Struggling to cope.

[CRAIGMUM2]

Hi all,

I'm new to this so this is my first ever post. Looking for a bit of help. My LO is nearly 4 weeks and I feel like I'm struggling. She has reflux and the last few days just seems to be so unsettled with me its really stressing me out. Our HV has changed her milk to aptamil anti reflux and to start with it helps but now she seems to just hate it. I feel as if everyone is just waiting for me to crumble and I think that day is coming. If in company and she cries people automatically say "oh what's wrong with her" I feel terrible to say I actually don't know and I feel like some of my family think I'm.a bad mum because she isn't this perfectly settled baby. I'm dreading taking her out anywhere incase people judge me and her. I'm scared to say anything to my HV because its admitting that I cant cope. Amy advice would be great. Xx

Be honest with your HV or see your GP, there's no shame in finding it tough.

Don't spend time with people who aren't supportive. You don't have to go out if you don't want to. Stay home on the sofa and snuggle your baby if that's what you need to do.

Keep seeking help with the reflux issue. Hold her upright. Do you have a sling? Lots of babies with reflux like being upright in a sling.

Is your DH/DP supportive?

My HV comes today and it's the first time I'll have seen her on my own so I'll speak to her. Might be through tears. Yeah he is but I dont want him to feel like hes married to a failure.

I'll speak to HV again about the reflux. Shes rarely eaten the last few days and just seems to want to fight the bottle. Hiccups after every feed that upsets her as well.

Tha is for your reply. Xxx

Definitely speak to HV. It will probably help to have a good cry also tbh. No shame in that whatsoever!
You're a new mumma. Baby has reflux. It's exhausting. Of course you feel vulnerable and upset. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. None of us in tune with what our baby wants at only 4 weeks. It takes a good while before you have it all figured out. I was flying by the seat of my pants most of the time as a new mum. Same for virtually all of us.
You are definitely not a failure. Reflux babies can be especially tricky and the pp above had good suggestions. Your HV will too.
You'll honestly get through this tricky bit

Thank you for your reply, it helps all. HV was great and made me feel much better. They have given her gaviscon for the reflux so hopefully that helps her. She is going to call me every few days. Today has been a better day. Xxxx

That's greatCRAIGMUMglad you're feeling better.

GLad you’re feeling better after seeing HV. BE kind to yourself. Do what you need to do to keep yourself and baby happy. Ask for help when you need it. It will get easier. Congratulations on your new baby

Thank you so much for your replies. Xxx