HPV Positive Smear. Do I tell boyfriend?

[seasideramble]

name changed for this

smear came back showing HPV but no cell changes thankfully.

I feel like I should tell my dbf as I'm guessing he most likely has it too? I know there's nothing that can be done, most people are exposed to it at some point etc etc but I still feel it's only fair to tell him. although it could have originated in either of us or even both having had it from before we met.

then another part of me is saying it's not a big deal, it's so common blah blah blah.

What is the done thing in these cases? Any other std and of course I would say something. maybe that answers my own question in that I should just tell him

what should I do?

It is not a sexually transmitted disease and it goes away on its own usually. Most adults have it at some point - you certainly don’t need to sit anyone down...it would be like telling them earnestly that you get cold sores every so often

My initial response is why wouldn’t you, I discuss all health things with my partner. But then I realised maybe this is an early relationship.

I don’t think there’s any obligation to from a sexual health perspective, as you said there’s no action to be taken and most of us have probably been exposed to HPV at some point. So my answer is - if you got diagnosed with anything else non-gynae related, would you tell him, if so, then I’d talk about this

What action have you been advised - more frequent smear exams?

Punk yes earlyish in the relationship. I have had other (non contagious) medical issues since we've been together and have told him. In theory I'm not against telling him about this either. It's life. it happens but selfishly I'm worried he won't want to see me me again.

I know it could have come from either of is but I'm worried it will be a case of 'shoot the messenger'.

If he did want to end things I think it would be like shutting the door after the horse has bolted. We've been together enough that surely there's no way he could not have it

yes punk smear every 12 months now until i get a negative test

I'm worried he won't want to see me me again.

Ok, to me this is a reason to tell him then. Because if would want to end things because of HPV - which he may well have bought with him - then he’s not a keeper anyway, and best you find that out sooner rather than later! It needn’t be a big deal, just mention it in an offhand way same as you would any other mundane news.

Good to hear the new HPV/smear system is working to protect women that need it

punk that is a very good point!!

Yes I was bout worried about this new process but actually I'm now quite pleased that they know i have high risk hpv so will do smears more often

The thing about HPV the majority of men won’t get tested for it as there’s no testing available. There’s a massive stigma with HPV and people speak about without knowing what it actually is. These same people speaking on HPV... how do you know you don’t have it yourself? Because firstly it’s not tested for at GUM clinic for women or men. It would only be picked up through a smear possibly every 3 years!! Also that’s only if it shows up POS at that current time I think it’s not just as plain sailing as some are making out it’s complex. I understand OP.