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Original poster

Kids invited to stay with relatives with unfenced swimming pool... wwyd?

69 replies

SkaterGrrrrl · 12/05/2019 20:52

I just feel so uneasy about this! Very close, very dear relatives have invited the kids to sleepover. They have a swimming pool with no fence around it. DC1 can swim, DC2 cannot (despite weekly lessons- they will get there eventually!) Relatives assure us they will supervise, but I'm just getting a 'no' feeling about DC2 around that pool. What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 12/05/2019 21:17

"Why would the adults not support him?"

The million dollar question! They should but I don't feel 100% sure. They are nice, responsible people but something in my gut is concerned. Whereas for example if my sister or my MIL were supervising the kids in deep water, I would trust them completely to keep DC safe.

OP posts:
Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 12/05/2019 21:19

I need to do some work now but thank you for your replies and I will check in later.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/05/2019 21:21

Will they definitely be swimming? Could they go for a sleepover and put a cover over the pool?

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timeisnotaline · 12/05/2019 21:23

Not a chance. Also Australian. It is illegal to have a pool that’s not fenced to code, no creepers etc they could climb... I wouldn’t have my children near an unfenced pool without dh & I there and on alert.
Drowning is maybe the 3rd highest cause of death for children in Australia, definitely top 5. It only takes seconds.

Gunpowder · 12/05/2019 21:28

I think I would let my six year old but I think you should listen to the ‘no’ instinct you are getting.

StickOfRhubarb · 12/05/2019 21:38

No, my dd almost drowned in a pool when we were having a bbq at a friends house. It was a relaxed situation and the attention was on the food and what was going on with the adults. We didn’t know the kids had gone out to the pool.

I had to jump in.

ilovewinterpansies · 12/05/2019 21:39

Not a chance I'd let them.

Weathermonger · 12/05/2019 21:43

I consider myself a pretty laid back parent, but this would be a definite NO with an unfenced pool. So not worth the risk, it only take a momentary distraction for a tragic accident to happen .

doubleshotespresso · 12/05/2019 21:44

Would be a no for me I am afraid

Original poster
SkaterGrrrrl · 12/05/2019 21:45

"Will they definitely be swimming? Could they go for a sleepover and put a cover over the pool?"

Yes specifically invited to swim.

OP posts:
PiratePetespajamas · 12/05/2019 21:47

No, don’t do it. Not worth it.

BertrandRussell · 12/05/2019 21:48

Could you go too and stay til bedtime? Or say that they have to wear flotation vests at all times?

Loopytiles · 12/05/2019 21:49

No: my DC are older than yours, usually sensible, and can swim well, and several times they have not been sensible around water, due to their excitement.

Plus, it doesn’t sound like you trust the hosts.

Loopytiles · 12/05/2019 21:50

My oldest DC for example finds a quiet, empty pool very compelling, and could easily do something like go over (fully dressed) to look, mess about by the edge.

3brightstars3 · 12/05/2019 22:02

When I was much younger my friends little brother drowned in a pool on holiday, that's made me very paranoid with mine

HerRoyalNotness · 12/05/2019 22:12

Loving but blasé. Nope, nope, nope.

bliminy · 13/05/2019 01:07

No I wouldn't and I'm amazed the UK allows unfenced pools.

LightDrizzle · 13/05/2019 01:31

It would be a no from me. Influenced by having friends in Oz and also remembering that the little grandson of my best friend’s granny’s neighbours drowned in their pool. I can’t imagine the horror. My best friend’s granny lived in an affluent Dorset village and a surprising (to northern us) number of houses had pools.
Children are just so attracted to water and it can happen in the blink of an eye. It’s not worth the risk.
It makes me shudder and mine are grown up now!

negomi90 · 13/05/2019 01:50

It will probably be fine. But listen to your gut and say no.
What's the worst that can happen - say no, people get a bit disgruntled, children are safe.
Say yes - what if they drown? They almost certainly won't but your gut is there for a reason and you don't trust these people to supervise your youngest in the pool, let alone near the pool.
Say no.
Or if you'd be happy for your eldest to go, let your eldest go alone, and do something really special at home with your younger one.

managedmis · 13/05/2019 02:01

It's a no from me.

They just won't be as wary as they should be.

If you sent them would you actually be able to stop worrying about it all anyway?

Mummaofmytribe · 13/05/2019 02:08

No, don't allow it. I'm also in Australia. The statistics for child drownings are terrifying and it's illegal to have an unfenced pool here. When my GC came along my OH also put a sturdy, fixed metal grille over the fishpond. It's drummed into us here about constant adult supervision around any body of water

pallisers · 13/05/2019 02:17

They are nice, responsible people but something in my gut is concerned. Whereas for example if my sister or my MIL were supervising the kids in deep water, I would trust them completely to keep DC safe.

You aren't being unreasonable - you would let them stay if you trusted them completed but you don't. Say no. An unfenced pool is a red flag for people who just don't get it about the risk of drowning.

My best friend in primary school had an indoor pool - very rare at the time/place We weren't allowed to use it (although it wasn't locked up) because 2 years before a visiting child had drowned in it. If you have a pool/body of water you need trustworthy, constant adult supervision. These people, while nice, can't provide that.

SleepingSloth · 13/05/2019 02:27

My children wouldn't go anywhere with anyone that I didn't fully trust. You clearly don't have complete faith in these people to look after your children so you would be irresponsible to send them.

FromEden · 13/05/2019 02:54

If they weren't going swimming then I would say it's fine, 8 and 6 is old enough to know to be careful around water. But swimming out of their depth without you to supervise, no, you are right to refuse.

Ihuntmonsters · 13/05/2019 03:12

My last house had a pool and the rule we had for any visiting children was that if they couldn't demonstrate that they could swim a length they had to wear a life jacket. The rules where we live are that the pool has to have 5" fences around it but that was for our whole garden, not the actual pool (it was so that children couldn't get into the garden and into the pool without our knowledge, the assumption was that the home owner would supervise children under their care). I would not have invited a non swimmer over to play in our pool without their parents as it would have been very stressful for us watching them all the time.

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