine. Sometimes more (like this weekend) sometimes less, but it's too much.

I'm starting to get the next day fear. Actually, it's more a feeling of shame now. When I think about what I've done to my body, I feel a bit disgusted with myself and my anxiety spirals.

I don't have any other vices. I eat well, don't smoke etc, so I do feel it's my treat. Again, it's too much though and actually, how is something which is really bad for you, a "treat"?

Not sure why I'm posting really. Would be good to hear from others who can relate maybe.

TIA

Yes I struggle too once I've started to put the brakes on. The reality is it becomes a psychological reward at the end of a busy week but starts becoming an addiction.

Maybe try to take a month or trip off to give your body a detox and cleanse (you will lose some pounds in the process). And re-set the dial - no more than a certain number of glasses or none at all. But you may have to cope with the partner too as you both have the dependency going on and it's become a couple thing.

I don't have a very good off switch. So I buy mini bottles of prosecco or cava. If I buy a normal bottle I want it all. DH is in recovery which is very sobering in itself plus I don't feel its fair on him to drink a lot.

No. Alcohol ages the skin terribly so I have always avoided it as much as possible. I will have a brandy at Christmas, the occasional Pimms in the summer and a glass of champagne at an event but other than that it’s best avoided. I never ever drink wine.

Have to add I only have a drink every couple of weeks or so. Cold lemonade in a nice tumbler is a good substitute.

I find as soon as I have one drink I want another 10 so it's easier for me not to drink at all. I sleep badly when I drink and feel anxious and depressed the next day (even if I've only had 2 drinks). I now only drink socially and rarely at home. I used to be such a big drinker, always the last one standing. I don't miss those days.

I used to. It went from my never drinking when I was breastfeeding (I did before that but was young so it was a weekend thing) to slowly building up to 5 to 8 units a day. I felt like it was something I enjoyed and it helped me relax at the end of the day. In fact it was just a very bad habit and it was making my mental health worse in the long run as I was just drinking away my feelings and not dealing with them properly. I was starting to hate myself because I couldn't seem to cut down. So I just stopped entirely. For a year. And it turned out life was fine without alcohol and after a month or so I didn't even miss it. I went back to drinking a bit after that year but the habit was broken so it became a social thing again. Over the last 5 years I cut down more and more and now I barely drink. I'm much happier without alcohol. It took a while to realise that even after I stopped but it did make me anxious a lot, ruined my sleep, wasted so much time and money etc etc. It's like smoking. You think you love it and life will be crap without it. You're wrong and kidding yourself.

Pre- pregnancy I drank anything from 2-4 bottles of wine a week, Friday- Sunday only usually. I'd say an honest average was 3 bottles, more at Christmas etc.

I knew it wasn't good for me but I enjoyed it hugely.

It has been very easy to stop though and I have hardly missed it at all. I feel so much better than i did before. I am going to try to not slip back to drinking that much once baby here! It has saved a lot of £ but also calories!

We used to spend at least £40-£50 a week on wine, DH has cut down too so we're both looking better for it.

I have over 150 different bottles of gin in the cupboard (collect them)

So i'm not going to worry until they are gone. Will take me a few years mind!

Thanks for the replies so far.

This is making me wonder if I really should just quit altogether. I thought giving up in the week would be difficult, but it wasn't.

It's so much part of our culture now. It's how we relax, celebrate, commiserate.

Problem is, I love it, but only at the time. The anxiety, poor sleep, hangovers...not so much.

When I seriously think about quitting, I panic a bit. But what will I do when we go on holiday? What will I do at Christmas? When I meet my friend who loves a drink? When I've had a really stressful day?

Find a nice soft drink that you like. Try it... You will save so many calories you can have a slice of cake as well!

As I've got older I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel the next day. If i drink too much it makes me feel ill. Wine affects me even after one glass it can affect my sleep etc.

I may have a couple of glasses of wine on a weekend . I do enjoy a drink esp in the sun or in a pub with friends or my partner. Once a week ish. I'll have a bit more if I'm out on a proper night out but it lasts longer and I drink less cos I don't want the hangover.

Luckily I've never been into drinking after a tough day or at home or in the week really, so it is just weekend/day off or night out/special occasions. Prob less than one bottle a week. I've not drank for two weeks as I've been working weekends.

I have a feeling I'll be more or less tea total in a few years as I already am drinking less and less

Yes, this is me to a (gin and) T.

My whole social life revolves around it. I am late 30's, single with no kids so sitting in alone gets boring. Sitting or meeting friends inevitably leads to drinking but I can't blame them, it's me. The problem is I have absolutely no 'off' switch. I can rarely just have one glass of wine, I start to get 'the feeling' too then it's oh I'll just get another bottle.

Every week when I wake up with the fear and major anxiety (I get big memory blanks) I resolve to stop, have a month off etc but when I leave work on a Friday, meet a friend, it's sunny, I'm happy, I'm sad, it creeps back in. It's not every night but enough to affect me, my anxiety, the junk food/excess calories that comes with it which is why I can't lose weight, my skin etc.

