Do you think you can overcome an unattractive personality?

[pinksummerskies]

I'm 28 and I've never had a boyfriend. I've come to the conclusion that I am just hideously unattractive.

Looks wise I'm not bad, as I'm 5'4 and I'm a size 8, I have nice teeth and clear skin. Women in their fifties always cluck at me and tell me I'm gorgeous and why haven't I a boyfriend and when am I giving them a day out?

The problem is me. I'm not funny, or witty, and I'm not very good at talking. I stutter when I get nervous and I speak very quietly. I like listening and I'm good at remembering details so that I can ask a question and listen to the the answer.

I don't have any hobbies because I don't like groups of new people. I can't ride a bike and I can't swim.

I've tried Tinder and I got lots of matches, but they've all just fizzled out, because of my lack of personality.

I don't know how to fix myself. I am really very lonely and I would really like someone to chat to every day, but no one will ever be attracted to me like this.

This is a really sad thread. Do you have any friends? Did you have friends as a child? Do you have any siblings? Did you feel loved as a child?

You do not need to "fix yourself" in any way! You just need to meet enough people for the right somebody to look past your low self confidence!

The strange thing is that I had a really lovely childhood and I do have some friends. I also have some work colleagues who I think I am friends with, because they usually come to sit beside me when they could sit somewhere else.

Being a good listener is a supremely attractive personality trait and I and I think that is your strong point and something to build upon.

I have a friend who seems a bit like you, being quiet and slightly nervous around people. But she is absolutely lovely and has tons of good qualities. She's kind, interesting, knowledgeable and very good at her job. Not everyone has to be witty and laugh-a-minute. You obviously just haven't met the right kind of man yet.

My friend has been seeing someone, who is actually quite similar to her, for about 3 or 4 months now, so please don't give up hope!

Remember you don't need loads of guys you just need the right one. You don't sound unattractive and lm sure you would make a lovely partner.

Can you get involved in clubs etc so you can meet different people. You say you cant play sport or swim. Is that due to coordination issues or just never learned.
There are a lot of us in the world who talk too much...a good listener is always a bonus. Don't be so hard on yourself.

It might be a good idea for you to speak to a counsellor - I'm sure they will be able to talk things through with you.

With your colleagues - do you seek them out? Do they ever meet up outside work? Could you suggest something?

I know that one of my issues is pride. I am so scared of embarrassing myself or being known as a weird friend that I don't ask the girls I know to set me up or talk about being single.

I think it's more important to have female friends at the moment. Is there someone at work you'd like to see outside work?

Do you want to be more 'out there'? You don't have to be and I'm sure you'll eventually meet someone that perfectly suits you HOWEVER if you did want to be more charismatic you could practice putting yourself out there more. Invite someone (female) from work for a drink / try to force yourself out of your comfort zone / start conversations and try to lead them. Start with 'safe' people. Existing friends.