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Original poster

Dd1 is off school being sick

53 replies

lucysmam · 13/05/2019 08:03

She's 12.

She says she'll be fine alone while I go to work this afternoon (dinner lady then afternoon ta).

I'm going to sort someone to be with her but wondered if, at 12, you'd have left your dc home alone for max 4 hours?

OP posts:
NameChangeSameRage · 13/05/2019 08:55

Yes I would, assuming a)she's happy to be left and b)isn't very unwell. Seems I am in the minority!

MummyBear2352 · 13/05/2019 09:00

@lucysmam
It all depends on your situation...

How mature she is, how much common sense she has and if she understands and can control risks.

What your neighbours are like (if you can have a word to just tell them, to keep an eye and like wise to tell your daughter to go over / call if they need help).

I see no problems at all with it! Unless her illness required monitoring....

titchy · 13/05/2019 09:10

She could choke on vomit, deteriorate with fever etc.

Why would a 12 year old choke on vomit? Presumably an 18 year could too and I'm guessing no one would bat an eyelid at an 18 yo home alone ill. Deteriorate with fever? She's got a stomach bug not malaria!

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PeachesAndMayo · 13/05/2019 09:16

I would trust her for a couple of hours at that age but not much longer. And not really if she's being sick. She'll likely just settle onto her bed and watch old Friends reruns on her laptop...

BlingLoving · 13/05/2019 09:18

For a tummy bug, yes, I'd have no problem with this. A 12 year old should be more than competent to be at home for a few hours alone and while ill is likely to be simply sitting watching rubbish tv anyway.

Karmin · 13/05/2019 09:26

Depending on the 12 yr old yes I would ill or not, I have a DS1 aged 12 and he would be in bed on his mobile playing a game. I wouldn't leave him for the whole day but an afternoon would be ok.

I would text/call a couple of times, but that would be to reassure me and not him.

I would also make the neighbours aware as DS gets on with them and would ask them to check on him from a distance, but we live rurally in a community so I know they would be happy to, as I have done for them.

Comefromaway · 13/05/2019 09:29

Yes I would and have.

I wouldn't leave them whilst they were ill but if recovered and just waiting out the 48 hour exclusion then I would absolutely leave them home alone.

Northernsights · 13/05/2019 09:35

I would too if they were happy to be left - as long as they weren't being violently sick. I'd make sure they had the number of someone close by in case of issues and call or text a couple of times to check they were ok. Probably wouldn't move off sofa / out of bed if they weren't well anyway.

Springwalk · 13/05/2019 11:28

titchy It happens. And at twelve she is just a child and will not necessarily know what to do, an eighteen year old almost certainly will. It is about maturity.
It is quite sad to leave a sick child on their own all afternoon.

titchy · 13/05/2019 14:29

And at twelve she is just a child and will not necessarily know what to do

Presumably cough if she's choking, and puke into a basin if she's puking.

I agree it's not ideal leaving an ill child home alone, but sometimes needs must, and at 12, for a few hours, kids should be able to cope with lying on the sofa with a sick bucket, several glasses of water, a mobile phone and the tv remote.

Luaa · 13/05/2019 14:30

Agree with others, a well and sensible 12 year old yes. A sick one, no.

getback · 13/05/2019 14:53

I have left my 12-yr old for several hours many times. Some of these responses are ridiculous. Infantilising young people is why some are so completely incapable in their teens when they should be taking on more responsibilities and learning independence.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/05/2019 14:55

I would so long as they were happy to be left.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 13/05/2019 16:44

It's got nothing to do with helpless teens! The poor child has a vomiting bug and will be feeling ghastly. It's about caring for someone who is unwell.

Springwalk · 13/05/2019 18:21

That is what I think too, obviously fine if they are well. Being there for a sick child is kind of fundamental. Unless it is a complete emergency.

I find MN so disheartening sometimes. Lots of dc just left to it whether it is all summer on their own or being ill. They are not even teenagers yet.

AuntieStella · 13/05/2019 18:25

I don't like to leave my teens if they are actively chucking up.

If just droopy, and no symptoms which I feel need monitoring, then yes I would leave them if I needed to be elsewhere.

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/05/2019 18:42

Leaving them doesn't mean you are a terrible uncaring parent, some kids would be fine to watch TV/doze for a few hours so long as they had someone to call if needed.
Others really wouldn't want to be left.

So long as your child is the former, I can't see the problem.

booellesmum · 13/05/2019 18:47

Mine have been left alone for the day from 7.45 to 6.00 pm from the age of 11 (senior school) while I went to work.
I wouldn't leave them if they were sick though - I'd take a day off.

Springwalk · 13/05/2019 18:49

Of course they would survive, assuming its isn’t anything serious but what is the message to a sick twelve year?

getback · 13/05/2019 19:39

It's got nothing to do with helpless teens! The poor child has a vomiting bug and will be feeling ghastly. It's about caring for someone who is unwell

Sorry but most of the posts are very much focused on the age

bibbitybobbityyhat · 13/05/2019 20:05

Well the age is irrelevant. It's the illness that makes the difference.

titchy · 13/05/2019 20:12

Well the age is irrelevant. It's the illness that makes the difference.

The age is vital!!! I'm sure even MNers would baulk at taking a day off work to look after a puking 20 year old!

Springwalk · 14/05/2019 09:46

If you can’t look after your kids even when they are ill, I guess the message is you really don’t care very much about them, that almost anything and everything comes before them.
You are by default making the child feel pretty worthless. Yes if you are a surgeon and peoples lives are hanging in the balance, or a high court judge, the impact on others could literally be life saving/changing. Possibly this is the exception. Even then we have roles like that, we have to question why our kids are taking such a back seat when it comes to our priorities in life?

Catchingbentcoppers · 14/05/2019 09:59

I didn't leave DS while he was throwing up a few weeks ago and he's 15. It's bad enough feeling like shit never mind having to clean up sick etc.

Catchingbentcoppers · 14/05/2019 10:01

If you can’t look after your kids even when they are ill, I guess the message is you really don’t care very much about them, that almost anything and everything comes before them.

That's really unfair @Springwalk. Some people need to go to work to pay their bills. I'm in a fortunate position these days that I can have time off of I need it, but 10 years ago if I didn't work, I didn't get paid.