Don't have any answers I'm afraid but I definitely sympathize!

Totally sympathise op. I love the way alcohol makes me feel all warm and fuzzy at the time but like you, my anxiety spikes the next day.
My mum was a non functioning alcoholic so I have a lot of guilt that I am becoming her too. On average I drink 3 bottles of wine at the weekend and nothing Monday- Friday. I love a binge! I know it’s not a terrible amount but it’s enough to worry me.

The main thing that worries me is that I think about it a lot and would like to drink every day of the week. That is not a healthy thought process but I’m not sure what to do about it.

I'm a bit like this. I can stop after one or two, especially at home.
But for me there's no middle ground between the third drink and having a dozen.

As I've got older my hangovers have worsened to the point that I never want another one, which basically means I've stopped drinking outside of the house, unless I known I'm having lunch with a particular group of friends who feel similarly, and we'll all just have one and then onto soft drinks.

I really hate that other people struggle to accept this though. One group of friends makes me feel like a miserable sod for not drinking, even though I still stay out late, have a laugh and a dance and join in the rounds.

Ones too many, twos not enough, oh yes.

I have 2 small glasses of wine a night, whilst cooking dinner. This is more than I used to drink but it's how I relax after work.

I've bought a bottle of gin and will have that at the weekends, I bought mini tins of tonic so I'll only have 1 gin and tonic, rather than buy a huge bottle and finish it in 2 days I. e. 5 gin and tonics per night. Maybe you could try that?

Does sound like your wine binge was a one off though

Have a read of this.

The Easy Way for Women to Stop Drinking www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785991930/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2KQ2CbCMESWDE?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I'm giving myself one more chance to learn to stop at one. The above book made me see the benefits of stopping getting drunk... drinking today steals tomorrow's happiness.

There is an alcohol support board with lots of lovely people.

Club soda is a good resource. I'm doing their supported mindful drinking course.

I know what you mean. I did dry January and it was really hard to start with but it really was a case of breaking the habit. Once I got used to not drinking every day it was easier. I now rarely drink during the week and my tolerance for alcohol has gone down so I don't usually drink as much when I do have a drink.

I can relate to that feeling on a glass of wine or two which you don't want to end. But I've found that carrying on past a certain point doesn't improve the feeling and makes the after-feeling more unpleasant - because after all, it's got to stop sometime.

I've not been as big a drinker as some of you - I've always had more non-drinking than drinking days in an average month - but when I found I was getting into the habit of opening a bottle of wine at home at a weekend and finishing it over the next week (dh doesn't drink, so it was always me on my own), I began to find it unhealthy, even though objectively a bottle of wine over 4-7 days isn't a 'large amount' of alcohol. So at the beginning of this year I stopped drinking at home (I will open a bottle of wine when friends are here for dinner, but otherwise not). I have bought some 250ml bottles to have in for very rare treats (so I don't open a bottle and then decide it'll go to waste if I don't finish it), but they remain untouched. Over the last four months I have had some wine on 1, 2, 4 and 10 days in that month respectively (the last being due to holiday/socialising). One day this month so far. Having tea or flavoured lemonade in the evenings instead really doesn't make a difference to my quality of life.

But I've found that carrying on past a certain point doesn't improve the feeling

This is something I keep hoping I'll remember, when I'm drinking, but I only seem to remember this when I'm not.

It reminds me of something my dad used to say about smoking. "You're smoking to find that 'perfect' cigarette". Once I get "that feeling" after a couple of glasses, I'm basically just wanting to increase that feeling or at least maintain it, but actually, once you've reached that point that tells you you want more, you've peaked and you're only going to decline after that

I say all this sober...

I never regret not drinking. It feels good waking up the next day. I don't keep alcohol in the house. If its not there I can't drink it!

Yeh I miss it SO much (pregnant). I'm due in 9 weeks and can't fucking wait. How do people not miss it?!

Way back in uni days I got so drunk a couple of times that I was sick and acted like an ass.

After that I cut back and would just drink socially. But I never enjoyed casual drinking. I don't like the instant silliness, the smell, the tedium, the fatigue the next day. I would only drink to be sociable. As you said, it's sort of how we socialise.

A few years ago, I decided that if I didn't want to drink I wouldn't. I just have tonic and lime if I'm out. At Christmas or whatever I have a soft drink. No one has ever mentioned it to me and my social life hasn't suffered.

Why not just take a month off alcohol and clear the cobwebs?

I could've written your post myself. Only saying to DH last night that I might try and give booze up for a while. I love drinking and drink alot but the hangovers are getting worse the older I get and I hate that I feel so shit the following day. I was really poorly at the weekend and was gutted when I realised I'd missed a whole day of sunshine just because I'd drank too much the night before.

Kake, I actually didn't miss it that much when I was pregnant and I don't think I'll miss it if I'm pregnant again 🤞Not sure why. Maybe because I knew it was just not an option, so I was in the right mind set.