How do I ask the doc a question about my five-year-old without giving my five-year-old a complex?!

[Waffledoggy8]

My five-year-old is very small for his age, much smaller than his peers. His feet haven’t grown in 18 months and he hasn’t grown in height in a year now (only noticed this today). So am going to book him in to take him to the doc tomorrow. But how do I ask my doc about my kid’s height without giving my kid a complex?! (Obviously he’ll be there with me.)

I don’t think he notices he’s small - and if he does, he certainly doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with being small (and there absolutely isn’t). I’m only concerned because he’s SO small (like practically the same size as his sibling, who is two years younger than him) and isn’t growing...

I also want to get him tested for coeliac. I was diagnosed a few years ago, and I know it’s genetic and perhaps why he’s not growing. (He isn’t showing any other coeliac symptoms though.)

What should I do? Should I write down my concerns and hand the paper to the doc? Or just say them and be blasé and stop worrying that my kid might get a complex about being small?

Didn't want to read and run as that is tough!
Sure someone will have a better answer.
At the very least maybe make it special like he gets a treat after like some chocolate or something he'd enjoy. Then he may not properly notice what it was about. Is he usually really observant?

You could make an appointment without him and take his measurements with you. Then take him for a followup if they need to examine him.

Or just writing it down and passing the paper over is a good idea. Not all doctors are very tactful, I find.

I had this dilemma when I needed to talk to the gp about my daughter’s tics. I explained in advance to the receptionist (on the phone) & they kindly kept an eye on dd for a couple of minutes while I spoke to gp alone then she joined us for the gp to examine her.

My ideal plan was for dh to be with us and keep dd out for a few mins but he couldn’t make it in the end.

Oh, that's much better. Do that.

I would write them down

When I've needed similar I've had a telephone appointment with the doctor first to explain my concerns with a follow up appointment with dc. GPs are used the this kind of thing

Hope your ds is ok

Surely if you just said something like you had brought your DS for a height check, the go would pickup on the issue. Perhaps mark his height on the chart in his red book and hand it over at the same time?

I had this dilemma when bringing my 5yo daughter about her tics also.. i emailed a lengthy history of symptoms etc, obviously stuff i didnt mind the receptionist seeing and asked for to print off and give the doctor to read in advance of our appointment, worked a charm and doc thought it was a great idea

are you and his dad small? what was his centile as a baby?

I would write it down.

These are great ideas, thank you so much!

His dad is very tall (in the 95th or something centile. We looked!) I’m below average.

He was born around the 25th centile but then dropped down to the 2nd. I used to bring it up to the health visitors every time when he was a baby, but they used to say he’s just short. That’s because, when he dropped, he stayed there and steadily grew on that line. He could be just small - but it’s the not growing is what worries me. Anyone know if shoe size staying the same for 18 months is normal? Or that he’s the same height as he was a year ago?

When I had something I wanted to discuss with the dr about dd I had a telephone consultation prior to an appointment with dd to discuss my concerns and the dr was very sensitive in her handling of it when we were in there. I think that is possibly the best option for you.

Could you say that you don't think that he's following his height line on the charts. You can Google the charts and see where he is now. Say he was born on the 25th centile, went down to the 2nd centile but you think he's dropped off that and nothing has changed in growth in a year.
Most of that will be gobbledegook to a 5yo.

Perhaps take a book or a favourite toy in so he's also distracted with that.

Write them down so you don’t forget (great tip for all medical appointments)
Take someone with you and go in on your own. And take some toys,books,iPad

I spoke to the receptionist in advance and agreed to bring in a letter for the Doctor to read before the appointment. Come the appointment, I mentioned this. He hadn't read it - looked panic-stricken.

No matter! He sat and read it then and there. DS1 (5) was oblivious. All was well.

I had this with DD but from an earlier age we had been going on and off about it so it’s always been something we go and see the doctor for. Seeing the GP hasn’t given her a complex and we’ve always just had honest discussions about it - although she does sometimes get upset when other children used to make her be the baby in games (when she was younger) or joke about sprinkling water on her to make her grow (now she’s 11).

She went almost two years without going up a shoe size and has been a size 11 now for about 18 months. We got a referral to a paediatrician who we saw via private healthcare, verdict is that she’s just small and has delayed growth that will likely lead to delayed onset of puberty. She’s basically got the skeleton of someone 2-3 years younger and she should catch up during puberty, albeit later that everyone else. They did a whole bunch of blood tests and scans to rule stuff in/out so it was a reassuring process to go through.

Did either you or your husband have late growth spurts? Voice break late? Periods after age 15 or anything? They asked us these questions although they might not be relevant for you for a few more years. My DD was 8 when we kicked off these full investigations after a lot of watching and waiting.

I agree
Write it down and pass it over and then when you talk you can do so in a less obvious way. I agree might be celiac

Coeliac is possible. Also ask for a thyroid check. My dd (underactive thyroid) stopped growing, but it was only in hindsight, after diagnosis, that I realised her feet hadn’t changed for ages.

Thanks all! This is great advice.

makelemonade - it has often occurred to me if he has delayed growth. Did you start at your GP and then decide to go private because it wasn’t getting anywhere?

Neither DH or I had late puberty. In fact, I was early! Age 11. DH average at 13. But some of my immediate family is totally unknown so could be genetic on my side somewhere.

sirvix - hadn’t even occurred to me that it might be a thyroid thing!!

The wait time for the NHS referral was about 20 weeks I think and then longer to get the tests ordered, as we had the insurance we decided to go for it but GP would have referred us to paed otherwise.

I started my period age 10 so wasn’t expecting the outcome but then I found out at follow up spot that DH’s voice didn’t break until he was 17! Which made more sense. He’s 6ft and I’m 5ft6 so the docs have always been pretty confused when we rock up with this tiny child.

Good luck with the appointment. Do take along any historic age/height measurements you’ve got too.