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Original poster

Do I need to apologise

5 replies

Pointfinger69 · 12/05/2019 13:14

My best friend has been in a financially difficult time and I thinking I would be helping paid for her to go on a weekend... lovely I thought until I have had nothing but hassle about it and now I’m being accused of overstepping and hurting her and even though she went on the weekend and I have apologised she won’t let it drop and it’s now getting uncomfortable with us ... is this friendship over ??

OP posts:

DramaRamaLlama · 12/05/2019 13:20

Yes the friendship is over.

If she'd felt you had overstepped (and maybe you did, it depends on circumstances of your friendship) the time to spell it out was before she went on the weekend away

dosydrawers · 12/05/2019 13:23

If it was such an issue for her she should have not gone on the weekend, I'd say sorry and didnt mean any offense and then just leave it.

LIZS · 12/05/2019 13:31

Odd to raise this after having the benefit of your generosity. If she felt it inappropriate she should have declined the offer.

cstaff · 12/05/2019 13:35

Why are you apologising for doing a nice thing for your friend. I presume it was done with the best of intentions. You have nothing to be sorry for. It sounds like she is the one that has issues, not you.

Moomoo1975 · 04/06/2019 10:01

Oh god, different circumstances but something smaller along these lines happened to me. A friend not a v close friend, learned about a change in my personal circumstances. Now it is temporary and I made pains to say we were ok, and was in the process of figuring things out. They expressed concern, for me and that was that. Until they sent me a card with a small amount of money. Now, its a lovely gesture and I understand where they are coming from. BUT! A, I did not want it. B, I am v private and proud, so now I feel like I have lost my footing with this person as she no longer sees me as her equal but as a pity case. C, I am embarrassed. D, I can't to give it back, But have not done so as am trying to spare her feelings. It will sort itself out.
As regards your friend her ego is bruised right now and you are her friend. If she is like me she wants to be your equal not have you mind her as it makes her feel incapable or that you now view her that way..let the dust settle, open the door for her to repay your kindness in some way at a later date.
In future don't pay for things unless she asks for help 1st. Good luck, I am sure that your friend knows deep down that you were coming from a good place.

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